Things I have learned in life about being female

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The taking up space thing is a power issue. It's common for someone who wants to take charge to stretch out their arms and legs while sitting. Women can do this in a ladylike manner as well Also when you meet a man you should extend your hand to shake. When they take it, give them a real handshake and not a limp one. You have to squeeze. Hard for you, and don't wince when they squeeze back. The more space they take up, the more you take up or simply tell them to get off the high horse.

Well, here's the biggest thing I have learned about being female, and I won't even put it on the list with a number because this one probably underlies all of them and applies to all aspects of life. Being female means giving and giving and receiving very little in return, being taken for granted and unappreciated.

I plan on continuing my list to describe other specific messages I've gotten. This is sort of therapeutic for me, because I'm trying to understand deeply why I have hormonal issues and problems with my menstrual cycle. I feel like deep down I'm at odds with being female. It's not that I would have preferred to be male, physically, or would want to have a sex change or anything like that. It's because I dislike the messages I get about being female, and I feel like males often get the upper hand.

It's different for you and I. When women cross their legs they press them both together and intertwine them which as the affect of making their lower body narrower but when we men cross our legs they barely touch, one leg stays vertical but the other leg crosses over it sideways, this has the effect of making our lower bodies wider. When someone sits next to me on the train I have to uncross my legs so that I take up less space.

Anyway, I think the OP is right about men taking up more space. I'm 6'2, have broad shoulders and a large frame. I take up a lot of space whether I like it or not. A woman of light build would take up half as much space as me.

raised in a relative gender-role free family, that got re-directed suddenly when bringing home a potential bf, suddenly....it's brought down to chosing for or against dad, wtf
maybe that was also honest in a way, compared to lifelong snarkremarks of mothers in law

when I got placed for a little while in a ;;family, that father insisted on cuddling which i absolutely wouldn't have, so got dumped there too! for not being cooperative!

It's true, in the most literal sense, men generally have larger bodies than women. However I also notice that some men take up a lot more space then needed in the way they walk and move around, and/or take a really dominant position within a space. That's what has given me the most negative messages. For instance, when I'm shopping, I notice that men with large bodies will walk right down the middle of the aisle in a way that makes it difficult to pass beside them. Sometimes they seem unaware of this, but other times they are staring me down in a way that makes me feel like they are doing it on purpose. I feel like they expect me to just shrink away to the side to let them pass.

Women sometimes take up space like that too, but usually it's 2 or more women who insist on walking side by side and neither one will yield to walk behind the other. lol Interesting stuff.

I think it might help you to evaluate your posture, facial expressions, and body language. There are azzholes out there (men and women, though they express it in different ways) who enjoy subtly dominating submissive-looking people in public places. If you're often feeling pushed around (literally or figuratively) perhaps there are things you can do to appear less a target.
Also, as a woman I've noticed there are certain items of clothing you can wear to command respect. If you wear a large, expensive-looking watch, carry a designer purse, or add a colorful scarf to your outfit, it will change the way both female and male strangers interact with you. Is it incredibly shallow of them? Yes. But that's the way the NT world works, and you can use their prejudices to your advantage. Wearing a pair of sunglasses on top of your head like a hairband also works.

This happens to me too. People underestimate how much space I need becuase I'm thin. I am agile so can turn to my side, but I'm having to slip though narrow spaces the whole time.

Honestly I think this is more to do with body shape than sex. Watch people walking pass on the street. People give old people, disabled and larger people more space.



If I need a space between my leg it is becuase I'm uncomfortable, i try not to take up too much space. These men that take up space, they take it up from other men too. You are gernalising about men.



This is more genralisation.



Again I encounter this from men and women every day. Tip: Look to the side or at you phone. Although I dislike when people do this, it is technique people use to avoid having to get out of the way as you have to avoid them. However actually looking at you phone during walking, is poor self defense even though people are constantly doing it.



Honestly most people just want to go about their business. I only hold a door open for anybody is the door is weighted or the door has a latch, as both of use will have to pass eventually. It is often awkward especially narrow weighted doors.



The person that way oblivious to my personal space holds the door open to the shop I'm going into, becuase one of us needs to keep it open even though they are probably blocking it in the process. been in either position all the time. I'm not trying to be near to them.



This is a "democratic" activity, nobody is immune from it. People can be personal at times. Women rib men and women. Men rib men and women. In fact I happen to think that same sex ribbing tend to be more common in my experience and least in their presence.

Last edited by 0_equals_true on 14 May 2016, 6:58 pm, edited 2 times in total.

What part of the rules prevents this?

I think it reasonable to comment on perceptions of experiences.

Especially if you are in the demographic being talked about.

Are generalisations helpful?

Maybe men in my surroundings are more civilized that I personally hardly recall any occasions in which I felt the same way as OP. So I basically conclude that men act differently from place to place.

You know, I really resent that we can't have these kinds of threads (about women's problems that are mostly caused by men), without dozens of guys coming out of the woodworks to say "not all men are like that!"

Okay, maybe you're not like that, do you want a freakin' medal?

Are you talking to me?

The rules are clear, if a post is marked Women only it is primarily expecting women only posts. However men aren't excluded from posting in the women's section.

This is not a private blog site.

If people want to post genralised Buzzfeed type articles, then they should expect people to comment on them.

It is perfectly reasonable if a group is talking about a demographic to be able to comment on it, especially if they belong to that demographic.

The concept of using this section as a barrier to discussion has been brought up. I have discussed this with moderators, it is not tolerated as a tactic.

Eh? No. I was talking nonspecifically to all the men in this thread saying that it's an "unfair generalization."

Sexism is actually against the rules.

However I want this thread to stand, and I'm only interested in discussion not disruption.

It would be good if we don't resent each other. Resentment is overrated.

I don't see anyone being sexist.