Apies tend to be much more exacting in our analysis and discussion--this it can take us an hour to answer something that a normal person would answer in 2 minutes.
Unfortunately, the diagnostic criteria is actually a lousy way to diagnose Asperger's. It would be much better to base a diagnoses on how we think and react to situations. For instance, rather than respond with empathy to your situation, as most NTs would do, our minds immediately start analyzing the clues you present, just like Sherlock Holmes! That wasn't a flippant question, it was an honest attempt to better understand the situation at hand. My wife has learned that when she gives me construction job--I'll spend at least 15 minutes figuring out how to do it. But, if she leaves me alone and doesn't rush me, it will also go according to plan!
We never turn into Aspies--we have always been that way.
We can be quite social--but real friends are often few and far between.
The stresses of marriage can easily result in behaviors that appear "Asperger-like."
This place is aptly named "wrong planet"--it is a haven for Aspies, which means that we often appear strange to NTs. If we responded properly to NTs we wouldn't be Aspies. Most of use have great difficulty with non-verbal clues, which are the key to learning how to respond in social settings. But, it is really a spectrum of disability, just as the color pink can really vary--which is why you don't want to tell you husband to buy you a can of pink paint for your bedroom.
For instance, I finally placed an order yesterday at Burger King and by waiting for eye contact, none of us got frustrated and I got exactly what I wanted! This is the stuff Aspies need to learn that seems to come automatically to NTs. Coaching certainly helps, if we can get it.
On weekends we generally try to do fun things together--go a beach, museum, or great place to eat every weekend.
07 Sep 2010, 5:42 am
