How to deal with looking like a child when I'm an adult
Anyway, that's how what was supposed to be the best years of my life were wasted and ruined. If you think you have it bad, remember that someone always has it worse. I'm in my 40's now, and I have to look forward to is my body shutting down.
Whoa, this response is really uncalled for. The OP was asking for advice about one particular issue, not to compare who has had it worse in life. If you want to talk about how life was for you at 23, why not start your own thread instead of hijacking this one?
It actually is a real problem for a person to be mistaken for being much younger than he/she actually is. It has caused others to treat me with less respect, because they assume I'm too young to know what I'm talking about or doing. It's often assumed that I'm not the mother of my child. In general, the lack of respect is the real problem.
I can always get out my ID if I'm carded, but I don't like being looked at suspiciously if I'm trying to buy alcohol. In the past, I have complained and most people's response is, "You should feel happy, just wait until you're older, and you will be grateful that you look so young. " That may be true, but right now I look a little bit too young, and it does cause me some frustration at times.
One trick for looking more like an adult is to walk as if you have somewhere important to go.
Also... I don't want to be gauche, but do you have much of a figure? If you can select clothes that show a little more (cleavage, a small waist and developed hip, things like that) you will at least look like late teens instead of 12. If you are a trifle on the underdeveloped side, a padded bra might pay off for you.
I'm pretty sure you can find some clothes that are comfortable while also looking more grown up. Instead of just a tee, maybe a v-neck tee in a navy or dark brown. Avoid tees with graphic prints. Do something with your hair. Make sure your clothes are not wrinkled - dress as though going to work. Maybe you can find a comfortable knit pant that is a step up from pure yoga pant.
You might also try accessorizing. Jewelry, handbags, scarves.
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A finger in every pie.
Oh, wow, you too? I'm 40 years old, and I still get people thinking I'm way younger. I know some of mine is because I have a baby face, which is hereditary - my dad got called "young man" when he was a CMSGT in his 40s.
I dress about the same as you do (t-shirts and jeans), and I'm barely 5'1, so I know that's part of it. I think the height is the main thing. I'm very big up top, and I'd think that would clue people in to the fact I'm an adult, but I think everyone focuses on height.
Sometimes hair styles make people think you're younger than you are. Younger women tend to wear their hair longer and I have waist length hair. I also don't perm it or using any styling products, and that also seems to make people think "young."
Also... I don't want to be gauche, but do you have much of a figure? If you can select clothes that show a little more (cleavage, a small waist and developed hip, things like that) you will at least look like late teens instead of 12. If you are a trifle on the underdeveloped side, a padded bra might pay off for you.
I'm pretty sure you can find some clothes that are comfortable while also looking more grown up. Instead of just a tee, maybe a v-neck tee in a navy or dark brown. Avoid tees with graphic prints. Do something with your hair. Make sure your clothes are not wrinkled - dress as though going to work. Maybe you can find a comfortable knit pant that is a step up from pure yoga pant.
You might also try accessorizing. Jewelry, handbags, scarves.
No figure. I need to find a padded bra that doesn't make me itch-maybe the wiring does it?
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The world is backwards and upside down. So far they show no signs of hearing my voice; I am silenced and discounted yet I continue to shout until I can shout no more.
As far as hair goes I am biracial and I usually keep it in a bun. Was relaxing it for awhile. Maybe I should go back to that although it's expensive.
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The world is backwards and upside down. So far they show no signs of hearing my voice; I am silenced and discounted yet I continue to shout until I can shout no more.
I understand that changing your behaviors (like speech or posture) can be tedious and seem like the demands are placed on you. But, after a while, changed behaviors begin to seem natural. They end up becoming part of you.
I have a hard time pinpointing specific behaviors or maybe I'm not aware at the time I'm doing them. I know one is my toe walking but I've been told I'd need surgery to lengthen my tendon because I've done that for so long.
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The world is backwards and upside down. So far they show no signs of hearing my voice; I am silenced and discounted yet I continue to shout until I can shout no more.
Adding to the comments about height, yes this has a lot to do with it. People just tend to associate short stature with children, even when it makes no logical sense to do so. Even when people understand well enough that an adult with dwarfism is actually an adult, they are still prone to treating them like a child.
In the western world, a height under 4'10" is technically considered dwarfism.
In the western world, a height under 4'10" is technically considered dwarfism.
Yes, people who know me and know my age still treat me differently than other adults.
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The world is backwards and upside down. So far they show no signs of hearing my voice; I am silenced and discounted yet I continue to shout until I can shout no more.
Between the ages of about 12 and 15, I got mistaken for being older than I was. I think this was because of the way I spoke, having quite a deep voice, being tall, having an unfashionable haircut and wearing what were at the time terribly unfashionable clothes (though now they would be quite trendy). Then when I got into my late teens people started thinking I was a few years younger than I actually was. I went to an event at a university when I was 23 and people said they knew I couldn't be a student there as I was too young, they thought I was 15/16. I am 34 now and most people think I am under 25. It is annoying as people act extremely patronising towards me, including medical professionals. I get asked for ID when buying 0% beer.
If this is true, perhaps you'd consider wearing some heeled footwear, which should make you slightly taller and which also is more "grown-up." It needn't be a drastic change, even a 3/4" heel will have some effect.
Personally, I just never could get used to heels, which at 5'7" was no big deal. I'm too ungainly and clumsy to wear them without falling over. (Although judging by some blooper footage I have seen of runway models, I'm not the only one!)
I thought of this conversation when I was in a department store today. There really is a difference in the kinds of jewelry that older and younger women wear. I think selecting some pieces that are older may help you. A brooch (pin) used to secure a scarf will make you look older, for instance. I would opt for necklaces that are a little more substantial, rather than little chains with a tiny pendant ... something along the lines of a "statement" necklace.
If you have a gal pal or even your mother you could enlist in this effort, it might even become fun! I hope so.
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A finger in every pie.
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