Women 'not getting along'

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Now I find most women hard to talk to because I always feel like I'm going to do or say the wrong thing that will be offensive.

I think most guys, whether gay or straight, don't get as easily offended and with them you can just kind of cut up and be yourself. Assuming they accept you for what you are.

Anyone can be cruel, TW1Z, just as anyone can be kind. Gender isn't a determining factor, but it's true that with women it is normally more insidious and psychological. This isn't to say I have no female friends. Of course I do, just as I have male friends. I've been maid-of-honour and watched a friend give birth. There are beautiful women on the planet, just as there are amazing men. It's the generalisations that I don't like, against any person regardless of their gender presentation.

There are not so nice people in both genders. It's just that men and women usually bully people differently. If a man wants to hurt someone, he usually gets physical or starts loud insulting. Women on the other hand are more subtle, talking behind people's backs and such. This might partly be because in many cultures it's more socially acceptable for men to be openly hostile than it is for women.

Anyone can be bullies.

Men don't have the term 'frenemy'. In my experience that's because a guy is more likely to be an eniend? (trying to come up with a new word for enemy friend) than a frenemy. To pretend to hate the other guy but really like him rather than pretend to like him but really hate him.

This frenemy stuff is (I'm just going to be aspie and blunt about this) really NT, isn't it?

I suppose women have had to develop manipulative strategies in order to survive, males being the stronger sex physically. A cunning plan or psychological warfare always seems much more underhand and devious than a good punchup.

I have experienced unbelievable cruelty and spite among women, not as the victim but as an observer. I have also experienced it in men on a personal level but that was much more exposed and obvious. There are good and bad in both genders and all neurodiversities I would imagine.

Agreed with earlier posts. Power and fear of being in the out group feeds the catty behaviour, it seems delusional at times, yet still is a response to the environment.

Same for men and women, I think.

TW1Z, as an example I'm reflecting on your thread about Melania. It was interesting that she was belittled as being a poor role model (because she is devoted to her son who may be autistic, and tries to avoid the political spotlight), and she was teased for being a former model (being thin, appearing too pretty or superficial, having money). Members also insinuated that she is uneducated, and a gold-digger who controls her marriage / husband by withholding sexual favours, much like a prostitute. She was defined, judged and insulted for her physical attributes because they differ from Michelle Obama's. I think in this case, the proof is in the pudding for what you'd like to know about women's catty and judgemental treatment of their own gender.

I'm tired of left wing women who hate Melania (or any other woman) based on who they're married to. Nobody hated Dennis Thatcher based on that or whoever (see case in point that idk his name) it was that was Theresa May's husband.

I mean part of it is that America has a culture of a 'first lady' in the first place. Unless someone is in politics herself she shouldn't be part of it. Ivanka should be open to criticism, not Melania. But I wonder if Clinton had got into office, whether there would have been as much talk/the same sort of talk (about if he's a good granddad or about his looks) about Bill. And especially if a woman with a non political husband does, will we gossip about him as much as an apolitical first lady gets gossiped about?

Just because I don't like Donald doesn't mean I hate Melania, I don't have an opinion about her.

Exactly, TW1Z. Women are often judged and appraised by other women for their looks, their education, their sexual history, their parenting and their financial status among other reasons. Any of these characteristics can be deemed too much or too little. I don't find that men judge women as harshly, even with regard to appearance, as other women. Women seem to be intent on creating a subconscious social hierarchy, using other females as their stepping stones to self-esteem.

My grandmother was a fashion model in California and I'm still judged when I
say that. People don't realise she was also an astute businesswoman and a clothing designer. She worked as a model because my grandfather was an engineer who moved companies. They had many children and she was able to persue her career to help her husband support the family, wherever they moved.

Likewise, I like to wear skirts because in my opinion, they are very comfortable. I can't tell you how many times I've been judged by other women as being anti-feminist, a traitor of women's rights, and /or a frigid and conservative prude. It's been insinuated that my clothing choices are determined by patriarchal oppression, which is as insulting as it is ill-informed.

Sorry for the rant! I'm waiting to see my (female) dentist who is running late.