tocophobia?

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Thats the problem!! I constantly worry too much about what everyone thinks of me!

I think that's a fairly common thing among women. And like most everything else, there's a happy medium with it. On the one hand, you can't be totally oblivious to what people think. That would make you an insensitive clod. But you can't let them rule you, either.

Finding a happy medium that works for you ... that's what growing up is all about

I do sympathise. Almost in the same situation though I am older than you, my husband does not explicitly press me for having children, and I generally have no trouble with other people being pregnant unless they shove it under my nose (though most people I know actually try to get me interested. Well they are invariably in for a rude awakening).
Sometimes I feel defective and a failure myself but I try to keep my focus on my own values rather that anyone else's. I do feel disgusted and terrified at the thought of getting pregnant and having to breastfeed. If I ever decide to have children, I'd rather opt for an adoption.
Not many female NTs would ever understand you, I think.

You know what else I hate? Girls getting pregnant in their teens and early 20's...thats way too young to be a parent!! And I, too, hate it when they go on and on about being pregnant and their excitement of having a child.

MEN??? Usually it is the wimminz that want to staring popin' out kids and pressures the Mister into going along. I guess in this case it's the other way around.

Early 20s is perfectly reasonable since it is the biologically best time to have to children. Of course it's not the best time for everyone because of money and careers, but in an ideal world it would be early 20s anyway.

I was 19 when I had my first child. I still remember some stranger on IRC having such a fit about it, calling me "teen mom" and "white trash", even though I had been graduated from high school, working full-time and living on my own since 16, and was married since 18. My pregnancy was even paid for with health insurance that I received and paid for through my job. I didn't need my husband's income to survive. I was 28 when I had my last child. I've always provided for my children. I don't think it's age so much as maturity and self-sufficiency. I could always afford my kids, even when I was homeless. I never had a problem going without so that they had everything they needed, or even wanted. My kids have no clue we were ever poor. Not all 19 year olds are willing to sacrifice and apply the work ethic needed to raise a child properly and I did this consistently through my 20's regardless of how difficult times became. It's rewarding for those of us who love it, but it's no less draining on us than it is on anyone else. These kids who get pregnant so early and so unprepared... they just have this need to create a relationship to feel love and self-worth. That's not an emotionally stable environment to assume responsibility for another life. That's placing the responsibility on this little baby to make the parent feel secure and loved. It's backwards.

I should mention that I didn't plan to start having kids when I was 19. I didn't know antibiotics negated birth control pills. I was on them for four years before I'd gotten pregnant and somehow I never learned that important information. At no time in the emergency room did anyone even ask me if I was on birth control. I've been asked that question since that time so I know it's something they can ask! But oh well. Who knows how long I would've waited if the decision to get pregnant had been mine... and I would've missed out on this independent, intelligent hard-working young man who began high school yesterday.

I am sorry, wefunction, but I am not sure whether a list of your achievements in the maternity department could be source a consolation for anyone with issues in that area.
I mean, obviously you are proud of yourself, great job, congratulations, etc., but that's exactly the type of response I personally don't find helpful for a person who's having doubts about motherhood. If anything, it would enforce the feelings of inadequacy.

Me too. I analyse people to see if they are reacting to something I've said, or how I look, and I imagine that they are thinking terrible things about me all the time.

I hate going out in public, its a million times worse. I'm paranoid....... Too much striving for perfection and acceptance.

Thanks for all your responses, it's nice there is some understanding here. It's not like I can tell NT people I don't really like children and I just pretend I am OK with them.
I might not even rule it out, I just start thinking what if then all I can think about is all the unpleasant aspects. I will bring up at the Asperger centre as have some appointments to do with my depression.

Children, infants, toddlers and babies all repulse me. I'm even repulsed by pictures of babies. I couldn't get on here for a while because a certian member had a picture of her baby for her icon. It was nothing to do against her or her child. ALL babies and children just repulse me. I find snakes adorable however.

Well, I would say 24 or 25 is a reasonable age to have kids. I think 20 is still too young!

I'm 25 and, thankfully, no one has been bothering me about this. If anything, my parents are quite happy to discourage me from having kids for awhile. I don't have a phobia of kids, but the whole process seems way overrated. It seems like a scam, really. I am also quite convinced that human females aren't built to have babies like other animals-- even female chimpanzees have an easier time.

So if I were to end up wanting a kid, I think I would adopt or maybe have a host kid come stay with me, perhaps as part of a study abroad program. Even that is pretty low on my priority list. I would need to be completely settled with a good job and not feel like a total failure as far as responsibility goes. Also, I find pets to be much more rewarding. I'd rather take care of a dog or cat than have a baby.

As for how to deal with co-workers that are like that, can you just tell them politely to "please refrain from talking about your pregnancy when I am around"? If you want to lie, which I don't recommend, you could tell them that you have a medical condition which prevents you from becoming pregnant. Or you could be honest and tell them you have a phobia of the childbirth/reproductive process... I dunno, I tend to just fall back on honesty as the best policy, even if it gets me into trouble.

Whatever the case, I hope it works out for you!

I was responding to something else that was said and provided quotes for context. There is nothing wrong with what I posted. I'm sorry if what I said provided you with feelings of inadequacy but I can hardly take responsibility for that. I can offer my apologies if loving my children somehow affects you, although it has absolutely nothing to do with you and I should not be made to feel awkward or guilty because you've overstepped your place and you're trying to project your feelings on the OP. I responded to the OP on the first page of this thread and at no time have I ever contradicted my feelings on who should and should not have children nor have I pressured the OP to have children.

So sorry. I must have been labouring under the false impression that that this thread was not about anyone's children.

As I said, not everyone should have kids.