I hate being a woman

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I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. It must really hit you hard each month.

That post is really heartbreaking. The fact that you feel so cut-up and regretful about your meltdowns means you're a pretty compassionate person; that's more than I can say for plenty of people who routinely blame others for their outbursts. You shouldn't beat yourself up so much and you certainly do not need these awful thoughts about being shot or removing your ovaries. You are not the worst wife in the world and I'm sure your husband loves you very much.

I've known aspie dudes with anger management issues so I know it's not an exclusively female thing; maybe the female hormones exacerbate your meltdowns but I don't think hating being a woman is mentally healthy. I'm a young man so there's no way I could possibly understand exactly what you go through but I do know what it is like to have an autistic meltdown. The best thing is to communicate well with people after so they can recognise what you're going through next time it happens.

I hear ya. I used to feel the exact same way.

The birth control pills are a good thing to try. They have been enormously liberating for me. I used to have a horrendous monthly cycle that took over my life. My periods were heavy to the point where I was borderline anaemic. They made me feel very sick for almost a week, as well as lethargic for a few days on either side, and - relevant to you - came with dizzying mood swings and other hormonal fun. I now have very light periods, a much more even temper throughout the month and the freedom to plan my life without having to consult my period calendar.

How are you taking your birth control pills? It is possible to skip the inactive pills and not bother with a period at all, which is what I do. I eventually have to have a period after about two months because my body insists on it, but it is always no big deal compared to how things used to be.

I just started on a new pack today. As for skipping blanks, I feel that I shouldn't, because I feel that a period is a reminder that I am not pregnant, especially if I had unprotected sex while on the pill.

Fair enough, just as long as you know you don't have to take the blanks if you don't want to.

Do you think the pill is helping yet?

I feel that they are. My periods have become shorter, and it it slowly, but surely helping with my mood swings.

Where did you get this idea? People are responsible for their own behavior. Whatever your husband did to his mother is his fault, not yours.

The fact that my husband's mom keeps interfering while he tries to cheer me up. I guess that set him off, because I still wasn't feeling emotionally better at the time, he wanted to cheer me up on his own, and that caused him to take it out on his mom. He was never even physical, just emotionally frustrated.

Still not your fault. Also, sounds pretty childish of him.

Yippy, my husband did feel remorseful after what happened. He can be childish, but is otherwise the sweetest man I've known. He is not an abusive person, physically or emotionally. Yes, he does get frustrated at his mom every once in a while, but she is not the most patient person to him. Also, I get frustrated at my mom at times as well, especially over things that could easily be resolved (it could be the same scenario with my husband and his mom).

What I am trying to say is, that we both felt bad about what happened, and wish it never happened.

Are you feeling better?

I, too, wish his mother wouldn't interfere with your husband's life. He's a grown man.

The past few days have been a lot better. The meds are starting to kick in, and my premenstrual phase has long ended. I'm so glad you asked.

When you say you hate being your gender is almost equal to hating yourself and the world you live in.

Gender is a very significant part of who you are, even personality-wise, and your perspective of the world you live in (and how the world perceives you), it's far beyond than simple differences in anatomy.

There's "Gender" in everything, in our languages, in our clothes, in the way people react to us, in dating courtships, in friendships,social expectations, social rules..etc....EVERYTHING, everything. Even here on WP, the way users react to a male member complaining about life do not react the same way to female member doing the same .

A silly instance but very noticeable: when guys are together, they might joke around using obscene terms such "f*** you man", "This f*** awesome!" .... things that they would never say in front of girl - in fact, if they talk like that in front of them some ladies eventually will tell them to mind their language.

There are lot of things that people of one gender talk among themselves exclusively gender-wise, this is why you see some WP members here who get furious on the idea of males posting on women's forum, because it is a breach to this social rule .

Two different worlds, two different dimensions. Norah Vincent, the author of Self-Made Man, discovered this very well (And she eventually preferred the Women world btw).

And this isn't changing anytime soon.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 25 Nov 2015, 2:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

before menopause, i had PMS. i used to get a lower grade in a grading time frame that included more menses. i found that the things i got upset about during my period were things that actually really bothered me and i was just able to blow them off at other times. this helped me advocate for myself in between times when i could say what i need without undue emotion.

i don't hate being female. it was a disadvantage when i studied and practiced medicine, but it also helps me connect with people.

my husband does his share of the housework, though. maybe you need to talk with your guy when you're feeling better, to see if he can't help even things out. sounds like you need more alone time and he's the one who can help you arrange that. you're definitely not a bad person or you wouldn't care when you melt down. also, your husband picking on his mom is ALL on him, not on you. you're not that powerful.

Good to hear!

I often do get alone time, especially when my husband is at work. I would spend time reading, playing video games, and spending time with my cats. On Wednesdays, my mom would pick me up, and we would have lunch together and go places.