For those diagnosed in adulthood

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I've known about autism for about a week now, and every day I see more evidence that I am an Aspie. So, I've started telling people close to me, and so far, every one of them had NO REACTION. It is baffling. They had no comment, whatsoever. Except for my mom, who told me that she had started researching over the past couple months, and had come to the same conclusion. I wonder why she didn't tell me about her findings? Ah, well. We'll see how it goes with my friends in the future.

Yes, my friends have told me they would've never guessed. But my family on the other hand was not surprised and was completely on board with the diagnosis. My family got to see the real me for 23 years while my friends didn't. My friends only see the front and mask I have on when I'm with them.

I've only had an official diagnosis for two weeks. I told a couple of close friends before I was diagnosed and they seemed pretty understanding, though I did get a "I never would have guessed, you must be very high-functioning". After I've been diagnosed, I got a "Well, that's interesting!" from my grandmother. Still not sure what she thought about it.

The people I've told so far either smile, say Huh? or of geez...

The people I've told so far either smile, say Huh? or of geez...

I learned that a couple RN's I know already knew it. Others I know aren't surprised, they just said,"I had wondered." I guess mine is way more obvious than I thought. Nobody seems surprised by it, and they all say it makes perfect sense.

I was diagnosed back in April at age 50. Other than my wife (who was with me when the Psychologist provided the diagnosis), I have told my teenage daughters, my siblings, my parents, an uncle (who is a mental health professional), my closest friend (who I have known since age 5) and two former work colleagues.

The reaction was interesting.

Several said, “I know someone who has Aspergers and you are nothing like them”.

Several listened and then changed the subject, never to ask me about it again.

The uncle, who is a mental health professional, thought I was misdiagnosed. I believe he thinks I simply suffer from depression, anxiety and perhaps some personality disorder. He urged me to undergo therapy and get another opinion.

Ultimately, no one really cared about the diagnosis. Which, after thinking about it, is not much of a surprise. This stuff just isn’t that important (at least to them), especially at my age.

That´s intersting.... that even a professional prefers to label you with much more severe things (personality disorder is a pretty strong one), than simply just another kind of wiring.

Prior the diagnosis, I spent quite a bit of time talking to my uncle about some of my behavioral symptoms that led me to believe I could have Aspergers. During these discussions, we discussed various “conditions” that could explain some of these behavioral symptoms including: Aspergers, Nonverbal Learning Disorder, Generalized Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Schizoid Personality Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder.

Based upon these discussions, I decided to learn more about these conditions and ended up reading ~ 20 books (one of the more interesting books I read was suggested by my uncle entitled, “Character Types”). One of my big discoveries was that there is a tremendous amount of overlap in terms of commonalities of behavioral symptoms.

Based upon advise from my uncle, I specifically asked the Psychologist (doing the diagnostic) to evaluate me for not only Aspergers, but also the other conditions I mentioned above.

The Psychologist (doing the diagnostic) was quite confident that my social issues were due to Aspergers and NOT to a personality disorder or social anxiety. The two things that convinced me that the diagnosis was correct are: #1) I experienced these symptoms early in childhood and #2) the neurological testing (particularly Wisconsin Card Sorting Test and Wechsler Memory Scale) indicated issues with Executive Functioning.

So, my uncle has been doing this for many years (before Aspergers was included in DSM). Most of his training was in Personality Disorders. What do they say, “When you are a hammer everything looks like a nail”. LOL.

This neatly sums up my thoughts about your uncle's reaction.
Unfortunately, I don't think there will be any convincing your uncle.

I'm in my twenties, and I got my diagnosis 2 days ago!

None of my friends would believe me, and my family just tought I was making excuses for dropping out of school - 2 times - and quitting my jobs after just a few months - 6 times- .

I feel SO relieved that I'm going to have some coaching; I always managed to act - almost - normal in social situations; but it became so exhaustive that I barely had any energy left to do what I really wanted to.

Actually, it just felt so good that yesterday I put on my sunglasses - I used to do that when I was younger - in the middle of the night, went out with a friend and hummed the intro to Sunglasses at night the whole time; feeling completly free to ask him to move the less filled-with-people side of the road and act like a total child.

Guess I shouldn't have that behavior too often; but being myself without caring to look ret*d just felt SO GOOD - and I at least have one friend who likes me that way.

I get this from my family they don't believe it than they go on an later and descibe autistic like behaviours that I had growing up

Without a doubt, his mindset is based upon training from years past. At the same time, he is simply looking for a second opinion. Which, as I think about it, makes sense. After all, seeking a second opinion (and sometimes a third opinion) is quite common in the medical community.

Then, if I had that second opinion, he would reply, “I’ll be damned”.

Now, this (seeking a second opinion) isn’t something I would seriously consider. Mostly because of the expense. Also, what if the second opinion came back with something different? Would I then go for a third or even fourth opinion?

And, if I am not going to get a second opinion, my uncle would ask, “How certain are you that the person doing the evaluations is qualified?”. “How many people has this person diagnosed”? Those are great questions. While the DSM criterion is fixed, the process of determining whether the criterion is met depends upon who performs the diagnosis. There could be misdiagnosis. It happens.

It’s interesting. Given the lack of standards (regarding the diagnosis process itself), I can see why he is skeptical. I myself am (at times) a bit skeptical about the diagnosis. As I have been told, “I know someone who has Aspergers and you are nothing like them”.

Whew, its such a relief to find you all here!

Im 45 and just now in the process of getting diagnosed. Its such a relief to look back at my life with aspie glasses--and it gives me confidence in being who i am. Now I can FINALLY stop always trying to be "normal"!

But Im scared that though Ive taken all the tests and am reading all the books and fit the description "to a t" (whatever that means), that the shrink will say Im not. Anyone else have that fear?

Cindy

Oh, my goodness, yes. I started seeing a therapist a couple months ago, and that was when I figured out (on my own) that I was autistic. Unfortunately, I'm also very paranoid, and everything my therapist says screams to me that he doesn't believe me. I'm not even sure some of my family believes me. It's terrifying, because I was so excited to finally understand who I am, and yet nobody else seems to get that.

But luckily, someone close to me believes me one hundred percent. She told me that sometimes doctors won't believe you, but that's their problem: you know who you are, and that's all that really matters. Just keep reading up on it, and talking to other Aspies, and if your shrink won't believe you, move on, get somebody better.

Yup! My shrink doesn´t want to even discuss it, but I am seeing an authorized clinical psychologist, who seems dead-sure, that I do have aspergers, but what if the testing says something else?
Then I´d be back to sqare one, just being "inexplicably impossible" again. (my own words)

Last edited by Jensen on 13 Aug 2013, 1:22 am, edited 1 time in total.