Do you have a red flag list?

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Insisting on getting their way


Some lil dipshits are so full of themselves, that they truly believe that any time they are not happy, someone violated their stupidass "rights,"


Saying "sorry" for things that are not their fault

That way you can't distinguish sympathy from apology


For example, ozben felek b***h told me "sorry" she took her Fido inside the dojo. But it's Leash Law. Not sorry you are afraid of dogs make it clear, b***h

I've always been mistrustful of someone who tries too hard to get to know me right off the bat. Best case scenario, they're very neurotypical; worst case, they are "cultivating" me for some agenda of their own. So I guess this behavior would constitute a red flag.

I apologize for those who I unfairly judge, but too much blaming of others or avoidance of personal responsibility is probably not going to work well for me. Such people may have legitimate reasons for that, but I don't want to be around it, personally. It will just be a matter of time before we clash.

When they are too vague

Like overusing "respect", "rude", "people".

"You don't look like you would hurt anyone", Jeanne Courtney told me

People that do not look like they would hurt people still hurt people

In 35 years , more than two people, rightly or wrongly, thought or said , that I "hurt" them. Purposely or not. And the definition of "hurt" is for the alleged victim to decide


Splitting fine hairs

Cruelty to animals, or those who have pets and are irresponsible when taking care of them

Making fun of people with disabilities, or making fun of anyone

Not honoring commitments

Gaslighting, making people doubt their sanity

- substance abuse and addiction
- liars or people with a chronic need to make excuses
- gaslighting or any sign of narcissism
- cruelty or neglect of animals
- rude behaviour to strangers (waiters, etc)
- rage issues (especially with a failure to seek help)
- poor money management, bankruptcy, bad credit
- racism, homophobia or transphobia
- recurrent unemployment or "using the system", grifters
- people who are codependent and can't take care of themselves

How often do they have to fail to honor commitments? Certainly there has to be margin of error. And extreme events happen. But some idiots cancelled on me for every slightest thing .


"Cruelty to animals"?

That's vague. When you make the statement so vague, you make it so nobody in their right mind could disagree. But two different people have two different definitions of "cruelty,"

An off leash dog bit me, I screamed, and some dipshit had the nerve to tell me to leave the building. "We don't treat animals that way! Animal rights!"


The dipshit acted like I violated the dogs ",rights" by screaming. And the dog did not violate my ",rights" by biting me.

I'm really sorry that happened to you, shortman. I agree that the owner was being cruel and careless to you, and also cruel to their dog by not having it on a lead or under control. In some circumstances the dog could be euthanised for hurting a person, although it was the fault of a careless owner. A person should not be permitted to have a dog if they allow it off-leash and can't control it.

For what it's worth I would never, ever, allow my dog off-lead in public even though he is a perfectly trained service animal.

I'm sorry this happened. The owner should be ashamed of themselves.

Isabella

Thank you very much for your answer.


However the dog bite was not your fault.

"Can", "should", and "will" are all three different things.


Someone told me that I was cruel to the dog .

If you want the dog euthanized, you need a lengthy legal process

The owner is not going to willingly do it


The legal process costs $$$


Sometimes someone says "would never,", when they have not considered all the situations

You were not cruel at all. The owner was cruel to you and to their own dog by allowing it in that situation.

I understand how you feel about "would never", but in my nine years of dog ownership I can't recall a single time I had my dog off-lead outside of my (fenced) property. Likewise with previous dogs. I had a neighbour who literally threatened to sue me because my cat walked across his garden, so I'm very careful about my animals and how they interact with other people. It's unfathomable to me that the dog owner wasn't held responsible in some way for what happened to you. It was clearly frightening for you and I can tell you are still traumatised. Hugs.

Isabella

You can't measure cruelty .

You and I think the dog owner was cruel to me. (Although "cruel" is a strong word)

The dog owner acted like I was cruel to the dog.

In the United States, anyone can sue anyone for anything

You neighbor could have sued you when your cat walked across his garden

But it would have been hard for him to find a lawyer that would take the case (unless he was a lawyer himself)

The lawyer would cost $$$. For the neighbor and you.

There is no guarantee that he would have won the case


Some precious lil "people" truly believe that every time someone Sue's someone, the petitioner (plaintiff) wins $$ from the defendant. That is not correct.

The defendant could file a countersuit.


However I am not a lawyer. Nor am I telepathic or precognitive.

So I don't have the right to give out legal advice.


Some cases have weird, unjustified and counterintuitive verdicts.


So of course I do not know what would have happened, if the neighbor were to have sued you.


Different judges and juries render different verdicts and sentences, to the same case.


But whatever


If you do not believe me, you can look it up





Back to my situation, where the dog bit me.


That does not seem "unfathomable" to me


Unjustified, wrong, yes. That's how it seems to me


But unless I were to have filed a civil lawsuit and won, there is nothing I could have done



Some lawyers cost 600 bucks an hour


Some lawsuits take two years


The outcome is not guaranteed


"Pick your battles". I hate that statement, because I am so helpless, outnumbered, overpowered, weak, lazy, and socially awkward. That I can't do anything about it when someone treats me that way



"Frightening", yes. But Social Anxiety Disorder. Many things are "frightening" for me. That are not "frightening" for "most people"


The world is a torture chamber, not a playground. For me


Homophobia, dogs, loud noises. Precious lil "people" talk too much and too loudly and there are too many of them.


I have no friends and no job and no job skills


And et cetera

I wasn't suggesting that you actually sue the dog owner. All I mean is that the owner was cruel to her own dog, because she allowed the dog in a situation where some other victim might have chosen to sue them, or fight for its euthanasia. I know it's expensive, etc., but if the dog had bitten someone else with a lot of money or who was a barrister, then the story would / could have a different ending.

My neighbour saw an old section in the law that says cats are free to go outside but if they go off the owner's property they are responsible for any damages. The neighbour suggested my cat put footprints in his garden and thus caused damages.

I didn't get sued but I would not have fought such a case. Yes, I know all about countersuits and the expensive / time-consuming aspects of the law.

You were not cruel to the dog so I don't understand why anyone would or could say that to you.

To Summarize, common "Red Flags" are: Ableism, Abnormal Behavior (as a symptom of Schizophrenia), Abusive (emotionally, mentally, physically), Addiction, Alcoholism, Arrogance, Bigotry, Bullying, Compulsive (must do things a certain way), Condescending (belittles you at every opportunity), Constant Whining (a “poor, poor me” attitude), Contentious (always in conflict with someone), Controlling / Domineering (tells you what to do, say, think, et cetera), Cruelty, Decreased Ability to Understand Reality (as a symptom of Schizophrenia), Delusional, Desperate, Didactic (corrects you on your actions, knowledge speech, opinions, et cetera), Drug Addiction, Emotional Baggage (from previous relationships), Emotional Expression (as a symptom of Schizophrenia), False Beliefs (as a symptom of Schizophrenia), Gossipy, Guilt-Tripping (everything is somehow your fault), Gun Collection, Hearing Voices that Do Not Exist (as a symptom of Schizophrenia), Hypocrisy (do as they say, not as they do), Insecure (needs constant affirmation and assurance), Irresponsible, Judgmental, Knife Collection, Lack of Motivation (as a symptom of Schizophrenia), Laziness, Lying, Mooching (“borrows” without ever paying back or returning), Nazi Obsession, Obesity (not just over-weight or “a little plump”), Obsessive, Over-Confidence, Perfectionism, Poor Hygiene, Porn Obsession, Prison Record, Racism, Rage Issues (the slightest trigger put them in a rage), Reduced Social Engagement (as a symptom of Schizophrenia), Schizophrenia (classic, Sexism, Strange Speech (as a symptom of Schizophrenia), Tattoos, Thievery, Tobacco Use, Unclear or Confused Thinking (as a symptom of Schizophrenia), Victimhood, Violence-Obsessive, and/or Violent.

Isabella.

You have a large definition of "cruel"

It was Berkeley animal Rights center . And I was looking for something to buy to eat. (It sells food). The dog was off leash

Do not know if that violated the Leash Law, but , in any event, taking precious lil Fido off leash, in a building the owner works or volunteers, does not sound "cruel" to me.


Someone told me off for screaming. As if it violated the dogs stupidass "right," to be happy at all times


Entitled lil dipshits. Dog and owner

I just thought of one recently: online trolling.

If someone likes to harass and abuse strangers online for entertainment purposes, I would consider that a red flag that they are probably an abusive person in general and have a sadistic personality. Trolling online is sort of like training to abuse people IRL, it's practising the behaviour from a single remove--from the protection of anonymity.

I think it indicates not just a sadistic personality, but also ultimately a cowardly one.

Alrighty then, yes staying on topic is good, best to have back and forth interactions elsewhere

I see if they treat people of different "status" differently. Someone who is super sweet to you, but demanding and mean to the person serving food at the restaurant, is probably not a nice person when you get to know them better. Also if someone starts wanting you to stop hanging out with your friends/family and just hang out with them or their friends.