Need to chat with some female with AS
If you are on the phone when you are getting angry, you could just be honest and say, " I'm going to have to call you right back." Then deal with your anger however you need to, and call her back once you are feeling better.
Or if you are together, just excuse yourself until you are feeling better.
You can't help how you feel, but it sounds like it would be best if the feelings were dealt with in private. At least until you have a better way of controlling your anger. It's always easier to talk about things with a level head, so maybe taking some time before discussing them would be good.
In my marriage, I am the one with the temper, and my husband is the one with the need to "discuss". Not your same situation, but if we have disagreements of our own.
He tries to make me discuss things, and it gets me angrier and angrier. And when I lash out with my anger, it makes things worse. That's why I personally NEED to take time before discussing anything, or it gets ugly.
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AQ Score: 44/50 Aspie Quiz: 175/200-Aspie 31/200-NT
Judge of your natural character by what you do in your dreams.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have a question for the OP: if you're not worried about her having sex with or otherwise choosing to be with these people, why is this such a "relationship killer"? Why is it so intolerable? It's been my experience that jealousy when it doesn't have a rational basis is extremely destructive to relationships. It would be different if she was talking about how hot these guys are, but it doesn't sound like that's what she's doing at all. These guys may find your girlfriend attractive, but you're the one who has her in a relationship! Don't let unfounded jealousy mess that up for you. Find a way to deal with it...she's choosing *you*, not *them*. I'm speaking from experience. I used to be jealous. I've learned over many years to tone it *way* down.
~Kate
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Ce e amorul? E un lung
Prilej pentru durere,
Caci mii de lacrimi nu-i ajung
Si tot mai multe cere.
--Mihai Eminescu
Hi Kate, thanks for your reply. Perhaps I did not explain it well. Sorry my bad english. The relationship killer are the fights, not my jealousy. But in sort way some conflicts begans while I am jealous, you have some reason after all.
Thanks for the tips for controlling my jealousy, but the misunderstandings come sometimes not only because of jealousy.