Are you afraid of having a child be on the spectrum?

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NT, without a doubt! My life has been pure hell thanks to AS and wouldn't want my kid to suffer like I have in life.

NT. I think it would be much easier on my child for them to not be on the spectrum.
They would be much happier and less lonely.

Right now I dont want kids but if I did, I'd rather have an NT kid. I dont want my kid to have to face what I faced. I dont want to bring someone into the world whos going to struggle throughout life.

NT. I'm not sure yet if I have Aspergers, but I do know if I do have it, I don't want my child to be like me. I've thought about it before, and it's the reason I want have sought out therapy for my depression and social anxiety. I don't want negatively influence the way my future kid grows up. I feel like my mom has negatively influenced me (not that she meant to or anything) and I just don't want my kids to go through the same thing if they can help it.

Not at all really, infact, I wouldn't be surprised if either me, my brother, or any of my maternal cousins has one when we are older due to the fact that there are two cases of autism on my mother's side of the family: Me and one of my cousins. Unfortunately, my cousin is not doing so well. Right after graduating high school, he was getting help and doing well at community college, but then suddenly, he dropped out and now he is mostly home doing nothing with his life. Thankfully he does not have internet because I fear that he will just end up like another Christian Chandler or any one of those other "lolcows" people troll. His twin brother is not doing that well either. He dropped out of high school and he is doing nothing either.

It is weird because despite knowing my cousin with autism very well and playing with him whenever the family got together, it was not until I was 16 when I realized that he had autism like me. Not until 16... It just didn't occur to me the way he acted was unusual partly because well, I acted similar.

I will do my best not to make the same mistakes as my aunt and uncle and I think I can definitely handle this because I feel like I know autism better than most.

I just wonder what my brother would do when he finds out that he has a kid with autism. It will probably be all deja vu to him... I'm sure he will appreciate me as an aunt.

Autistic, at least if it's on the higher end, here are four reasons why:

1. There is already enough NTs in this world.
2. If I could live with it, then so can my kid. Anyway, things are getting better.
3. It would be appropriate karma for my parents having to raise me.
4. I'd be able to relate with them better.

I like children but I'd be afraid to have children of my own. I wouldn't be sure how to raise the child properly because I lack the mothering instinct that NT children are born with. If I did decide to have kids I'd rather have a NT child so they wouldn't have to go through the same difficulties that I did when I was young and still go through today. I would hate to see my son/daughter be alone and bullied because of their AS. Having a biological child in my situation would be selfish because the chance of my child having AS and being bullied would be way too high. Anyways I have three younger sisters who will likely have kids someday and I can be the crazy Aspie aunt.

If my parents loved me I would've had an amazing time. You would have to totally believe you were gods and defer to no one, it's hard to find a spouse like that, but it's possible that autistic kids would be the best kind because of how connected to the world they are. NTs are cool in an NT world but if you're thinking that way, so are cats.

I have one aspie (9) and one with autism and pda (13). The aspie one is very mild and quite happy with friends and gets on ok at school but the one with autism is very unhappy and her life is a living hell, she has such bad sensory problems and feels like her skin is itchy and on fire all the time, she has no friends and at school gets wrestled by the teachers most days for having violent tantrums. I would not wish aspergers or autism on anyone and I felt very bad for passing my condition on as i know what a unhappy youth i had. I think its quite a hard ethical decision to think about whether one should pass on a condition. I love my children very very much though, its just sad with what they will have to go through.

I really don't know really. Whatever happens happens I guess. I'm gotta have a baby in March!

[quote="The-Raven" I would not wish aspergers or autism on anyone and I felt very bad for passing my condition on as i know what a unhappy youth i had. I think its quite a hard ethical decision to think about whether one should pass on a condition. [/quote]

Everyone suffers, life is suffering, but it is also joy. Are you happy? Should no one have children as they're children are going to suffer no matter what? Is it right to deny someone the right to joy from living just because they might suffer a bit more? You do not decide whether or not to pass on the condition, you only decide whether you have children or not. You say you love your children, and at least your aspie is happy, so know don't have any regrets. An unhappy youth is just an unhappy youth, life moves on. Don't feel bad about passing it on, you had no control over such things.

On the spectrum.
Parenting someone not like yourself is a lot more difficult, I'd imagine.

I have a very high functioning 8 yr old Aspie boy. (I believe I am a very high functioning Aspie myself) I have been told numerous times by folks that he's not Asperger's, even by MDs.
But he totally is and his diagnosis came from Fraser, a very respected agency that serves people with AS. He ended up extended nursing and my cosleeping and other Attachment Parenting techniques probably helped him get the extra attention he needed to thrive as a baby.

But as a single parent for all his life, I don't think I *want* to have another AS child, but I may be willing to risk it with my boyfriend....this time though I'm not going for it until we are Married. (Goddess Bless my IUD)

Marriages can be annulled; babies can't be.

Start with Marriage and if that doesn't work, parenting together won't either. (my son's father is very likely Aspie too but refuses even to talk about it. He doesn't like labels or mental health services. we only dated three wks before conceiving and I left him when I was pregnant)

I think, though, if I KNEW what I was dealing with from the start it would have been easier. It's really the tantrums that are the most difficult for me (they are fewer and far between but more violent when they do happen) Having my boyfriend to back me up now is a whole different ballgame, but keeping your cool when you are alone and your kid is destroying things in his bedroom, and then banging on and scratching at the door with the broken pieces, it's really hard. (especially cause loud noises and yelling are big triggers for me)

I also had an emergency C-section birth with my son, so I REALLY want to have a baby just to have a vaginal birth.
So, I voted that I would like a NT child if I have another baby. Though like I said, having a partner and knowing what you are dealing with might make it less traumatic being the parent of an autistic child and I know I will be certain I can handle any outcome before making a child.
sorry, I have to go, the sound of my biological clock ticking is so loud, I need to drown it out somehow

To be fair, I wouldn't label my kid as NT, especially since the likelyhood of my future kid(s) not having depression, anxiety, or autism is very slim. I have a strong genetic base for all three, though depression/anxiety are more commen in the family lines.
I would want my kid to not be Autistic, mainly because while I consider it a blessing for myself, it is still such a hard life. I wouldn't be as upset over an Asperger diagnosis, as my child would be able to function in some way in a "meaningful" way. Not that I would hate my child or not support my child if they were severely Autistic (like I was as a child) or moderately/high functioning Autistic, but it's harder. It's so much harder to deal with the sensory overload, the painful touch, the struggle of having no place to turn (Even Aspies can judge you if you're HFA), and I just don't want my future babies to suffer. I want them to have better then what I have had, which is why I'm scared that just by using my DNA, I'm going to hurt them

I've been thinking about this lately. I feel like when our time comes we will get what we get and just be okay with it. I feel like if we have an Aspie child, then at least their dad (who is an Aspie) will be able to understand some of the things that I may not. I also wonder sometimes if we have a child who is NT if they will be able to understand their dad and know that he does care about them even when his behavior may indicate that he is not interested. I am just coming around to understanding that some of the behavior I thought was selfish in my partner is actually typical of AS, and I would hate for our child to misinterpret this and be hurt as well. But I would love any child we had, regardless of if they were on the spectrum or not.

NT. My odds of having an autistic child was a big factor in why I got sterilized.

But I think a HFA can have a great life, if they get the right teaching and care from parents and teachers.