What you will NEVER understand about men

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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZO6b_VGi0x8[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0kSuZFOwFE[/youtube]

MindBlind: You'll notice the modifier "many" before the noun "men." Not all men, many men--I've lived in four countries including the US, and spent time with groups of men who ranged from jocks to the uber nerdy, and the one consistent thing I've noticed is that when I am in a room which contains more than about ~40% men, at least two of those men start competing about something. Gaming, whose TV show is better, whose sports hero is better, who knows more about some subject, etc. Their competition will frequently draw in other men, and the whole thing gets... loud.... after a few drinks, causing me to need to flee the area.

It may be that some men do not compete. I do not understand why any men would. It is a lose-lose proposition to compete like that. Someone will feel... lesser.... after that kind of competition, and I don't understand why they would do that to their friends/acquaintances.

The purpose of the thread was to express what we will never understand about men. That is something I will never understand about men. It is also something I don't understand about women when it happens, but this thread is not about women.
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As for the other comments--"one of us" would be fine, but telling a woman she's a man is NOT "one of us". A "one of us" comment might be something like including someone in a conversation about some shared interest, or turning to them to ask them a question about shared expertise.

That's.... not.... what I'm getting. My gaming group is all male but me. They amuse themselves at intervals by talking about my ethereal peen and how my "female" responses don't count because I'm really a man. And so I throw it back at them: I ask if I should wear one of my cocks before we play poker or Pathfinder. I jiggle my tits at them and talk about scratching my balls--of the four gaming groups I've belonged to, these are the most benign group. A lot of the men I know, when they get together, can't seem to resist being kinda sh***y/giving people a hard time.

I'm fairly good at being rough back, although sometimes I just leave because I'm not in the mood.

In general, telling a woman she's a man because you like talking to her is not a compliment.

There are different kinds of competition--competing to be the best at something (best chess player, best gamer, best runner, best painter, etc) and this sort of free-ranging, loud, pointless competition. I don't mind people who want to do their best.

I do mind being stuck at a table by a group of men whose volume has escalated to the point where I have my fingers in my ears, who are arguing whether or not Einstein's search for a unified field theory was a worthwhile use of his time (for instance). Especially when they start bellowing at one another across the table.

They're competing against each other not to pursue personal excellence, but essentially to see who yells the loudest about something sufficiently nerdy.

I don't see the point, and there's apparently some sort of obscure point system which tracks these sorts of things, because someone loses and feels bad. They're all friends. Why behave this way?

Why do men like stupid, immature humor, like making their video game usernames something relating to bodily fluids or male anatomy?

Also, this one is a bit awkward, but why do men that I date like feeling my ribs? I've had this happen several times, but I don't understand it. It feels weird too. Do all guys do this or just the ones I've dated?

Why they have such a fascination with first person shooter games.

"Any time you cook for us, we're happy".
Only if it's in a domestic household kitchen, it seems. If we're chefs in the kitchen of a high-quality restaurant kitchen, watch out because we're clueless.

I've never met a man (or a woman) who named his/her pet Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, whatever.

You're just not running into to the "right kind" of man.

Hitler the hamster.