Bethie wrote:
Oh, totally.
My parents have always accused me of trying to act like a "know it all",
and I've gotten this from other people, too.
My mom wouldn't call me that (my parents likely don't even THINK using words like "b*tch",
but she's expressed being disturbed by my not shedding a single tear when my grandparents died,
yet I'll bawl hysterically over the deaths of animals.
i'm like you then. i howled when my cat died, cried for days but when my gran died i cried for 30 seconds and no one saw. my dad and mum were worried that i didn't seem sad. wasn't sad for the record. way she was before she died shes better off dead. somewhere between drugged coma and excruciating pain.
i get called cold or b!tch( by my parents and "friends") a lot because i show no emotion unless i really try or because sometimes i just say things that are not in accordance with my fathers idea of good( eg. "you wont eat your mothers birthday cake! you will sit here till you eat it- you are a cold, heartless b!tch. you've ruined you're mothers birthday!"- translated from arabic
). i don't cry, i don't smile. i don't like being touched by my family either. its because i don't love them and showing feelings in front of them leaves me feeling vulnerable. i come across as unfeeling. and my attitude towards death and mourning the deaths of people i don't know seem strange to other people. same for marriage and birth and the fact i want no children. apparently i cannot understand what its like to love because i want no offspring. its ironic that when people call me a b!tch they are being b!tches to me in not understanding me or my feelings or at times even awknowledging i have them. people are cold.