Why do women lose their special interests?

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I didn't have just autistic women in mind. The one who used to draw wasn't on the spectrum and the others besides the one my aunt introduced me to were not either. The autistic women I know are very varied. One is such a strong Christian that she thinks atheism is bad and didn't like John Lennon for supposedly being one (I don't know if he was or not). Another is a Christian and her parents won't let her have male friends or even date despite being 30. I used to know one who was into Wicca and gothic things but I lost contact with her because she and her boyfriend kept falling on hard times. Another one liked anime as well as manga and did drawings but I wasn't allowed to hang out with her outside our support group events because I was an adult and she was a minor; I lost contact with her as well. I knew one who wasn't very social and decided to become an internet hermit. My first and only real girlfriend had Aspergers and she liked some of the same things I did but not very indepthly (Not a knock on her). A girl I used to hang out with considered Pokemon as well as hentai to be her "passions" but one day did a complete 180 and said she hated everything she used to like out of nowhere.

I never said I couldn't be friends with someone who didn't share every single one of my interests. That is a bad assumption you've made about me. Just one or two is good enough. If there are no common interests at all, the conversation tends to die. I'll wrack my brain to try to come up with something but then the other person will be looking away and soon move on.

You're damn right it sucks. I hate having to wait for months to see a band I like (Sometimes the wait will be in vain because the band might play too late or they'll only play at a city that's too far away) and I have nowhere cool to hang out after a crappy day at work. I usually just go home because I don't know what else to do with myself. I don't want a female clone of myself. I just want someone to have atleast one or two of the same special interests. I also feel like the only way I'll ever have another girlfriend is through a good friendship because cold approaching, internet dating, and speed dating do not work for me.

I bet you're into bioluminescence, Seaweed!

That's so cool.

The deep sea is probably about as well known as the moon.

^i used to live in rural new hampshire! i live in the midwest corn plains now and there are more options for meeting people here but i miss mountains and substantial snow and home tapped maple syrup

Whoa! NH is the best place to be!

Wouldn't it be funny if we went to the same schools and everything

after reading your response i realize i was too antagonistic and i apologize for assuming you were not thinking about women as full people. i think i got that impression from how you posed your question, like women "losing" their special interests as opposed to women "changing" their special interests. that and the way you talk about women in the bible belt being shallow. but it's good to hear that you don't actually harbor such resentments.

i definitely understand how hard it can be to make connections with people without the aid of special interests, but i've also found out that at least in NT land even people who share those interests with me don't respond to info dumping past a point. in my mind pouring information onto someone who shares my special interest makes complete sense if i want to be friends with them, but that has actually only worked with a few people who are in all likeliness on the spectrum themselves and poured information on me right back.

maybe thinking about some different ways to approach connections with people would be beneficial, like instead of wracking your brain to come up with more things to talk about, ask her what she's been getting into lately. i think asking open questions can help with creating more space to converse in.

I'm very sorry you can't find anyone who likes your music and what you like. My special interest are fashion, reptiles (mainly pythons and rosy boas), home decor, Vocaloid, the Victorian era and cold cases.

I live in rural New Hampshire and it is very hard to meet people, namely other women who enjoy what I enjoy.

I accept your apology. Trust me, I do not feel like women are subhuman at all. In fact, I was given flack by other guys for not seeing women as sex toys (They used a different term but it's too disgusting to type out) and my older brother ridiculed me for wanting a nerdy or geeky girlfriend (Still do). He's left me alone about that recently but he told me he thinks his wife's interests are "ret*d".

I'll have to respond to the rest of your message later because I am short on time at the moment.

was it fuckmeat?? lol. i love how disgustingly degrading that term is.
your brother sounds like kinda an as*hole

These people are sleazebags. I visited a tennis forum where there were a lot of these disgusting individuals who talked about what they would do to certain players in the most degrading terms. I have stopped visiting that site altogether. It turned into a Rafael Nadal hate site and one of degrading filth.

That's disgusting! Why, in this day and age do people still talk like that? It's ridiculous.

Marknis, I have a question. Where you live is it socially unacceptable for women to play video games? Just curious because I love video games.

By the way, I'm originally from part of The Bible Belt (North Carolina) and I'm so glad my Mom, sibling and myself left. I didn't fit in there and finding friends let alone friends on the spectrum was impossible.

I'm serious though, that phrase is horrific!

Your guess is as good as mine but it is indeed disgusting.

Yes and no. Depending on the circle, it's either ok as long as it's something like The Sims and cellphone games; a subgroup would be ones who like violent games but they get labeled as "freaks" outside their circle or it's completely unacceptable. I know that the women my mother associates with never talk about video games unless it's in regard to their children's interests and they think all video games are FPS games. But in general, video games are seen as a male interest here and depending on the audience, it's either "cool" or "nerdy". Jocks and thugs love FPS games because they feed into the "bro" mentality and those are the "cool" games but if someone likes RPG games he is a "nerd" who is also a virgin and showers only once a week.

Sadly, with a few exceptions, women in the Bible Belt tend to not care for video games. I think the root of it is gender roles and expectations. Women are expected to be silent and subservient while men are expected to be loud and to take lead. I think gender roles need to be thrown in the trash and people should be viewed as individuals.

BTW, on another forum I used to post on, there were a lot of men who loved video games and comics but hated nerdy or geeky girls. Some of them also had this idea the Bible Belt is some sort of utopia where women bow down and perform oral sex to men on command. WTF?!? The harsh truth (for them) is that even the most subservient Bible Belt woman would not go near them, especially if they knew their hobbies, and because they don't have a pretty boy or macho look and don't have a six figure income (A lot of them say they are out of shape or overweight and are lacking in money), they don't qualify in their eyes.

Good to know it's not just me who can see the horrorifying reality of this place.

I can't even say it seriously. It's so gross and dumb sounding!

I haven't played Disgaea in a long time but thank you for the reminder about it! How often do you play the games and which one is your favorite? How far can you get in them, by the way? I usually just get the good ending and do some post game stuff but I've never got everything 100% done because the amount of things to do induces analysis paralysis.

Don't worry, I wouldn't make that assumption about you. It's just the jocks and thugs who think that. I don't play Heroes of Might or Magic but I understand getting the devil worshipper accusation because I like metal and punk and it's stereotypically considered "devuhl's mewsick".

Thank you and I wish I could do the same as well!