Have you felt alienated/discounted by the autistic men here?

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dianthus
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07 Jan 2016, 1:24 am

Yigeren wrote:

Not sure how saying I don't understand where someone is coming from invalidates anything. I don't understand.

That is not what I said. Saying there is no good reason is what is invalidating. The foundation of having respect for other people is understanding that they have reasons for the things they do and for what they feel. Even if you do not understand what those reasons are, or do not like or agree with what they are doing.

Evam
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07 Jan 2016, 3:47 am

wilburforce wrote:

Does anyone else find it a bit unfair that someone else has come into the thread that I created, posted an entire page of responses, but at the same time told me I'm not allowed to answer them, in my own thread, because he doesn't want to talk to me? The only solution he's leaving me is to have the thread locked, but then [...]

Yes to your question (where did he do so, please quote), and no, locking the thread is not the only solution. You can answer them anyway, you can just turn a blind eye to them and focus on the issue that is important to you and on those posts and people you find more constructive. It would for example be useful to focus on non-gender specific questions which are very much related to the issue like why autistic people are often less capable of seeing that someone else has a similar problem to their own, even when pretty obvious, make up categorical wannabe differences in order to achieve this, and pose as the only true sufferer. (This procedure could help to sort out some things, because there is less frustration involved when in the dating issue.) It might also help to quote the problematic parts of his responses, and state something like this: "To people who feel compelled to directly answer this: Could you please consider whether this would not go very much against the purpose of this thread which is ... (I am the thread opener)"

Do you realize that saying that this is the only solution, although it is very clearly not, is like pretending to be more afflicted than you actually are?

Peacesells
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07 Jan 2016, 11:15 am

Yigeren wrote:

No, I do not understand. I think all the arguing is pointless. I think that he stated his opinion, people didn't agree, then got hostile. He's allowed to have his own opinion. No one is required to agree. He didn't insult anyone, or call anyone names. He said what he thought. It's easy enough to say, "I disagree with you" without being angry. But that's not what happened.

I've witnessed this happen more than once on WP and it seems that some people want to argue, not discuss. I disagree with this attitude, I stated my opinion, and I was told I was wrong. So I'm not allowed to have an opinion either.

People make real discussion or respectful debate impossible.

No true, it IS his fault! People who say misogynous stuff like the onboxious expression "virgin not by choice" should be taken to a tribunal, these entitled losers. They're not entitled to a woman's body! If you're a guy in your mid 20s and never had a gf there must be something seriously wrong with you and girls do well avoiding you! /sarcars off

hurtloam
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07 Jan 2016, 5:56 pm

Evam wrote:

It would for example be useful to focus on non-gender specific questions which are very much related to the issue like why autistic people are often less capable of seeing that someone else has a similar problem to their own, even when pretty obvious, make up categorical wannabe differences in order to achieve this, and pose as the only true sufferer.

This is the real problem! So true.

wilburforce
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07 Jan 2016, 8:26 pm

hurtloam wrote:

Evam wrote:

This is the real problem! So true.

I find this post confusing, actually. I'm not sure what is being suggested.

Spiderpig
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07 Jan 2016, 8:44 pm

BenderRodriguez wrote:

Spiderpig, I hope you won't see this as hostility on my part, because it really isn't.

In your case, I think a lot is lost in translation, between intention and your actual words. Do you really not understand that when you repeatedly state that you never approach or talk to women and that you would be suspicious and think something very unflattering if one would show any interest in you, it's just absurd to claim that you "cannot get a relationship or sex"? The information you give yourself is very confusing and people often react with hostility to such things.

I don’t know what’s confusing about that. Maybe reality is confusing. At any rate, I wasn’t specifically talking about myself in this case.

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Spiderpig
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07 Jan 2016, 8:51 pm

0_equals_true wrote:

Answer what you like he can't stop you. Answer the ideas.

Rarely is a good idea to lock things, he has no authority to prevent you from answering, It is his responsibility to ignore you if he is not answering you.

I never implied I have such authority. I asked her to leave me alone as I was leaving her since I concluded arguing with her is a waste of my time. Of course I know she doesn’t have to oblige, as the continuous accusations in this thread and the request to have me removed from the discussion by moderators make pretty obvious.

Spiderpig
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07 Jan 2016, 9:01 pm

Well, it looks like the captcha won’t let me edit this into the previous post.

0_equals_true wrote:

Personally I think people refusing to speak to each other, is all a bit silly. It is a personal choice that needs to be acted on not said. If you needs to said then they are making some other point besides not talking to someone. I had only one person say that on this forum a long time ago and the continued to send me PMs long after they said it.

Well, I have better things to do with the time I spend on this site than devoting it to trying in vain to correct neverending distortions of my posts and relentless accusations. If you think trying to avoid that situation is silly, so be it. By the way, how do you go about “just not talking to them” when, after some time doing precisely that, they start addressing you angrily and judgementally, and refuse to leave you alone?

kraftiekortie
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07 Jan 2016, 9:12 pm

Hey SpiderPig:

You are a good-looking snowman who will never melt--even amid the heat.

At least you don't have a carrot for a nose!

I wish my eyes could change color like your eyes!

I have learned that arguments like this one are futile, and never have winners--only losers.

Because everybody right...and everybody's wrong.

Yigeren
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07 Jan 2016, 9:31 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I like the snowman too. I'm kinda jealous that I don't have a more interesting avatar.

Spiderpig
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07 Jan 2016, 9:38 pm

I guess you’re right. I really dislike being made to look like I hate women and want them to be abused just for making a point.

I wouldn’t say you don’t have an interesting avatar, Yigeren. I had to make mine so lacking in colors and features for all its frames to fit within the allowed file size.

wilburforce
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07 Jan 2016, 9:49 pm

Spiderpig wrote:

Well, it looks like the captcha won’t let me edit this into the previous post.

0_equals_true wrote:

Who has accused you of anything? If you feel someone is personally attacking you, you should point that out of the moderators. I'm not sure I've seen any of that in this thread. I think you might be a little paranoid and are interpreting attack in people's attempts just to talk to you about your comments (btw--why make comments if you don't want people to answer them, and take every response as a personal attack on you?), but if you think I'm wrong and you see clear examples of people attacking and accusing you of things then why don't you tell the moderators that so they can remove the posts?

Yigeren
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07 Jan 2016, 10:34 pm

Spiderpig wrote:

I like that the avatar changes colors and simultaneously looks devious and cheerful.

Spiderpig
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09 Jan 2016, 9:39 am

Yigeren wrote:

I like that the avatar changes colors and simultaneously looks devious and cheerful.

That's funny. I think the devious part is mostly due to technical accidents: the low resolution makes the mouth look jagged, and I haven't yet found out why what was supposed to be clear ice looks black instead :lol:

Yigeren
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09 Jan 2016, 11:46 am

^Did you create it or get it from somewhere? And then how do you edit it? I'd like to know how to create animated ones. I can alter photos and such, but that's all I know how to do.

Spiderpig
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09 Jan 2016, 12:25 pm

I made the frames with POV-Ray and put them together into an animated GIF with the GIMP. The snowman shape is just the Unicode snowman character ☃

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