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LostUndergrad9090
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04 Aug 2011, 6:28 am

sraddha wrote:
DreamSofa wrote:
I can make eye contact briefly at the beginning of a conversation but not if the conversation lasts any length of time - I find the contact too intense and it makes me uncomfortable.


Yes, me too, absolutely the same.


same



TheOtherMe
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04 Aug 2011, 9:44 am

Until few years back, I didn't know that eye contact was important. When I talk to somebody I stare at their face. I used to draw faces and I get lost in the details of peoples faces. It fools some, but not all.
When I realized I should actually look people in the eye (Or eyes, which one it is, do I look at one eye or both, I'm guessing both, but that sounds kinda challenging.), and tried it out I freaked out, it's intense and I don't know the timing of it.

I used to think that eye contact was made when someone doubted your honesty, you proved them wronk by looking them in the eye and telling the truth and thats it. I wondered a bit why in novels they always wrote about how they could read someones eyes. Was there something written in it?

Btw, I have been diagnosed with GAD too, and I find pot in right amounts to be very helpful. (no street stuff, but it's illegal here)



Meow101
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04 Aug 2011, 11:21 pm

I fake eye contact, well enough that most people can't tell I'm faking. I look at the bridge of their nose of their forehead. I can't maintain eye contact without getting uncomfortable so I just fake it.

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Dione
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11 Aug 2011, 10:23 am

I can't handle looking people in the face, let alone their eyes. I tend to have better luck looking at people if they have darker features, such as dark skin or eyes. However, ask me to look at someone with light eyes, and you have just asked me to get water from the moon. To me, looking at someone's face is almost challenging their authority, and to look into someone's eyes is a major taboo for me.



Tuttle
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11 Aug 2011, 12:44 pm

With my boyfriend, yes, with a random person, no.



curlyfry
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11 Aug 2011, 5:54 pm

If I don't know the person I have to tell myself to look at their eyes or seem like I am and make sure I gesture a bit like I'm interested so they feel comfortable.



MissConstrue
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11 Aug 2011, 5:56 pm

I do ok with eye contact.


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Incendax
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13 Aug 2011, 6:20 pm

When I was very young I avoided eye contact extensively and my parents worked very hard to train me to look at people when I spoke to them. Thanks to their patience and dedication I can now look people in the eye without discomfort as long as I am generally calm. If I get angry or confrontational with the person I can no longer look them in the eye.

So if your doctor dismisses her because she can maintain good eye contact immediately seek out a second opinion. People on the spectrum CAN be taught skills to mimic NT people to a decent degree at first, but it tends to fall apart during extended scrutiny/exposure.

For that matter, I think it is possible to teach anyone with AS to maintain eye contact. The trick would be carefully disassociating it with what causes discomfort and that can be a challenge!



mimsytheborogove
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16 Aug 2011, 4:55 pm

Like some others have said, I can make eye contact, but it's clumsy and ill-timed. I also find it very distracting; it takes a lot of effort and I spend my time thinking about where I'm looking, rather than figuring out an appropriate response to whatever the person is saying.



tomboy4good
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16 Aug 2011, 5:07 pm

Yes, I've been told my eye contact is too good for me to have Aspergers (within a few minutes in a 1st meeting). :-( What happened to the other criteria for AS? Since when has it all boiled down to having good eye contact or not?


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CeciliaAnn
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03 Sep 2011, 1:44 pm

My eye-contact is pretty much normal, now. It was significantly poor when I was younger. But it can be difficult to make at times, when I get very emotional or feel lost in a social situation, though that could also apply to neurotypicals.


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gemstone123
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03 Sep 2011, 2:06 pm

I can make eye contact for brief and frequent periods now when I talk to someone. I'm better at it with people I know. When I was younger I would completely avoid it. I have basically forced myself to get used to it. :D


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Melpomene
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05 Sep 2011, 4:53 am

I make eye contact, but it's in no way normal. I go from full-on stares to not being able to make eye contact at all and back again. Sometimes I'm able to focus on the nasal bridge, but eye contact with people makes me terribly uncomfortable. Only in emergencies :lol:



MsMarginalized
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06 Sep 2011, 3:44 pm

dancind wrote:
Anyway, the therapist was recommended as someone who knows something about AS. But after about 10 minutes and a brief history, she said it's not AS because DD has good eye contact and expresses herself pretty well. Her diagnosis was Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I read up on it, and it covers maybe one third of my daughter's problems.

So my question, ladies, if you are higher functioning, can you do the eye contact / social talk thing at times? At least one on one with no distractions?


ABSOLUTLY!! ! I have "perfect" eye contact, especially in one-on-one conversations & I definitly have Aspergers :!: THAT'S part of my problem...my AS is presenting itself "atypical" (which is a conundrum...because us gals with AS are "atypical" in & of the diagnosis itself)

Haven't read all the replies, so forgive me if anyone's already said this: GET A SECOND OPINION. And if ya' need to, GET A THIRD OPINION.



tomboy4good
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06 Sep 2011, 4:00 pm

MsMarginalized wrote:
dancind wrote:
Anyway, the therapist was recommended as someone who knows something about AS. But after about 10 minutes and a brief history, she said it's not AS because DD has good eye contact and expresses herself pretty well. Her diagnosis was Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I read up on it, and it covers maybe one third of my daughter's problems.

So my question, ladies, if you are higher functioning, can you do the eye contact / social talk thing at times? At least one on one with no distractions?


ABSOLUTLY!! ! I have "perfect" eye contact, especially in one-on-one conversations & I definitly have Aspergers :!: THAT'S part of my problem...my AS is presenting itself "atypical" (which is a conundrum...because us gals with AS are "atypical" in & of the diagnosis itself)

Haven't read all the replies, so forgive me if anyone's already said this: GET A SECOND OPINION. And if ya' need to, GET A THIRD OPINION.


I second this! Get another opinion. I am sure I also have AS but it's inconclusive because I "show" so well. I think it comes from years of trying to fit in, I mask my symptoms & never let my guard down to show what I'm really like (an act because I cannot trust anyone). I also have been DXd with ADHD & generalized anxiety disorder.


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Aspie Score: 173/200, NT score 31/200: very likely an Aspie
5/18/11: New Aspie test: 72/72
DX: Anxiety plus ADHD/Aspergers: inconclusive


MsMarginalized
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06 Sep 2011, 4:57 pm

tomboy4good; yes, eye-contact is a COPING SKILL that I've learned over years & years (I wasn't diagnosed until I was 41 y/old)

I think that for us women, this is a skill acquired from the school of hard knocks....at least I know my Dad would slap me around if I didn't look at him when I spoke to him/he was speaking to me....