Shopping/ sensory issues and doing my hair.

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Thank you all, had a shower today, did basic stuff. Got dressed all that, probably won't wear makeup very often if at all. It's such a big effort I think sometimes.

My solution might be a bit extreme, but I find the more I can simplify my life and cut out steps the easier it is. Last year I started shaving my head at home with clippers. I shave my hair to 1/8 inch and let it grow until I can start to see which side I slept on when I wake up, usually about 1/4 inch. My hair grows slowly, so that takes 2 or 3 weeks.

I like having a shaved head because I never get hair tickling my face or in my eyes this way. Also I don't have to go to a stylist. (They always seemed to get at least a little very itchy, short hair down my clothes for me to enjoy on the bus ride home.) Also it allows me to simplify my shower routine. I like to shower daily, and it used to take me a long time. Now I have soap and shampoo, but pick one to use for everything depending how my skin feels.

My hair is pretty long. Someone today suggested I cut it shorter. Not sure if I want to change is hard. Though she said it will be easier to take care of which I know since half the time I don't even brush my hair so it wold be nice, now trying decide how much to cut off seems really stressful though. Any ideas.

I kind of went in phases when I got towards shaving my head. I think a good way to divide the steps is by function. You might not want to cut off too much of your hair at once if you ever run your fingers through your hair or fidget with it when you're stressed. I used to and still do, although exactly what that looks like has changes a bit.

Steps:

1. Getting rid of excess hair weight, but still being able to tie it back. The shorter it is, the faster it will dry. Maybe cut it to your shoulders. If it's really long, it will feel a lot lighter, and that in itself was enough to affect my senses. So I cut it to my shoulders, and let it hang out there for a bit until I got used to it before I went any further. Still had hair to fidget with when I needed it. Going for hair that's not there over and over looks weird in public...

2. Now you have a decision to make. If you cut your hair shorter than a length that can be ponytailed, you won't be able to get it out of your face. I found shorter than able to be tied back but still long enough to get in my eyes to be an awful length. Having a shaved head as a woman takes a bit of boldness and social engineering. I find that if I act and dress like I (at least sort of) absolutely belong at where ever I am, people don't question it. I don't know how they read me as a woman with a shaved head, but I get great behavior from people when I have it shaved. Some possibilities I've considered are that they think I have cancer, that I shaved it for charity (St. Baldrick's), or that I'm an angry punk type. Other than the shaved head I pretty much dress normally. T-shirt and used jeans. I think it levels the playing field. I still work really hard on having appropriate social skills. And then you add I come off as eccentric into the mix. People even tell me I'm really hard to read. Makes them approach me more openly maybe?

But if you don't mind having hair that you can't tie back, then you can cut it to that length.

If you think that would be a problem for you, I'd suggest sticking to the shorter end of how short you can get it before you can't tie it.

3. If you decide to shave your head, a bonus is that rain actually feels kind of awesome. Before it made my long hair feel like a wet mop. And sometimes people pet me like a cat. If I keep a cat's poker face and fake purr through that, I've bonded with friends that way... So... That life as a cat I wanted when I was younger... I'm literally behaviorally one step closer to it. Awesome!

4. A huge downside to hair too short to tie back if you sometimes don't shower every, every day--like if you forget to set your alarm and have to try to get dressed and bike to work in the amount of time it normally takes you to bike there... People can tell if you didn't shower if you have short hair you can't tie back. Unless you have some kind of super awesome stealth hair texture, well, I never got the hang of styling short hair without complete water immersion. The problem doesn't appear until you can't tie it back and doesn't end until it's too short to see which side you slept on. When I had hair at getting in eye length, people assumed I was hung over sometimes I think because I was so bad at my hair.

So, that's just my personal experiences with it. But I hope it helps.

I cut my hair already it's short and apparently it looks good. I don't think I want to shave my head more because I hate the feeling when shaved hair starts to grow in which is why I don't like to shave my legs. So far this is nice . though I hate the itchiness that happens after I get my hair cut and it felt weirder then normal when wet. Though I like being able to run through my hair.

ooo other adventurous grrls! coolios!

i started cutting my own hair with clippers a couple of years ago. I got sick of spending 40-50 bucks to get my hair cut and walking away with sh***y looking hair.

I did pretty well for a while, then botched it and got too chicken to try again. Then I finally got sick of having a big fuzzball on my head and cut it again and botched it again because i had lousy clippers. Yesterday went out and got some decent Wahl's and trimmed it back a little bit. The sides are almost shaved and my bangs are long. It doesn't look good, but it doesn't look TOO terrible. And it will grow out.

Anyway more power to ya pinkgurl. Congrats on taking the plunge and I'm glad you are happy with your handiwork.

i agree long hair is easier in pulling it back is fast and easy. When i had it long, washing it and drying it was the problem, took forever and i don't even blow dry. But I have a solution for short hair when i'm too impatient to style it; I just wear hats. I now LOVE hats. Works when i accidently take a chunk out of the side with bad clippers too

pinkgurl87, Congratulations! I'm glad you like it, too. I hope it works out well for you.

The first and last time I shaved my head with a leg razor instead of clippers I ended up with razor burn all over my head and looked like a sun burnt naked mole rat. It's amazing what a difference a quarter inch of hair makes in how I look. So definitely good call on not going too short on that. I sort of forgot about that awkward minor disaster until now.

Opi, I wish I thought of hats before. I think I'd still prefer the shaved head, but I can see how that would be an amazing solution for the in between lengths. Do you know if it's okay to wear them indoors during the work day? Any other non-optional social conventions on female hat wearing you recommend being aware of? On the day I wake up and can see which side I slept on, that might be a really good option.

Like a lot of you, it takes me a really long time in the shower, too. But that's mostly because my hair is really thick, and it takes a few minutes to get it wet all the way through, then it takes a few minutes to rinse out all of the shampoo. Then it takes me a few minutes to smooth the conditioner through it. I could never shower in 10 minutes. Not unless I did a half-a**ed job and didn't get myself clean properly. (I like to exfoliate every time I take a shower, because I don't feel clean if I don't).
But I also hate wasting water, so when I moved out on my own, I got a shower head with a pause setting on it. But for now, since I'm living with my parents again temporarily, instead of switching back and forth from the showerhead I like, with the pause setting, and the showerhead my brother likes, my mother bought a valve (like this one) to put on the showerhead my brother likes, so we can both use it.
I almost always let my hair air dry. I shower at night, and I let my hair air dry overnight. I hate using a hair dryer because the heat always makes me sweat, and I feel like I need another shower by the time I'm done drying my hair. I hate that.

I'm not at all a girly-girl. I've always been a tomboy. About 99% of the time, I wear jeans, t-shirts and boots.

I HATE MY HAIR

I would pay good money for some gene therapy that made my hair naturally straight. I can deal with the coloring

My hair is wavy and thick. I have tried longer and shorter 'styles', but my hair doesn't like doing what its told

If I could pull off the 'bald' look, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

If my hair is blown around too much in the wind, it can't be brushed back into 'place'.
No amount of hairspray holds it and right now it is pretty short.

I HATE MY HAIR

Sue, if I were you, I'd go to a salon or a beauty school and discuss options. I don't know which is in your budget, but both would be able to tell you what's out there so you can decide on your next step.

thanks, but my hairdresser (of 23 years) has tried it all.

My issues started in 1974 when I was 13.

For anyone old enough to remember 1974, ALL girls wore their hair long and parted in the middle.
I was no exception

My mother decided to have my hair cut and I have NEVER been able to deal with it since.
when it was long, it wasn't as bushy as it is when it's shorter.
I've tried growing it out but it gets wider more than it gets longer

I've had it professionally straightened and the wave is back in 2 weeks.

On the rare 'good hair day', it looks normal for a while, but I hate blowdrying and straightening with a flat iron

At the whiff of humidity, it frizzes up. I have tried every product on the market.

Maybe I'll just get a wig

I know people tend to not like what they were born with. But I avoid situations because of my hair.

As if I didn't have enough mental issues to deal with, I have hair dysfunction too

I'm glad you posted about the hair. I hate drying my hair with the hair dryer. Its a waste of time and energy to me. My nana gives me a very hard time drying it and washing it. I never wash it well enough for her it feels like, even though I have always washed it exactly like she told me and how the hair style ladies, told me about amounts and such.
Arg.

I love how my hair is wavy, and I don't even mind that naturally its a plain brown color. But the way it feels!
And its supposed to be less frizzy if you blow dry it right? But blow drying damages hair unless you put product in it which weighs down the hair! I've only recently learned how to braid hair, but still not very good and I don't have the right hair ties. Which I don't like the feeling of anyways.
I had really short hair for a long time, but I'm told it looks pretty (and see that it does myself), long and down.

I think the advice on washing your hair first is a good one. I always do so with the thinking that way I have the whole rest of the shower to wash it out. Sticking my head under the faucet and such. I recently read that a way to prevent back acne is to not have the water on hot when you put condintioner (sorry my bad spelling) in. Then throw hair forward to its not on our back when you wash it. The thinking being since hot water open pores, the condintioner clugs up the opened pores.

I hope you figure out your shower schedule, lets not waste water!

Yes. As a child I used to hate going into any store; however, I now enjoy going into stores, but only if it sells things that I use and enjoy such as a grocery or fabric store. Just recently I was in a store with my sister and mum that was like a warehouse room attached to a factory. I was looking at some things that I like, and found a cookbook. Eventually, the store was starting to feel uncomfortable, so I looked through the cookbook that I was going to purchase.

Later we started browsing near the checkout because it was almost time to go home. There was a very loud fan over our heads! It was SO time for me to go! I asked if it was time yet, but my mother and sister wanted to look at calendars. I was starting to feel week, but trying to tough it out was the best I could do. Once we got to the checkout, my sister noticed that I looked pale. My vision seemed to be fading, and the sound around me was getting muffled. She took me outside to get some fresh air, and put my head down; after that, the only problem was pins and needles in my fingers. This was the only incident of almost fainting because of a sensory overload, and it just so happened to be at a store.

Even though looks are very important to me, I have also struggled with not rinsing my hair long enough. It has happened many, many times.

One time I even burned off some of my hair just from using a blow-dryer. It has grown back years ago, but I still let my hair dry on it's own. A hairdryer in my hands = danger!

All of you gals sound a lot like me.