Female Autism Phenotype

Post Reply New Topic

Well written, Hero. ^

Doctors need to be held to a higher standard about neurodiversity sensitivity, whether it's for men, women, or transgendered / NB patients. I had a major stroke but the emergency doctor thought I was drunk or on drugs, because of my then-undiagnosed autism. He was very sarcastic with me and tried to send me home because I didn't "stroke" correctly for a man or a woman. Ironically, it was a nurse who had an autistic son who convinced him to send me for MRI. As a result, I have issues with doctors who make snap judgment calls against our character just because we don't act "normal". I endured the same garbage treatment in my year-long stroke rehab program because I didn't recover "normally" or start acting like an NT in my speech, PT, or social work sessions.

Teachers weren't much better and I don't think it had anything to do with the fact I was a girl. I know many of us can relate to years of bullying and being ostracised so I don't even need to give examples. I grew up in the 70s/80s and I can think of several boys who were probably autistic as well, but they didn't get any services either. Actually, I did get referred to speech therapy for my mutism. Some of the likely-autistic boys were in my speech class but none of us were flagged as having a developmental disability.

It's frustrating to think I'm not a normal human or a normal woman (e.g., NT), and now autism researchers suggest I'm not even a normal ND woman -- because I didn't learn to mask and I wasn't brainwashed to follow a social script for girls. I never bought into any of that malarkey and even if I did, I know I wouldn't have fooled anyone.

Ah ok, I understand. Things have swung too far the other way.

There was so much fighting to get more female symptoms of heart attacks recognised and female autistic traits recognised and so on that the issue is that medical staff etc have swung to hard into this is only how women present symptoms.

Typical.

I'll tell you why this pricked a nerve. My aunt totally can't accept that I am on the spectrum because although I'm not high masking I am quiet and follow social rules to an extent, whereas her diagnosed daughter is more "unruly". Older adults like it when you're polite and quiet.

I always liked rules because it gave me stability. I was a "good kid" at school, so completely flew under the radar.

Though to be fair I was really overconfident and had that classic male autism arrogance which should have been a big flag in high school. I quit my work experience week because it was boring for example, which totally shocked my teachers. I just didn't see the point of it.

I do relate to articles I've read on "female" autism. If we pretend there isn't a bucket that women like me fit into, I still get lost.

The thing is I'm not a high masker. I'm quiet and avoid people because I really don't enjoy talking to people in general. People think I'm nice because I don't tell them what I'm thinking. Is that masking?

Same as any typing: True for some, not all. It should be applied where it fits and not overapplied. I am glad there is attention to alternate presentations that many women, some men and some gender-fluid or non-binary folks experience. My ASD mom, myself, BFF and daughter are all the "well-behaved" type. Pros and Cons. We are considered "too" nice or quiet (but like hurtloam said, not really --- hurloam, yes, I believe it is masking ---self-censoring to be sure; I'm working on expressing, asserting myself more in this area in an NT "acceptable" way).

Ooh, then maybe I was misdiagnosed then.

Who knows?

Maybe you're not autistic, after all.

But it doesn't matter to me whether you're autistic or not. You're Joe. That's all that matters.

Ahh this is terrifying. I am a high masker in medicolegal situations, but it's broken very occasionally. This worries me.



Relatable. I already didn't feel Like The Other Girls because of the autism (and that's newly problematized.) Now I don't even feel Like The Other ND Girls. People already suspected I was autistic when I was 4. They continued to suspect I was autistic well into my childhood, until around 12. And the only thing I really did to change anything, was get modelling lessons for a while and practice my walk. People later started thinking I was on drugs instead, but not autistic.

I went into denial about my autism for over a decade and a half because of someone who had part of the more "female associated" presentation (high sensitivity, highly emotional, the mask/burnout cycle, etc) who thought I was just an emotionless, empathy-less a$$hole and thought my diagnosis couldn't possibly be correct.

But. I did get to experience the mask/burnout cycle after that, when i decided to try to brainwash myself to be Like The Other Girls! Yay...?

Also: I've been policed even harder by non-normie women who are trying to fit, such as high masking autistic women, than I've been by normies who already DID fit.

This sex-differential autistic phenotype theory may be mainly used to explain the gender differences in the number of autistic diagnoses - to arouse attention to the diagnosis of female autism. （The latter, of course, suffered a certain degree of damage because the subjects of previous studies were mainly boys.）
So this is an argument with good social motivation. But that doesn't mean it must be more correct.

The theory that physiological men have more extreme phenotypes (In other words, flattened bell curves) than physiological women is more convincing. (The existence of barr's body may be one of its important causes.)
When this effect acts on the autism spectrum, we will see more physiological male autism that meets the diagnostic criteria in a statistical sense.


Personally, I also believe that it is the distinction between high masking and low masking instead of male and female - although, statistical, the highest point of the bell curve of physiological male and female may fall in different horizontal coordinates - due to a mixture of innate and acquired factors.
But it is difficult to carry out quantitative research to verify.

I'm sorry @laevateinn that you feel isolated. I know how it feels to never fit in. A misfit among misfits, am I right?

There's nothing solid about autism - male or female. We have at least 3 of us in my family affected (and 4 if you count my ex-husband), and we all present in different ways. I have multiple cousins, nieces and nephews with autism and no one is exactly the same.

Both my ex-husband and I were able to "mask" or fly under the radar, and we're different genders - so it's not just women that mask; however, men are allowed to be introverted or jerks and that's normal behavior according to our society. It doesn't matter if they're ND or NT.

Masking is developed through various means and experiences. I remember my best friend (who was a boy) told me I couldn't like green because it was a boy color, so I stopped telling people green was my favorite color. I wanted a chemistry set, but instead I was given a freaking Barbie doll for Christmas (who I later hung from the ceiling in protest). I was raised in an ultra-religious area of Utah where girls were expected to behave a certain way and it wasn't just my family who groomed me, but the entire congregation.

The bottom line is it comes down to gender roles and what society deems acceptable for a gender.
I wouldn't say I'm feminine or masculine. I don't identify with either of those societal traits. I feel my behaviors and traits are pretty gender neutral in that aspect. My daughter's the same way.

As far as empathy (both ND and NT), empathy is most often taught. No one in my birth family showed empathy, so I'm one of the unlucky few born with high empathy and let me tell you... it's rough. It makes you always feel bad and hopeless about "humanity" and the future. You can't shut it off. At the same time, that's the biggest reason I never thought I had autism - because of my extreme empathy (and I do mean extreme).

But my son had to be taught empathy.

Anyway, it's hard to discuss or explain via a message board. You could try coming to our online support group. We have people with various "symptoms" and ages. DM me if you're interested and I'll send you a link.