Feeling some guilt about how easily I get off based on...

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Although it hasn't happened to me, I can certainly imagine it from this perspective and how devastating it would be. The men I encountered never used such a line to get what they wanted. I don't know whether I was just relatively lucky, but some seemed terrified of taking my innocence.

Another factor could have been that they could barely get beyond kissing with me anyway (due to being in between asexual and sexual.)

The combination of innocence and lack of advice from friends and family back then was quite shocking; no one was looking out for me. Perhaps what protected me was my relative social aloofness and lack of sexual interest.

Just about the only friends I made were men who were physically or romantically attracted to me. People very rarely approached for other reasons. It is sad to acknowledge the following, but if they hadn't, I would have been completely socially isolated and not had a fraction of the social experiences I did.

Yeah they (=some males, predators) have a very systematical approach to it. You're not supposed to take it personally. Quite nasty how they work.

I sometimes go out on drinks with my mother and there are men her age or older around.... I've noticed they have a pattern where they lie about being in love with my mother or being her friends (I don't know my mother well) so I'm supposed to let my guard down (?), buy me drinks (like I am in some debt to them) awkwardly try to touch me all the while I think I'm having a conversation about art, electronics etc. A conversation like, you know individual to individual. It's just a stupid game to them.
At some point my mother or her friend will tell me they were hitting on me and trying to take me home or whatever. I wouldn't have gone but it makes you feel dirty.

And what makes it more perverse is that I'm petite and relatively young-looking (and sincere & honest, like you could say, a kid ).

You know, they have all kinds of books on what to say, pick-up artists etc. so they can learn to act a certain part and say the right lines. Like "say __ and at this point touch her there, this is step 3 blabla" Are some (NT) women this weak and go along with this crap? Why is it acceptable? Do any of these people feel shame or embarrassment? I feel embarrassed for belonging to the same species as them.

EDIT: Oh of course. This is just a case of NTs learning and acting out the certain patterns in NT communication that will give them what they want. Just learn the script and voilá. Really, people are pretty simple.

QFT.

Only because I did experience that in my last relationship or whatever you want to call it.

Sometimes I wonder if my ASD makes me a little naive in this way...then again, unlike lookers I sort of felt alone with myself. So much insecurity that I actually thought this person loved me for me and had nothing to do with physical attractiveness....much.

You ladies just made me count a blessing.

Which is?

That would be my man. We met very young, so I never had the experiences most women seem to have encountered. I would have to guess I really know nothing of men in general. I am always engrossed by these types of conversations...men are like this and want that...women are like that and want this...although I always seem to have nothing to contribute.

I have thought this too. Why isn't the (often) rapacious male sexual appetite not considered slu*ty? Why isn't sweet talking a woman into bed considered abhorrent?

Definitely! The old double standard at work, I guess.

Yes, I find I come across as innocent and often get labelled "sweet" or a "good girl" because I'm so shy and anxious that I can't really be much other than demure. And I'm really naive, like a kid. GRR. And that attracts a lot of attention from controlling men. I hate it. I find myself playing cute and dumb because that's what's expected of me and otherwise my behaviour is so Martian strange. But it makes me angry, like I've been forced into a mould. And it makes me angry when men will seek out women because of their looks and discount ASD as no big deal because it's in the way of what they want. Especially when Aspie women seem to be so vulnerable in the first place.

It's really hard to have people label you as "attractive". It causes so much jealousy and messiness and it's hard to trust people (men and women) when that's the warped way they see you.
I used to go play pool in the pub with some men from my (not ASD) care community because there were so few women there. The vast majority of the people here are male and much older than me and that was definitely the case with pool.
Because i felt so awkward, I allowed them to act like coaches to me, but now I grit my teeth every time a man tells me which shot to take. And I don't like the 'admiring' remarks some of the older men are starting to make.

When one of the men started telling me I should do my hair the way it was last week because it looked nice, I developed a real discomfort with him and going to pool. Especially as they drink beer while we play. ARGH why can't I just be a fricking person to men!! Ew. I still haven't decided what I'm doing about pool. I don't want the men checking out my appearance and treating me differently because of it, and I feel really uncomfortable with the direction that's heading. I don't want him getting 'fond' of me. Just no

I feel like my looks are complete curse to me. I'm half asian and I bear a lot of freckles on my face. Alot of guys, whether they are popular or geeky (but mostly geeky) find this incredibly cute and attractive about me. I hate my baby face look. It's a complete lie about the person I am on the inside. But due to my social anxiety and my poor ability to talk about me in a way that doesnt get me teased for weeks...no one ever gets to see the real me. I don't play cute and dumb while in social situations...I am too cute but also too dumb to do anything. Most of them will just tease me for being quiet anyway. Guys run away or be like 'what the f***?' whenever I try to show them that there's more than just a cutesy girl under all the freckles. I have quite an edgy mind and imagination and everytime I try to prove this in the outside world, it is met with scorn and I get pissed I do.

It's amazing how many guys are into the "cute and pathetic" girl like me. The ones they can constantly tease and expect us to put up with it. Even the nicest of gentlemen seem to get a kick from this. Sometimes I try to look hot or look like a skank. It's more than just a self-image booster. My logic from my distorted view of the world is that if I look like a skank than most guys will leave me alone cuz theyre looking for someone whose more cute looking. I dont even wear makeup and I cant believe this kind of stuff happens to me. Who knew it would be harder work for me to fend off guys than it is to attract them?

I know this is the women's forum but it works the other way too. Because of the way I look my poor social skills are interpreted as arrogance, the kind of arrogance that may be attractive to a certain kind of girl but not the type I'd like to attract.

I feel a strange ambivelance from other men too, they look to me as some kind of leader type simply due to the shape of my face and the way I hold myself but when I don't do any leading strange primate territorial behaviour happens and other people who look like me, usually the type I'd prefer to be friends with, see me as a rival to be avoided or bested somehow. Nowadays I tend to drink alone lol

just before we broke up my last gf wrote a poem that basically said the reason she loves me was that I could make her come really easily, soul killer indeed as I thought she liked me for me, not a nice feeling.

One thing I've noticed is that NTs only give away the things they don't really care about whereas AS people tend to give everything no matter what it's worth. Maybe AS people would do better to guard the important things a little more carefully, easier said than done though I realise.

Whoever said AS males can relate to NT males obviously has never been an AS male remember ladies the grass isn't greener it's a very similar shade.

I agree! I get so tired of people telling me how attractive I am, for the same reasons. And, as for those women who start to envy me, I wish I could tell them that this so called perception of my attractiveness, has never earned me anything but trouble.

QFT

Well...I can't recall ever being called attractive, except when followed by, "Ha ha, I wasn't serious! Oh my god!" or something like that. Still, that didn't keep me from being lied to and taken advantage of, or anything like that.