How to decrease one's sex drive?

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Have you asked your Gyn to run blood tests on you to see if you have too high testosterone? Sometimes women can get PCOS which raises their T level too high for a woman.

I don't think you mentioned your age, but are you anywhere nearing middle age? Approaching 40 has been a God-send I have to tell you. It's nice no longer feeling that urge to find a mate and not giving a darn about it.

I'm 29. All the older women in my family have gone through menopause late (circa 60 years of age), and most have conceived and given birth throughout their 40's without any kind of fertility treatments or anything. This is on both sides of my family. So I expect it will be the same for me.

I'll ask my doctor about the possibility of having a high T level. My father has a rare disorder that causes his body to produce too much testosterone, and he has taken meds for it, but I don't know what it's called or if it can be inherited and affect females. I would think that high T levels would create obvious physical abnormalities, but in my father's case, the effects seemed to be solely neurological, so I guess I could have inherited some disorder that causes T to reach high levels in the brain without affecting the rest of the body.

I searched the web. It was a real eye-opener what doctors have found in the past to do to women. Kind of makes me sorry to be a man.

Yes, Ragtime, that's exactly how it is for me. I don't really like having sex outside of a committed relationship either. But if I go long enough without sex (even if I masturbate), it becomes painful. It's a kind of mild, constant physical discomfort that's hard to describe. Simultaneously, my thoughts about sex grow more intense, and, tbh, my standards get a little lower.

Also, when I don't have sex on a regular basis, I'm a lot more prone to anxiety, and I'm less confident, and I feel more socially awkward.

At that point, whether I give in and have casual sex with a friend or not, it still sucks because it's such a big distraction from everything else that life has to offer. I don't want to look at people and have part of my mind automatically assess their attractiveness - I want to be completely free of such superficial nonsense.

Sex in a committed relationship, however, is great! That's why I'm not seeking a permanent solution.

I don't normally post in the womens forum, but I have no use for a sex drive, I feel addicted to porn, I have no interest in people socially, etc.

I know a lot of women well past the change and they still have the same drive as they had before so that shouldn't be a generalization. About 80% of sex is in the mind and 20% between your legs. As long as you've got a good mind you should have good sex. That of course is all dependent on partners and situations as we've already touched on.

Yes, and I've known men who reported a that their sex drive began to decrease when they got into their 40's. In fact, every 40-something-year-old man with whom I've been intimate has had a lower sex drive than me and has said that his sex drive was higher when he was younger. None of them could do it more than once a day.

Even men in their 30's seem to find sex more tiring than men in their 20's. I remember back in the college days, it was normal for me and my then bf to have sex and then get right up and go do something else. We did this about 3 times per day on average. It was only the extra long sessions that made us want to nap afterwards.

Now it's been a long time since I've been with a man in his twenties, so I basically expect men to fall asleep for at least an hour after sex. And I've gotten used to doing it more than once in a day being a rare occasion. It doesn't matter much to me - I care more about other qualities in a partner.

In fact, that's one of the reasons I want to learn how to decrease my sex drive. If I find a great guy with a lower sex drive, I don't want him to ever feel inadequate, like he can't keep up with me, or please me enough or something. I would hate for that to be an issue in an otherwise good relationship.

I've been trying to redirect the sexual energy into other things, like creative projects.

You've been seeing whimps or sissys or guys who have some other types of 'issues' as they like to say nowadays. You need to get out more often and get new friends.

I was meaning that male sexual performance in all but a few instances is almost 90% brain (there are medical conditions but not being addressed here) so some guys can go for longer or do it more often in sequence than others because mentally the idea of having sex turns on different brain switches. Sooner or later you will probably meet a guy who is in sync with your own sexual wavelength.