Curious about women's thoughts in general...

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I'd want proof.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/articl ... sible.html

Many men have the though that once they get a vasectomy they won't be able to get anyone pregnant. They may be adamant that a woman claiming to be pregnant by them is mistaken. While this isn't a regular occurrence, it does happen in a small number of cases. If you want to reduce your chances of having this happen to you then you need to continue reading.

In most instances your doctor will tell you to use a form of birth control for a specific period of time after you get a vasectomy. It is very important that you follow such instructions to reduce the chances of a pregnancy occurring. It takes time for the vasectomy to successfully stop the sperm from being able to fertilize an egg during sexual intercourse.

The span of time it takes to get past this risk is generally two or three months. You will need to schedule an appointment with your doctor to test your sperm count. You will need to continue using the forms of birth control until you have a sperm count of zero. Even if it is as low as one you can still end up getting someone pregnant after having a vasectomy.

Before you commit to the surgery, your doctor should inform you that not all vasectomies are effective. It is possible for the vas deferens to grow back together. Your risk of this occurring is 1 in 1,000. This is the number one reason why some men fertilize their partner during intercourse even after having a vasectomy.

This isn't the result of your doctor not performing the procedure correctly or anything being wrong with you. The vas deferens can grow back together if there is a mixture of sperm, scar tissue, and white blood cells in the right locations. If this is going to happen, it will likely occur within three months after you have the vasectomy. This is why it is vital to use those alternate methods of birth control for a while.

Ditto. DNA analysis for paternity should be made mandatory for newborns. This way, there is less chance of "Paternity Fraud": tricking a wealthy man into raising a poor man's child, or divorcing the alleged father soon after his alleged paternity is established, just to lock him in to 18+ years of child-support payments for a child that isn't even his.

Paternity Fraud happens, and in the U.S. there is a slowly-growing movement to enforce severe penalties for those women who commit it. But already I can hear the protests forming...

"But, Fnord! You can't say that..."

Hey, ad infernos, u femina!

Well my sister got her tubes tied by my brother in law's insistance.

If you really want to see the "fairness" regarding genders and vasectamy.

She "complained" she was in pain for quite a while.

...of? The vasectomy? Of it being successful? Or of a child being yours post surgery?

CG is correct; sterilization is not guaranteed and not effective for generally 6-9 weeks as a standard minimum before it is suggested that the procedure has been successful. Also can be affected by the frequency of ejaculation after the surgery. Depending on the individual history, the chance of regrowth can be higher - and the only absolute ways to prevent pregnancy are either to abstain or if a woman has had a hysterectomy.

MissConstrue, I'm a little confused - could you elaborate more? I know that the procedure for women, depending on method, can be much more painful and traumatic than a vasectomy, but it isn't a pain-free experience by any stretch of the imagination. No one should be forced into making a decision like this; my opinion is it says more about the brother-in-law than any sense of gender equality.


M.

Actually I meant I'd want proof they've had the snip. There's a male pill available as well but again I'm not about to believe a guy if he says "dont worry darl I'm on the pill."

Asking for proof about the surgery is reasonable, in my opinion. One could also look for the scar, though that is not an assurance either. The male pill, as I understood it, was not proven reliable or released to be available at this time... though it is rather interesting that both sexes could face that uncertainty in believing whether their potential partner is being honest.


M.

I had my doctor tatoo his initials and phone number on the scars on my scrotum in anticipation of this situation.

I had my doctor tatoo his initials and phone number on the scars on my scrotum in anticipation of this situation.

My children already have a mother... I have a mother as well....

I am lookng for someone to grow old with and have fun along the way...
I hae been thinking about the 'V' fix for almost a decade... I would not like to have any more children though.

This reminds me - I should ask my husband to get a vasectomy.

If he chooses that route, I'd be glad to answer questions from my experience; not a doctor, but might be able to help assure him if he has concerns.


M.

OK! I haven't even brought it up. I have no idea what he'd say. A good friend of his did it (proudly) so that might help since my husband's kind of a "joiner".

How do you open up that conversation?

Asking whether he wants to have more kids would be an option. If not, then there is an avenue for you... you can find arguments to augment your position, but you might have the best results if you appeal to his sense of stability, planning ahead. While it was something I had considered for a long time, our ages, our health, our quirks and lifestyle all contributed to the discussion we had about not having children. It's relatively inexpensive (can pay for itself in a couple years) and not invasive... though do be aware that residual pain will last longer than the doctor suggests - that seemingly applies only to the procedural pain.


M.

V for victory topic

In the 70s, this was a way for a man to sleep around and know for sure he was not impregnating a woman. Interesting that it did not always work.

My ex-husband said that the reason why he did not get one was that he though it would diminish his sex drive. Whatever.

My sister-in-law had a tubal ligation at age 25. Prior to this she used birth control, but fear of cancer prompted her to get herself done. My brother said this was the better choice, in case she died before him and if he wanted to have children with another woman.

My sister used abortion as a method of birth control. She had four, her business, but this is a health risk for the woman.

In general, I think it can be a good method of birth control (with the provisos about waiting until the sperm count results are okay), if the couple have decided they have enough children, or they don't want any, and it means that the woman doesn't have to rely on hormone contraceptive pills, because messing around with your body for years should be avoided I reckon, there are health risks. I think I would appreciate it if a man took responsibility for contraception in that way, if we'd completed our family.

However, it can present problems if the couple divorce, or maybe if their child or children die and they want some more, or maybe they just change their mind and decide they want more children after all? Because while it's potentially reversible, it's less likely to be successful, whereas if a couple are using condoms or contraceptive pill or implants or coil, or whatever, then you can stop using them. So it's not something that rushed into, it should be something that the couple are sure about, and they've thought through those issues.

Personally speaking, from a very personal perspective, though, if I met someone who had been married before and had had a vasectomy, even if I really, really liked him, I probably wouldn't be able to continue in a relationship with him, because although I have a grown up daughter from my first relationship, I would like to settle down and start a family, so I wouldn't want to be with someone who had had a vasectomy and didn't want or couldn't have more children, so it would be a depressing thought for me.

(Although if I was seeing someone and we tried to conceive and it turned out we were one of those unlucky couples who had fertility problems, I like to think I would be more accepting, but I wouldn't choose to put myself in that situation, would would accept it if I happened to find myself in a situation where we couldn't have a family, and I would probably want to look into adoption.)