Being Compared to Male Aspies

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When I've avoided social interaction, I've been labelled a "stuck-up b*tch".
I don't see nearly so many consequences for males who do the same- there is no female "lone wolf" role.
Most women are not "pretty", they are simply average, or even ugly, statistically.

I'm not about to start a "grass is greener" battle, though. It's just profoundly irritating to be told what your experiences are based on someone else's personal perceptions of what they think it's like to be female and Autistic.

considering most women from birth are forced to be social and polite whether they want to or not explains
why your comunication skill may be better than some aspie boys.
It really irratates me when sometimes even women push on the stereotypes.
its mainly because women are allowed to be shy naive and taken advantage of in our society so they dont see it as a problem its quite difficult for most women with aspergers to get diagnosed the only reason i had it so easy was probably because i look so much like a boy lol so dont worry about being a fraud its only our stereotyped sexist psychology departments that can be accused of that

I've been reading the guide to aspergers by tony attwood, and he explain that girls are often better at imitating, therefore are able to mask\act well enough in social situations to appear almost NT.

That video was really very interesting.

This is why I rarely tell anyone about my asperger. People always know the 'boy' aspie, but not the girl version. I do think there are some big differences. No wonder I was diagnosed in my 20's even though my parents already took me to doctors when I was barely 2 years old!

I too doubt my 'aspergerness' all the time. It's because I see things on tv or read stories online about aspies who are much less socially developed than I am. I have had the ability to develop my social skills and 'acting talent' to the extend where I can appear normal. Appearantly this isn't a common ability for men.

I've been compared to other females in this way by ignorant people who think they're experts because they know how to google "Asperger syndrome" or because they've known one other female with it, etc. I think the problem is being compared to other people on the spectrum in general, not just to men.

Interesting video. The girl who wanted to be a marine biologist reminded me of me at that age. I think many girls and women with ASDs have more difficulty getting a diagnosis because we do get more "coaching" on how to "get along" than boys do. I'm pretty good at faking NT when I have to. Trouble is, it takes more energy than I feel I have a lot of the time.

~Kate

This week I talked a long time with a woman who told me she had an autistic son and that she now could easily recognize other autistic people.
When I said I had also autistic traits she clearly didn't believe me.

Interestingly, I had the opposite happen to me this week. I met someone new and after two days AS came up in the conversation (I was comparing it to ADHD as something you don't "grow out of"). She said she had a son with AS and had been wondering if I had it as I was so similar to him in the way I related to people (I am not diagnosed).

I think the question is interesting and is a reflection of how males are the starting point for a lot of medical research. For example, the symptoms commonly listed as being typical of a heart attack relate more to men than for women who often present with different symptoms.

I also remember reading that dosages of medication are often calibrated for men, rather than for women, who typically have smaller bodies and greater body fat than men.

The idea that Asperger's is a disorder that presents almost entirely in males was one of the reasons I put off seeking a diagnosis for so many years. (I'm female.)

I get this a lot from my NT sister; she strongly insists that I do not have Asperger's because I'm not like the Aspie boy in her drama class.

I've so badly wanted to say to her, "Once you've met an aspie, you've met ONE aspie."- not all aspies are the same (Aspergers is one of the many diagnoses on the Autistic Spectrum)

...I just can't get over the fact that she thinks she knows about Asperger's Syndrome more that myself!- after all, that is one of my 'special interests (obsessions), that I spend hours on end ritually researching, daily.

...I really feel like mailing her pages and pages of Asperger's info- particularly the differences in male and female traits!- maybe that'll show her how obsessive I am with my interests, and therefore no longer dismiss my claims...

I was in the Summer of 1998 when I was first diagnosed with Depression.