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ValentineWiggin
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22 Aug 2012, 11:29 pm

LKL wrote:
I usually respond with an emotionless stare, which they then seem to fill in with their own shame at having said something inappropriate.


This.


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Sanctus
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30 Aug 2012, 3:43 pm

DeathbyMonkeys wrote:
I'm pretty sure my answer will be unique so I didn't bother with the details of your question.

STEP ONE: Learn all you can about women's health/body.
STEP TWO: Get a "I don't care what you think cause you ain't worth meh time" Attitude.
STEP THREE: When boy makes comment about your boobs, make comment about nipple erections! When he makes comment question about your vagina, answer precisely and emotionlessly!
Example: "So.. are you tight?"
"I've been told I'm pretty tight, but thats puzzles me cause only big men seem to please me."

STEP FOUR: Watch dumbfounded or confused face before walking away or asking "Anything else?" Feel confidence build

Step five: If the above steps appall you to no end, walk away and or slap guy after he makes question/comment. Approach nice man sitting at computer and make chit-chat.

I actually enjoy talking and learning about sexuality/sexual things, so if I have offended you I'm sorry.
But I hope I made you laugh despite my total seriousness.


Problem is, that's not me. I could never pull that off. I guess I'm kind of prude in a way, especially since I actually AM a virgin at 19 and don't think I'll ever have sex (considering asexuality). And I don't want to pretend that I'm not by making comments like you suggested because I don't think it's something to be ashamed of. I couldn't say that convincingly anyway. And slapping is a bad idea since some of the guys are actually ok except for this.



Vintagegirl
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11 Dec 2012, 5:03 am

LKL wrote:
I usually respond with an emotionless stare, which they then seem to fill in with their own shame at having said something inappropriate.


Same here



AspieOtaku
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12 Dec 2012, 1:49 pm

As a guy I will crack a few perverted jokes but only around the women who will get the jokes and laugh about it usually women that I know though. I avoid trying to crack the same kind of jokes to women I don't very well because well they will find it offensive immature vile and deem it as sexual harassment or something of that level.Most women are very emotionally sensative and take things too seriously so one has to be careful. I know a few women who will make adult jokes back and we have a few good laughs over it. We guys just tend to be immature and dirty jokes are easy cheap humor but its no excuse to just walk up to a random lady and say those kinds of things. It can be seen as an attack, sexist, and offensive and not everyone has perverted humor. Esspecially the thats what she said jokes.Not everyone has a Howard Stern sense of humor or enjoys bar humor.


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14 Dec 2012, 1:39 pm

I like flirting and I have learnt to enjoy jokes like that now, but I couldn't when I was a teenager at school. I remember a boy put his arm round me and said, ''she's my b***h''. I sort of knew that ''b***h'' didn't mean no harm in this context, but I still didn't quite know how to react to that. Also boy used to say, ''I love you!'' in the classroom, and I never knew what to say to that either, until one girl said to me, ''say 'love you too'.'' But I was always afraid to say that in case they might have took me seriously, plus I've aways been a shy, timid person.

I find older men are easier to joke with. Their jokes make sense, and they don't really mind if you are too shy or timid to respond with confidence, and they kind of put on the ''I will protect you, little lady'' impression, which makes me feel quite safe and less embarrassed. But I always feel embarrassed when young men around my age started joking around because I don't always know if they mean it or not (and I'm sure they don't either, half the time).


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Serenita
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15 Dec 2012, 8:45 am

Very mildly sexual jokes, if they are cleverly constructed and not demeaning, I will openly enjoy.
However, most sexual jokes I find stupid and juvenile.
As a rule, I'm not comfortable with sexual jokes in mixed company.



Incendax
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16 Dec 2012, 9:46 pm

For many people the ideal is to rebuke the person making those comments, and hope for the vague possibility of them seeing the error of their ways or merely leaving you alone. This does work to a limited degree, but you will do more social engineering if you laugh along with the joke and tell one of your own that is only mildly offensive to the joke teller, so that they can laugh at themselves as well.

In the world we live in, the second option is almost always the better option.



Serenita
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17 Dec 2012, 2:43 pm

Incendax wrote:
For many people the ideal is to rebuke the person making those comments, and hope for the vague possibility of them seeing the error of their ways or merely leaving you alone. This does work to a limited degree, but you will do more social engineering if you laugh along with the joke and tell one of your own that is only mildly offensive to the joke teller, so that they can laugh at themselves as well.

In the world we live in, the second option is almost always the better option.


I don't agree, Incendax. I'm not interested in social engineering, and I'm not going to fake laughing (is that even possible?) at a joke that I find offensive. I probably wouldn't rebuke anyone either. Instead I would ignore the joke and the joker unless it's something absolutely horrendous and vile, in which case I would give them a piece of my mind.



Incendax
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17 Dec 2012, 6:47 pm

Serenita wrote:
don't agree, Incendax. I'm not interested in social engineering, and I'm not going to fake laughing (is that even possible?) at a joke that I find offensive. I probably wouldn't rebuke anyone either. Instead I would ignore the joke and the joker unless it's something absolutely horrendous and vile, in which case I would give them a piece of my mind.
That is perfectly acceptable. In no way is it necessary for you to do any of those things, you will just have more resources and social contacts if you did. There is nothing inherently wrong with burning bridges as long as you are happy with the result, and it sounds like you are.

Only slightly related, it is very possible to fake laughter. I find it necessary to do very frequently, especially coming from a family with three generations of people on the autism spectrum. Both my father and grandfather can speak at extreme lengths on topics that are not interesting to me. Smiling, laughing, nodding, and making a performance out of acknowledging gestures or comments ensures that I still have family willing to aid me in times of need.