What you will NEVER understand about men

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What men wish women would understand.

If you're truly interested, don't play hard to get; SAY SOMETHING or regret forever that you didn't.

Shopping is a chore, not an activity; so just buy something already!

When I screw up, go ahead and tell me ... ONCE. More than that is called "nagging".

If an argument was important enough to start, then it is important enough to finish - when the argument is over, it is OVER. Don't keep it dragging on for days ... or years ...

The fact that I like to hang out with the guys and do stupid stuff is your one best indicator that I am mentally and emotionally healthy.

No, your cat is just like everyone else's cat.

Just because I hang out with your best friend's husband does not mean that I know what he thinks of her; and even if I did, I wouldn't admit it.

Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.

Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked ain't pretty.

We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn't always have to lead to sex ... but if it does, so much the better!

There is nothing in the world that sounds more beautiful than you during an orgasm.

I just may lie to make you feel good. Don't be angry about this. You really weren't looking for the truth anyway.

No, we don't know the names of the people that were there; we didn't even count how many.

Rambling emo freeverse is not poetry; "The Man From Nantucket" is.

When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence ... and sometimes even your sanity.

"I don't know" means "I don't know"; it does NOT mean, "I'm purposely withholding that information from you just to piss you off".

You're really bad at faking it. Seriously, we can tell. But don't stop faking it. We like that too!

If I offer my help while you're getting ready, it means we're already late.

Never ask our opinions about some other woman's appearance. You will always assume that we're lying if we say she's nothing special, and assume that we want to get in bed with her if we say she's pretty. Either way, an argument is about to start.

When choosing what to wear on a date with us, err on the side of "hot", not "cute".

Being good in bed means you should have a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience.

A random unexpected grope from you is always welcome, even in public. Especially in public.

"I'm sorry" means "I'm sorry"; it does NOT mean, "Guilty on all counts, your honor", especially when we don't even know what we're saying "I'm sorry" for.

Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal.

Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman's problems. But you seem to have so many...

Do not expect to have a conversation via the Internet message unless you use the words "lonely", "naked" and "waiting".

Anytime you cook for us, we're happy.

No, I don't remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I'm a guy, not a tape recorder.

We have a keen sense of nature's warning signs; most of them usually sound something like, "Do you think she's pretty?"

Don't rely on us for keeping you up on gossip.

Never assume to know us better than we know ourselves. We know you're wrong. You know you're wrong. So let's just leave it at that, shall we?

Brainstorming names for Fnord's man-dictionary:

Mancyclopedia
Testostictionary
Shesaurus

Androfnordicon

What it's like to be the impregnators rather than the incubators. I do think that's where the big fundamental rift between men and women lies.

Oh, why the let media and fashion forbid them to wear skirts.

My partner really loves to go around all day in his bathing-coat on freedays, because of that feeling so good "down there" and is absolute jealous about me being allowed to wear skirts and dresses on hot days. But because of media and fashion he doesnt dare to do so. Why the hell dont you stand up, show fashion rules your backside, and enjoy the freedom a scottish skirt gives you? If its ok for an english king heir, must be as well ok for you. Thats why we all fought for democracy, to have the same rights as royal bastards, so why dont you demand that rights you deserve? ^^

Why they like boobs so much