"women dont (really) want sex"

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I really do not reveal, and I'm leery, but I have been sexually abused as a child. For whatever reason(s), I never correlated that abuse as sex. Abuse is abuse, not love/sex. Big difference. Even though I was just a teenager, very naive, I somehow separated this in my mind. Good thing, I guess. But I do understand females (or males) that associate sex with hurt. I am very anxious, in general, and I would only choose a male who is strong, safe, older - otherwise, I wouldn't even be attracted. I think I have a personality type. I need/want security. I hope it's ok I wrote this.

I've often wondered this myself as I am a closet perv who's busting to come out.

From a personal event I had a few guy friends I was hanging out with and one discussion led into turn ons and turn offs. So I joined in and shared what my perverted turn ons were. Ironically all of them giggled with a yeah right you women aren't into that. At that point I felt a little embarassed like I must be an idiot espeacially saying what I did in front of some good looking guys.

As for sex, I think women and men are wired differently. For women sex doesn't just involve sex. I'll hear women say they just want to get laid with no strings attached the same thing you would hear from a guy. Yet later, I'll hear unsurprisingly the same woman who has shared that story many times before of complaint that the guy they automatically got with didn't call or even show up. This to me says that most women, whether they like it or not want some emotional connection as well as sexual. I think many men don't have a problem with getting laid in terms of emotions involved. But that's not saying all guys are like this, just the majority of the time I'll hear as well as see in WP posts of guys casually talking about getting some hoho jobs or the actual thing by an escort or....let's just say someone who sells short and then leave it to that as it is an obscure legitimate business trade.

In relation to the myth, I really don't believe at least logistically that the majority of women are out there plotting in parties to invoke wrath among men by pretending to be uninterested in sex or perversion unless you're going back in time in which women were usually looked down upon in a society that didn't see it as decent. However, in this day and age, it could be just be an individual thing among the conspirators, but I only speak for myself. I often get and feel akward about sharing my own perversions as it doesn't share the same fantasy as a guy's per se. When I do, I don't usually get many responses and when I do, it's usually just a joke. It kind of feels freaky when I don't find many others of my gender talk about or post about their own perversions openly which makes it a little harder to have someone or in general anyone to relate with. In contrast, I find many guys posting and relating the same kinds of perversions reverse the gender as though they were casual as a conversation. So I really don't know what that's about unless it's an aspie thing.

What I was really curious in knowing is if AS affected your sexuality. I myself am disconnected when it comes to sex. I like it, but have no strong desire for it. I do it and it's fun but at the same time I could easily go without it. I was wondering if others felt the same way. I find that I think too much during it and get distracted!

It's the Madonna complex. Historically, women were supposed to be pure. They were the "fairer" sex, with no thoughts of animalistic desires. When a man wed, they were "buying" something new and unused.

Only whores and prostitutes enjoyed sex. Hence we call women sluts and so on. Society is still mired in the past. We see men who spread their seed as manly, and women who have multiple partners as whores.

It's fuelled by religion, society and even the media. The good girl is the one who isn't interested. The madonna.

As a lesbian, we don't suffer from this foolishness. We love sex, enjoy it, and don't have a problem with admitting it. Multiple partners isn't looked down on at all.

Think of it as a male thing. They still want something untouched and if defiling is to be done, they want to do it.

...I think it also has to do with a change in society's attitude towards the sexual pleasure women should experience. If you go back a few generations, you find a lot of accounts of women who were just used by their husbands for reproduction and satisfaction. In many cases, very little consideration or importance was placed on the wife's enjoyment of the activity so naturally a lot of women wouldn't enjoy sex. Now a days, guys care more about the female orgasm and satisfying their partner.

Granted, I'm just gathering this from a lot of literature I've read, but it seems to be consistant about the male attitudes of that era.

Oh man, sex is great! I love it, good workout, analgesic (no pun intended haha), relaxing, and if you get the right partner, fun! It shouldn't be so serious, have a little fun in the bedroom.

Variety is the spice of life!