And is there any point ever having children?

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Why would an Aspie want to have children? You'll pass on your genes to someone else who will want to commit suicide all his/her life.

You will want strong men for hunting. That why you have kids. Also, I need to extend legacy.

I'm strong myself, lol. (well, can bench my own weight...) I don't eat meat anyway, hunting isn't an issue :D

Yeah I feel the same way, but if I did have a kid I'd do my best not to have it feel like I did. Although I find that I'm not really psychologically sound enough to ever look after a child and my deepest reservations on having one are because I know that with my struggles I will not be the best candidate to provide them with all the love, responsibility and all the attention they deserver. If I am ever able to get past my struggles maybe through the experience I'd be able to bless my child with all those things I want it to have. Unfortunately I pessimistically do not see that as ever being a possibility. So yeah no kids for me, I've been saying that to all my boyfriends since I was 14.

I had my son before I was diagnosed with AS. I was always, always deathly afraid of having children before I became pregnant with him. I was so afraid of being a terrible parent. I was never good with children at all and didn't know how to talk to them. My husband desperately wanted children, so we conceived our son. Surprisingly, it was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. It is the best thing I ever could have done. Thankfully, he is not an Aspie like me. He's brought more joy to my life than I've ever had before. He's opened my eyes in so many ways. I do not have a single regret about having my son. My husband wants one more but now I am very scared to have another one now that I know I have AS. I would not want to have a child with AS. We got lucky with our son and I am very unsure we'd be lucky a second time.

I think you make some good points to think about. I thought I'd throw my few cents and experience in. I have always loved children and always known I wanted to have children, but the fondness for them before is NOTHING like the bond and joy that having my son has brought me. I have raised my son as a single mother... I left my husband when I was pregnant (he was abusive). I am still so grateful for having my son, he is really the light of my life and I know it sounds sappy but that's just the truth of it. Having a child is fufilling in a very different way from other relationships. Yes, I am grateful that he is not showing any signs of having Asperger's (he is 1 1/2, but already so different from me). That is only because I am glad that he won't have to suffer through a lot of the pain and alienation I have dealt with and continue to deal with in my life. But if he did have it, or if I have another child in the future who has it, I think it will be beneficial that I have some idea of how he or she might be feeling and can identify, unlike when I was a child and nobody understood me and I couldn't fit in anywhere. I think I'll have some ideas of how to make things easier.
Being a single mother is not easy and I know I haven't been at it for that long (I'm not recommending it per se unless you find yourself in that situation and the alternative is bad, as mine was), but it has helped me be a much better, happier, and balanced person than I think I would have been otherwise. I still hope to have a happy loving family, I don't know if I will find another husband or not but either way I am lucky to have my son. I don't know if anybody ever feels "ready" to have a baby, or that you will feel 100% comfortable about it or settled with time.... there will be uncertainty, strain, stress etc. But the reward is phenomenal and outweighs all that. I'm not trying to convince you one way or the other but just don't think you have to feel all settled or fear having one because of having Asperger's or fear that the baby will. Personally, although I'm hopeful that my son will have an easier time without it than I had with it, I don't feel it is a curse to be passed along or anything... if the majority of people weren't lacking in Asperger's, would Asperger's be a negative thing?

My husband and I just got married in April. Before we got married, we talked about having kids and having no kids.
Right now, we don't have any plans for the near future because he just started a new job... I am not working (I'm looking for a job--I haven't worked in years. I am hoping to find a job and work a bit first before having kids.)

I figured I'd never get married or have kids. LOL
Anyway, I look at babies and we have names that we like... but at the same time, I think 9 months is a LONG time and I'm not sure if I can do it. My mum's always told me that I could never have kids and I guess I listened to her... it's so confusing.

If I found out I was sterile, I'd throw a party.

I have not 1 but 3 kids and 1 more on the way. Of the 3, only 1 has autism and it's Asperger's. He is my oldest, and was also born with a congenital birth defect (gastroschisis....intestines outside his stomach). I was a single mom back then, and married 2 years later to my husband, who is not his father. I can't say it was easy for me, because it wasn't. There were times I literally wanted to throw him out the window because I got so frustrated. But when that happened I would just set him down and walk away for a minute and just breathe.

My 2 year old is so advanced it's crazy. He has the cognitive ability of my 4year old and then some, in some areas. He walked at 7 months, crawled at 4 months, and just amazes me. Proof that an Aspie can have perfectly normal children.

Reading books has helped me. Good parenting books. I'm almost obsessed with it, but it helps my brain get into "mommy" mode easier.

I also have to say this....I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a mom. I love my children more than anything. I'm not a perfect parent, but I actually feel that how my brain works has helped me be a better parent than a lot of my friends who are "normal."

I also have to admit that I do take Zoloft to help with post partum depression, as my doctor called it, although I know now what's really going on. It takes the edge off my flare-ups and helps keep me steady.

I was adpoted.

I feel the same, I dont want my kid [if i ever have one] to have to go through this much pain. but at the same time, in an odd way, it is a gift.


I would consider adoption If I were you...My parents, adopted me, and I loved them till they passed.

I would love to adopt!
I wish it were easier to adopt. I don't think my husband would ever make enough money to be even considered.

Do a little research before concluding that you're too poor to adopt, it's not necessarily true. Unless you have your heart set on an infant, you could look into "fost-adopt" programs -- that's foster care for an adoptable child.

We have done research... and we were interested in an older child, and we were turned down.
So, we'll probably have biological children instead.

I'm sorry to hear that, it's really messed up. Especially considering some terrible people only do foster care for the money.

One of my co-workers adopted because his wife could not have a child but two months after they adopted a three year old boy his wife got pregnate with another boy. We were teasing them that their celebration over finally adopted a child was a little over done and she ended up pregnate because of it.