Too pretty to have AS

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Hi, I think I know what you mean..I my self am not ASD, but my 3 year old is and quite frankly she is beautiful, not just a proud momma talking here-I hear it all the time! But because she is so beautiful there are people who upon hearing her diagnosis that have said either Oh, but she is so pretty, (some "typical" people are not the brightest bulbs on the tree), or I hear oh that is so sad because she is so pretty..OK, I really can not explain it either, some peoples children! It is sad but there are still a lot of "stereotyping" even in this day and age! All that matters is that you changed your style only to make yourself happy and not just because of "what is in fashion"!

I can see that many took your post different to how you meant it. Sorry I cant thou help you much with answering it as I dont bother to dress myself up much.. I actually purposely at times dress myself down as I dont like attention from males so try not to look pretty as such.

Actually rereading this thread I think the point here is missed. Sometimes I feel on here like there is an assumption that everyone is educated on AS. When you say you have AS most people have no idea what it really is unless they know someone. Most of the time it has to be followed with ... AS is on the Autism spectrum. The general public...hears the word 'Autism'...and thinks on one end of the spectrum. HFA is unknown to most...AS is unknown to most. Regular NTs see Autism specials or movies and think either a Rainman type savant or someone who can't speak, which is recognizable. I loved the Temple movie but what I loved the most was how I could relate, the general public still sees a person who they can tell is different. Even educators are confused with all the IEPs and diags out there. Educators are tired of people that can do everything fun in the world but have special learning needs. At the college level you are dealing with professors, the most spoiled people in the whole world. There is a very small percentage of the population that is all excited when you tell them anything that makes them have to work or change how they do what they do. It is better to figure it out for yourself what you need to do to succeed at whatever you have decided you would like to do. Learn how to deal with AS and the challenges it presents to you and learn how to work with it. If you are waiting for the world, higher ed, employers to adjust or accommodate you when you don't have anything they can see you will be disappointed. Expect their ignorance and adjust yourself.

It is only in little pockets here and there that people have a clue about the spectrum and how broad it can be and what it even means to be on the spectrum, and for the most part don't care. Sorry if it sounds harsh but it is true.

I went to talk to a professor about needing some extra help in his class, because I have Aspergian symptoms. He laughed. He simply laughed, and made jest of my concern. I made up a lie and changed the subject, because I was embarrassed to voice my true concerns at that point. I'm sure that if I looked 'more disabled,' he would have taken me seriously.

I don't think beauty/attractiveness alone is a main factor in these types of situations, but it does make a difference. In general, I find that if you look NT, people are shocked to find Autism as one of your defining traits. It all just stems from a lack of understanding Autism in the general population.

I find that particularly for women with Asperger's it becomes harder to tell other people they have it -- particularly when they are adults. After 35 years, women have gotten a hang of how other women behave and can fake eyebrow movements and facial expressions which seem to be so important to NTs. I got a hang of expressions back when I was 15, but I have to admit that I started testing my facial expression theories when I was 13 -- for a couple of years, people used to call me "caricature" so I was probably trying too hard. Not after 15 anymore, which may have been because I turned out to look pretty cute.

Anyway, that brings me back to my point -- my husband let out to a person we knew that I had Asperger's, and she stopped talking to us after basically not believing the idea. I am not beeeeeautiful, but I do have a very nice smile (and big facial expressions still ). I am a weird mixture of extrovert (when I am talking about a subject I love -- I still fail to notice the blank expressions) or when I am doing a presentation, or dancing in public... and an introvert when I have to be forced to have small talk, or participate in family reunions.

My mother does not believe I have Asperger's. She says I look too normal.

But it's OK. I guess I should take it as a compliment -- means I am passing as human.

No offence to any feminine aspies, but they tend to throw me off a bit. I can tell most people with AS from their clothes and mannerisms, but if someone's dressed fashionably and wearing makeup and a trendy hairstyle etc., they can sometimes come across as a spoilt, juvenile NT (just due to poor interpersonal skills, not necessarily poor personality). Eventually, I might figure them out, but it does take longer than with the more obviously weird people.

Most AS females i have met seem to be reasonably attractive and have nice clothes. I think aspie women can be good with clothes and appearance because they are very visual and like objects.

I feel the same as although I don't follow fasion all that closely, I do still like to look nice and keep myself slim!

You do have a point however as many Aspie Girls are what can be tremed as 'ugly' (not meaning to chosres offence to anyone) but sometimes that is only due to the fact that they don't know that they are seen as such and everyone around them does not tell them this!! !

From my childhood dignosis (as I got one when I was 10) I was detemined that I'd not look 'ugly' and so after telling my mum this she put me though a crash coarse in self grooming and beuity.

It was hard work at first sometimes, but fun none the less and in the end I came out the vision of beuty that I am today! (Sorry to have bosted)

I don't think that just becouse someone has AS (or the like) that it means that they have to be fat and 'ugly' and depressed all day, as you know, I have AS and I'm nice looking (even if at times I'm a little quirky looking at the same time) and often very chearful and happy most of the day!

(I get really giddy after I've had a Dr Pepper and then my man joins in and we both have a giggle!)

So yeah sometimes when I tell people that I have AS (which is hardly ever as I don't always feel the need to do so) they find it hard to believe!

Ta now

I remember Amercia's Next Top Model and this contestant.

Heather Kuzmich


She has aspergers.

Most people can't tell that I have AS unless I tell them but I don't think it's because of my looks but because of my ability to hold conversation and appear rather social. People just think I just look like a pudgy little geek.

I've been told I was "too pretty to have Asperger's" on two occasions. Both of the men who said this seemed to think this was some sort of compliment. I'm pretty sure they were trying to come on to me. Telling me this did not have the desired effect, and not just because I'm married! I'm one of those girls who likes fashion and makeup and looking girly, but that has zero to do with AS and more with establishing an identity. (Seriously...my mother is a total tomboy and being ultra-girly was my way of rebelling!)

More or less the same with me.

I worked in my beginning twenties as a gardener and enjoyed very much old clothes and to be covered with earth , had only really strange and non-fitting clothes, my hair was dyed in weird colors. And I was fixed on: the content, not the package counts

I found out when I was 25 that you get more attention, are treated better and more polite, and so on, if you wear nice clothes, have nice hair and use some make-up.
With 28 I started to work as a saleswoman (because I was studying art and knew I would never survive in this field without learning how to connect with people) and had to make my nails (uhuuuu! never really had done before, just a scrub and a nail cut ...) and iron (! !!) my clothes...
It was perfect training, and now, with 36, my camouflage is more or less perfect.

But there was a lot of work, money and effort involved.

Nobody would think now I could be an candidat for Asperger´s.