Misogynists

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I look at a number of threads where clearly women should be posting and they're not.

And I think it isn't so much deliberate hatred of women but a complete inability for many of the males around here to relate without using the penis to think.

One thread I'm thinking of is the flirting thread. It's worse than soggy sayos in there.

And several threads asking why women prefer jerks - not true. But so many males are in denial and they blame women instead of taking responsibility for their own actions.

The thread in the mens' discussion asking men about female orgasms as if any males have what it takes to answer. That was stupid and quite nasty.

Threads asking how to relate to women as if they need to be approached in a way vastly different to men. Sure, most women aren't so fond of the burp and fart approach but neither are men you're not already good friends with.

It's the complete imbalance. It seems like most of the blokes are so distracted by thoughts of sex, that nothing else functions in their brain, when they know the person they're in conversation with is female.

With a few notable exceptions, I don't feel like it's a hate thing but it is repulsive. It doesn't encourage women to feel included or welcome. Every day I come here I consider re-incarnating with no sex or as a bloke. I feel the conversation might be more coherent then. Though on other forums - I just get called "gay" instead when I disagree with someone. So maybe it is a hate thing.

I don't really see why women as a whole would be offended by some of the threads you've brought up wobbegong. But if you have a problem with these threads, why don't you say something?

Personally, I think that there's hardly ever been a thread where any statement that could be considered offensive hasn't already been picked to pieces. Sure, there's been many discussions here that have sometimes gotten out of control, and have ended up offending people. But I think these discussions are a good thing. It's far better that we're discussing these things openly rather than pretending these issues didn't exist.

Enigmatic Oddity

I'd like the men's discussion forum and the women's discussion forum to be segregated - that's what I thought the point of them was - otherwise why not use the existing forums? So I won't post in the men's discussion if I can help it (sometimes I don't notice/check which forum a thread is in).

It's not that I find "soggy sayos" offensive. I don't. But I do find it repulsive. It repels me so I stay away. Sometimes I do post what I think when a conversation goes to bits like that. But mostly - with so many threads - why bother with the repulsive ones.

I'm also not completely into bashing my head against a brick wall when it comes to trying to educate the males who deny their own responsibility for their lack of "success" with women. I pointed the first few at Heartless B*tches but after that it got a bit repetitive for me and I got bored. Many ask for help then get angry when you tell them stuff they don't want to hear. Those guys probably are misogynists.

But mostly - there are (aspie) blokes I'd like to be friends with but I find their penis interferes too much with their thinking. I'm trying to talk about sport or current affairs or the insides of car engines or something non-sexual. And they're trying to tell me all their detailed sexual fantasies that I'm not ready for or in the mood to hear. It is unbalanced and it is repulsive. It isn't really offensive. If anything it is slightly flattering - but only slightly because it doesn't seem to be special attention for me alone, any woman cops the same behaviour from guys like this. The main difference between the aspie males and NT males in this, is that most NT males can keep their fantasies to themselves until it is the appropriate conversation topic, like we're talking about sexual fantasies or we are in the mood together (not him alone).

I dislike the shallow NT stereotype sort of woman, but I think that's pretty much everyone here.
Regardless of if they've actually met anyone like that or not.

I don't know what sort of population break down that is, and I suppose in the end it doesn't really matter since I form opinions based on the people themselves. Or at least what the people seem to be. (Not like I can really know exactly what someone is really like)

There probably are women out there that the Misogynists describe (mind you they think that's every woman). And probably a lot of women do repeatedly go for the jerks. But you know, why would you even want someone like that? The female stereotype is not exactly desirable.

And if there is someone that is for the most part worth it that goes after the jerks, try and learn what it is that makes them attracted to them, and find a way that you can do the same without having to give up too much of who you are.

Making the odd mean comment here and there in jest does not a jerk make.

There are a lot of different types of women. It's not unreasonable to assume that you could attract some of them given that.


The same applies more or less for men too, but that's a bit off topic.


Oh yeah, and there are lots of sexually frustrated men (and women) that are pretty damn nice people. Many are probably nicer than me too.

I think there really is nothing stopping most people from breaking away from traditional gender roles. Most of the challenge of this lies within oneself; it's the challenge to be different.

I'm not saying that there aren't real barriers stopping people from acting against their gender roles, but I am saying that quite often people are held back by their own fears, and they are too quick to use the excuse that they are being held back by societal attitudes. It's a convenient excuse for many people because it lets them blame society for their own inability to express themselves.

I have to agree with that one, Enigmatic Oddity.

I see that pretty much the same as "people blaming external things (eg women), instead of taking responsibility for their own actions or lack of action".

I think that the men who have never really interacted with a woman in an intimate fashion can appear hateful, but they are really just being severely clumsy.

Also the women are outnumbered here, so sometimes I feel like someone who has stumbled into a men's club. But because there is just more "noise" from the men that can feel intimidating.

And I think there are just generally a lot of guys here with tremendous frustration and anger, who have been dogged on all their life. I can relate to that as I feel the same thing, and was dogged on all my life, but I think with men, it is more extreme, or maybe they show it more openly, their rage and violent feelings.

Haha, I tried, I really did!

I am unable to flirt in real life, if a man compliments me or tries to flirt with me I will just freeze and turn mute. So it is weird to be able to give it a go at the keyboard.

en_una_isla

I saw that. It was gross/ugly. Like they didn't need sayos any more because they had you.

We'd like to help, we really would.

Uhm...whats a sayos...and how do they get soggy(I thought it was the big cactus that lives a thousand years in the desserts,but it doesnt make sense...while I am at....what is "trolling?"I know it doesnt involve living under a bridge and eating children...how does it apply to forums?

Just because you've had a rough time, dosn't make it ok to have such open rage and hostility.

Sure it does!

Just one should pick their targets a bit better

I was really tired when I wrote that last night--- what I was trying to say is that I see a lot (a LOT) of misanthropes here, but not necessarily misogynists. The difference is important because one is sexist, the other is not... I am something of a misanthrope myself. I despair a lot over humanity.

I agree with you wholeheartedly. It is very intimidating and insulting here at WP to be a female. It's like thinking you are joining up with other likeminded individuals, but then you discover its like joining the "good ol' boys club" in reference to the crude Southern mentality I grew up around.

I think these guys are mostly sexuality frustrated because they can't get even the time of day from a woman. But then if someone speaks to them online they toss back expletives, sexual statements from out of nowhere and insults. They don't know how to behave around others, especially women and they are making it even harder on themselves by insulting the few women that are here. Its unlikely they will find an Aspie woman in their own home town. So what do they do but shoot themselves in the foot here. This is the biggest meeting place of Aspies online so if you blow it here you are blowing it big time.

Please don't ruin my image of you Xuincherguixe. You're one of the few guys on here that seems respectable. Like you got your head screwed on straight most of the time. Not that it matters what I think about you or any of the other guys here. Its just really becoming disappointing at WP. I thought at first my dr was wrong in telling me how pathetic most Aspie guys are and how they will never have much of a life. I was getting really angry at her dis-ing all the guys, but I am beginning to think she was right all along. What a bummer!

Is it any wonder more females aren't here? There's probably a higher ratio of female Aspies but when they see the Welcoming Committee perhaps they run the other way. I think I would much rather be around NT's as crazy as they are than to be around other Aspies who are going to be rude and insulting.

Aspie misogyny seems to be more covert or passive-aggressive than the overt sexual discrimination that many NT men express in NT oriented forums.