Pro-choice or not(Women only)
Religions are free to practice only until their practice harms others. Satanists are free to practice Satanism, but they can't legally slaughter their neighbor's children or pets even if their religion calls for it. Fundamentalist Islamists can't legally cut off their wives heads or wage jihad on their atheist neighbors, even if their religion calls for it. Scientologists can't discriminate against non-scientologists in business, even though their principles call for it. Catholics should not be allowed to discriminate against gays for the same reasons.
Tell that to the 4% of children who would have otherwise been adopted into a caring family rather than left in the orphanage.
That is false. FOCA is a legislative action, not a constitutional ammendment.
Deciding not to perform a service entirely is a far cry from deciding to discriminate against certain people when you provide services. For example, what if the Catholic position was that they would provide abortions - but only for white people? Or only if the fetus was mixed-race? Should that be allowed?
Abortion services need to be available *somewhere,* but it doesn't have to be at a Catholic hospital. In my case, there's another hospital in the county that performs all of the needed abortions; my medical system's denial of abortions affects no one.
Funny how I haven't heard anything about it despite working in a Catholic hospital. And they do, by the way, put out 'action alerts' when there's legislation that will affect the hospital going through congress.
Children absolutely can be a punishment. They are both our greatest burden and our greatest joy, and only the individual circumstances tip the balance as to which is the larger factor. Even a spouse - an independent adult - can be a ball and chain, much more a person that is not only completely dependent but sick and needy far more often than an adult.
I agree that sex ed needs to be fixed, but nobody is "pushing" abortion on anyone. Abortion rights are advocated; abortions are not. If an abortion happens, it's because of a failure, and you're right that the cause of that failure needs to be fixed; however, the solution is not to burden everyone who fails with a child.
By preaching 'accountability,' you are essentially admitting that going through nine months of pregnancy is an appropriate punishment for the 'irresponsibility' of having gotten pregnant in the first place.
Oh, I don't disagree with you at all on that point.
That raises an interesting thought, for me at least. If I were to get pregnant from voluntary sex at this point in my life, I would go through with the pregnancy and keep the child (assuming no abnormalities). Had I gotten pregnant while I was in school, I would have aborted.
I'm not saying men should have rights on the matter since they can't get pregnant. I'm just saying that we can't forget about them in our decisions.
If the man and woman in question have a good relationship (and want to continue having a good relationship), then yes: the father absolutely should be involved in making the decision. However, the ultimate choice is always the woman's.
First you were equating abortion to infanticide, now you are equating it with murder. Not only have you kept on digging, you've dropped the shovel and brought in a backhoe.
Oh, I agree with that completely. That's the point.
I don't think that a person who acquires an STD through irresponsible sex should be denied treatment, no matter how irresponsible that person was. Even if they're a crack-addicted illegal immigrant prostitute, I don't think that they should be denied treatment. In other words, even if they are a crack-addicted illegal immigrant prostitute, I'm going to do what I can to protect them from the consequences of their irresponsible actions because the consequences of their actions outweigh the immorality, and because it is easy for me to do so.
Having an abortion is a hell of a lot more significant than treating an STD, but the same type of reasoning applies: I'm not going to force a woman to carry a pregnancy against her will for nine months just for one night (half an hour- or less!) of stupidity. If she compounds that stupidity by waiting months to treat her condition, then the limitations start piling on to the point that she may not be allowed to get an abortion at all. But I just don't think that sex is such a severe crime that a woman should be punished for it for nine months, and possibly the rest of her life.
But we have programs that ensure that they don't HAVE to suffer for the rest of their lives. They can get a GED - they can even get scholarships to do so for free - and if they study and do well at that, they can get scholarships to go to college. They don't have to suffer for the rest of their lives just because they made one bad decision.
...assuming that they have a G/P (not just a pediatrician), and parents who are willing to let them talk to their G/P in private (what teens will be willing to discuss bc with their G/P in front of their parents? Assuming that their parents haven't been responsible (or are so religiously hidebound) enough to talk about bc themselves?
Having an abortion, and having it early, is not blowing off responsibility. Blowing off responsibility is denying the problem for nine months and then leaving the baby in a dumpster or beside the road in the woods somewhere.
Being a historian does not make one unbiased, and being a grad student certainly doesn't.
'Fer crying out loud.
Just becaue something isn't morally evil, does not make that thing great and wonderful. It's possible to be morally neutral, or even slightly morally negative but better than the alternative.
Divorce is almost invariably terrible for everyone involved, and sometimes it is over-used; people get divorces when they could have overcome their differences if they had only worked harder, gone to counseling, and stuck it out. Sometimes people get divorces and then evilly take their spouse for all they're worth out of sheer vindictiveness.
No one is pro-divorce; no one wants there to be more divorces. But the option of 'not allowing divorce at all,' or 'making divorce far harder to legally get,' would exponentially increase the collective misery of the country and do vastly more harm than good.
When my father split in order to get out of child support, my mom went to the welfare office once. Everyone else there was also a single mother; most of them were owed child suppport that the father wasn't paying. My mom felt so humiliated that she left before she finished filling out the paperwork, and never went back; luckily, she met my dad and they got married before she was in dire enough straits to be forced to swallow her pride.
Technically, you don't need a car to survive either - but if you're looking for work, it sure helps to have both. Or if you have kids, it's pretty damn important to have both; how's your kid going to reach you when she gets sick at school if you don't have a cell phone and work (for example) at the bulb farm, weeding outside all day (one of the larger minimum-wage employers in my county)? How are you going to get to school to pick her up?
Have you ever seen a really poor person with a blackjack, or an iphone, or a palm pre? My guess is no, or at least not many. On the other hand, you can't sign up for a cell plan anymore without getting a free razor, or sometimes even a rebuilt phone of a nicer type.
This is true. I don't have a cell phone, but I do have a landline and I don't have kids.
And believe me, I am quite glad that I don't live in Puerto Rico for the machismo among other reasons.
Worldly goods like 'a high school diploma' or 'a career' or 'a degree' or even 'a decent standard of living with health insurance' are not sell-out needs imnsho. It's not like people are choosing between a mansion with a pool, or a baby. They are chosing between middle class and a baby. I don't see that as a sell-out at all.
Given that there's no hard and fast definiton of 'sellout' that includes the situation we're talking about, you're right. It's your opinion, and I'm unlikely to change it. I'm sure glad we live in a democracy, though.
Just because I would chose one way at this point in my life, does not mean that I would deny others the right to choose the other way.
yes, it was. If you read a little about why Margaret Sanger started providing birth control, it wasn't just for rape victims or women with health problems. It was for women drowning in both poverty and the responsibility of taking care of enormous families, who felt that they absolutely could not handle one more child.
Rape, incest, and health are what we allow abortions for in the 3rd trimester; they are extreme cases, and deserve extreme exceptions. They are what we allow abortion for even when we agree that the zef is almost a child. We don't require extremity in first trimester abortions because it is so far from being a child that the requirement for balancing the moral cost of an abortion is much lower.
Noooo... it would be a little more like, 'I colored my hair blond but I didn't like it, so I had a surgeon scalp me and re-implant hair of the color I like.' It's a surgical procedure.
And for the vast majority of women who go through it, it is not casual.
That is not accurate. Promoting would be saying, 'abortions are great! Everyone should have abortions because kids are terrible! Hooray for China for forcing its citizens to have abortions against their will!' What I am saying, and what planned parenthood says, are that abortions only happen when a failure has occured, but it is important to have options even after that failure. Women should be able to make their own choices.
You said that, not me.
That is factually incorrect. Abortion rates peaked initially after RvW, but have been falling off ever since.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22689931
[/quote]Abortion is not like a divorce. I know for a fact beyond a shadow of doubt if I divorce my husband, I am not killing a living being. Nobody can agree or define when life begins, and until that day, nobody knows for sure if abortion is killing a baby or just removing some unwanted cells.[/quote]
Life never ends (barring extinction, anyway). The zef is alive in every sense of the word before conception even happens. There isn't some immaterial 'life substance' that infuses the zef at some point; Pasteur proved that a couple of centuries ago. If you want to argue about when (or if) ensoulment happens, that's a religious question that should not be legislated; if you want to argue when personhood begins, you have to decide what makes a human person different from every other type of being on the planet.
If simply killing a living being is your problem, then I hope you're vegan - and even then, you kill bacteria every time you bathe or even worse, every time you take antibiotics to fight off a cold. If killing living beings is murder, then you commit genocide every time you drive your car.
On FOCA:
Basically stating that fundamental rights are rights held higher than other rights including the bill of rights which include freedom of speech and freedom of religion.
(a) STATEMENT OF POLICY- It is the policy of the United States that every woman has the fundamental right to choose to bear a child, to terminate a pregnancy prior to fetal viability, or to terminate a pregnancy after fetal viability when necessary to protect the life or health of the woman.
Now as a fundamental right, would a hospital be allowed to deny a woman her fundamental right? If not, then say goodbye to many good Catholic hospitals.
Personally, I don't care about a woman's right to do stupid things. I do, however, care about the availability of health care to my kids. If Catholic Hospitals won't be forced into providing abortions, that's cool. But if so, then I got a problem. Because while so many women are more concerned about terminating their pregnancies, many moms out there who did the job, who gave birth, who take care and nurture their kids are going to want these hospitals more than someone's right to stupidity. And, I promise you, the Catholics are already not taking it quietly. Just because you didn't get the alert doesn't mean it ain't happening. Don't believe me? Ask the Catholics at the online Catholic Forum, http://www.catholic-forum.com/. I'm sure they will provide you with lots of literature as to where the Catholic Church truly stands on the matter. If you want a great debate, you'd be up against some of the best. Usually the best debaters on that site have a "CCF" behind their name.
To be honest, I really don't have the time to debate this much. I keep pretty busy being a mom and all, and I usually just pop in and out of the forum here when I get a little time. I've got some serious projects coming up, and I don't want them to suffer because I feel like I have to prove a point to someone I never really met and whose never going to agree with me. If you were the President of the US or a congress person, then maybe I'd feel like it was worth the sacrifice. I figure I'll pick my battles here and keep being picky until I'm content with giving you the last word...like where we can just agree to disagree type thing. I can be pretty stubborn, and you seem just as stubborn as I, and I am trying out this new thing where I'm being wiser about that which I'm stubborn. So, I'm going to be stubborn about cleaning my house, doing laundry, and getting stuff done. Otherwise, you may direct your concerns over to the CCF because they're better at debate than even I. Just be careful about their usage policy. Even I am too vulgar sometimes for their flavor.
I do not admit 9 months of pregnancy is an appropriate punishment to having sex. But it is a natural consequence or result of sex. Having sex is natural, so is getting pregnant and having a baby. Abortions are not natural.
In all honesty, if I got pregnant at 15, I probably would have at least seriously considered an abortion. I probably would be regretting it now that I'm 30 and then justifying that it was the right thing for the time in my head.
Actually, I wasn't trying to equate abortion with murder. I equated it with breaking the law. Hence the further example of assault. I could just as easily say if I went to Puerto Rico and robbed the woman, it would be okay because Im stupid. It was again, using your logic against you. You are the one equating abortion to infanticide and murder.
Uneducated people can do all those things like get a GED, scholarships, grants, go to college with loans, etc., even with kids. Don't believe me? My sister just had back surgery. She has an 8 year old, a 6 year old, and a 1 year old. She works full time plus on salary so she doesn't get the overtime, but her average work week is 50-60 hours. In addition, she is a full time student (12 credit hours) at the local college making a 4.0. In addition, she is planning her wedding. I can surprise visit anytime and her house is clean, and she does most of it (although now with the back surgery, I wonder how well her bf is going to do with the job). She is also the most emotional drama queen you will ever meet. And growing up, in all honesty, I totally didn't ever expect her to be capable of what she is doing. I really think the kids are the reason she is the way she is now. Kids got her to grow up. My kids are getting me too as well. Kids are the best motivation to get your life straight. In fact, out of all my friends, those who had abortions versus those who didn't, the ones who didn't have a better life. IN fact, my middle class friend who had abortions is now living in poverty, and my lower class friend straight up out of some ghetto is now lower middle class with three kids the first of which she was pregnant at 15.
Good point on divorce
I've had a lot of bad luck with cell phones. When we were Sprint, my baby somehow broke the phone (I think from slober if that's possible). Anyway, Sprint phones started at like 200 or 300, and they'd give me a 70 discount if I signed up for another 2 years. So i got on ebay and ordered a phone used. Well, I kept getting ones that didn't work and then exchange it. All by mail. So I went through about 5 months back then without a phone and with a baby while pregnant. Back then too, I was also without a car because my hubby and I shared one, and he used it to go to work which was most of the time because he was military. We had a second car, but it just didn't run. We did pay about 2 grand into mechanics to not fix it. Love mechanics. Also, mind you, I was 1500 miles away from family. After we moved back home, soon after I got my cell, well I replaced that cell once again before I switched back to AT&T. I got a pretty cool looking simple free phone with ATT. My daughter stuck it in the toilet. That was like 32 days after I got it. So again, I went months without a phone but in this case, I had a baby and a toddler. And we lived out in the country where there is no cab service. We gave away the car that didn't run, and some guy was very happy to get a classic sports car for free. That was before we moved home, and we shared a car until some time after I went so long without a phone, my mom actually bought me a second car as a birthday gift. It's nice. Toyota Camry, from like 1992. We'll see how long those Toyota's actually go. I think she was more concerned about me being a mile hike away from a gas station with no cab service no phone to call the no cab service. Anyway, I finally got a new phone and a back up phone. Walmart sells go phones for 20 bucks each (15 when I bought them). I can put my SIM card in there and it works off my plan. So I bought one for me and one for my sister who lost her cell to the toilet bowl too. My mom also was with me when I bought them, and didn't realize I bought one for my sister, so she did too, so now I have two phones. You know what else was cool about those GO phones? They, even with a prepaid plan, work free from ATT to ATT. If the whole world would get on AT&T, we almost wouldn't have to pay for any cell phone service. Of course, I doubt AT&T would let that happen, but you know what I mean?
Yeah, but Puerto Rico is a wonderful place to visit. Beautiful beaches, beautiful men, cheap rum. I love my husband, don't get me wrong. But sometimes I like a little eye candy.
On the sell out thing, I'm a little Taoist in nature. So I do consider middle class worldly goods. Like I said, I don't see anything wrong with having worldly goods, just not at the expense of my children. I harp on my husband so much about that because sometimes we struggle from pay to pay, and I want to build a savings to fall back on, but he's the type to think if we have some money in savings, then he should buy himself a guitar or something like that. I'm trying to explain to him that the kids come first. When we are set with a basic financial portfolio that lets me sleep at night knowing my kids will be okay even if my husband loses his job (which is highly probable in this day and age), then we can splurge some money we might of saved if kept saving.
I could be very wrong on the intention of abortion to begin with. I wasn't alive in the 60's, and I'm just basing on what little I've read regarding it.
Having a baby would dramatically change my life is another way of saying, oops. Since most of the abortions in that study took place for that reason, yeah, many women do go through an, oops, let's have an abortion.
On the killing a living being and me being vegan. Well, animals are different than people, and people who have abortions don't eat what they kill. So they are two totally different subjects. No I'm not vegan. Actually I love red meat. I prefer it to white meat because I am white meat. In fact, if you look at all the creatures on earth, most of them are white meat. What we construe as red meat generally looks like it was created to be food. I don't like wild red meat like deer or buffalo. Too gamey in taste. I prefer whatever I can go buy down at the grocery store. But, some guy my hubby works with is planning to slaughter some cows soon and was offering us some fresh meat. I'm looking forward to trying that to see the difference compared to what I do buy at the grocery store. Next time I'm in Puerto Rico too, I want to buy a live chicken and have someone show me hands on how to kill it, strip it or whatever you call it, and cook it. I don't know if I can do that or not, but it would be like you know some African tribes that kill a lion with their bare hands can enter manhood type thing. I'd like to do that for my entry into womanhood now that I'm a mom (read further first).
I know being a mom doesn't make a girl a woman. It just did for me. I had no idea how immature I really was until I had kids. Then on top of it, before I had kids, I was like a dude. But now that I had daughters, all the sudden, I like pink, romantic movies, girly songs, conversations about style, etc. No my girls are not little princesses or girly girls. I want to raise them to be bad ass in pink. Like the new Charlie's Angels movies.
As far as abortion is concerned... I was pro choice, I switched my stand to Pro Life. There's nothing you can't really spit out at me that is a major point that I haven't already used against people like me. Some minor points, I'm pretty impressed. Either way, it's one of those things that we can debate on and on about, and it's not going to change either one of our minds. That's how the pro life and pro choice thing is. It's a serious debate that's been going on for quite some time.
As for law, I think the middle ground would be for Congress to define a person including when a person becomes a person and when they stop being one (like when life begins and life ends type thing) for purposes of law, especially regarding murder, child abuse, assault, etc. Whether they determine a person a person at conception, at 24 weeks into a pregnancy, or at child birth, they need to make up their mind on that and use it consistently. Creating laws that contradict other laws because nobody can define this for law only adds to the debate rather than a solution. When I say creating laws that contradict each other, I am referring to my main example of it's a person in the womb when the mom is assaulted, but it's not a person when aborted. Then abortion before the zef is a person type thing would then just be part of healthcare, and offering more services such as that would be a non-government issue except that government health benefits should cover that in addition to birth control. The government should not require anyone to provide said services (that doesn't mean that they do, I know they don't, and it should stay that way).
If women are concerned about women's rights on the fundamental right level, then it should be more about a woman's right to reproduce rather than a right to abort so that women can have the freedom to succeed as a mom and should be offered the same opportunities as the man. I know that's kinda where FOCA goes, but they take the focus away from reproduction to the right to terminate a pregnancy. Abortion can still be an option for them if all goes wrong as defined by whatever they decide is when a person becomes a person, and any law they make regarding times in a pregnancy when it's okay beyond the time the person is a person such as health affects on the mom (which would be like a murder vs self defense case by case, but you can't have that after the fact if nobody will not break the law to perform the abortion, so the law would have to stipulate exceptions for that case). I'm not about banning abortions. I'm just about taking the focus of women's rights off abortions and place it where it's needed more, and that's on the right of being a mom. I'm sick of all these men expecting us to do all the freaking work, and then they set up obstacles against it. They want us to bring home money while we raise our kids, but they don't want to hire pregnant women, women with newborns, or grant maternity leave. They also don't care that child care is really expensive and the free crap the states offer is a you get what you pay for type thing. Some men don't even care if the kid is fed or clothed, but they care about the mom having the kid. In many cases of even abortion, a woman wants to have a kid but is afraid she's not ready for it because of all the obstacles men have placed in front of us. Reality is, men should be making it easier for us to bring children into the world rather than easier for us to have abortions. That doesn't mean remove the option of abortion. It just means women need to wake up and take what we really need. We need the freedom to reproduce more than the freedom to abort. That's what I believe, and you may disagree, but it's not a stupid belief here on my part. It may not be the answer to all the problems, but i think it offers more of a solution than most anyone else has offered.
Yes, I did:
...A third developmental landmark presented by proponents of the neurological view occurs at 20 weeks. Some advocates of the philosophy that a prerequisite for humanness is the capacity for rational thought believe that the existence of a primitive nervous system after 8 weeks, with the ability to respond by reflex to stimulation, does not amount to rational thought. The embryological landmark of 20 weeks marks the completion of the development of the thalamus, a region of the brain, which enables the integration of the nervous system. Philosophers who support this view therefore believe that only after 20 weeks of gestation can the embryo be said to have the capacity for rational thought.
Not to mention:
I notice you specifically left out the vast majority of the neurological entry:
An electroencephalogram (EEG) is a simple medical procedure in which electrodes are attached to different locations on a patient's head and the voltage difference over time is measured between the two points. The voltage data is plotted against time to produce "brain waves" with up and down voltage oscillations that are representative of the organized electrical activity of the brain (Morowitz and Trefil 1992). Medical professionals use a patient's EEG pattern to identify a broad spectrum of mental states. Although EEGs are often used as a diagnostic tool, the exact mechanism behind how an EEG pattern is linked to an individual's cerebral neuron activity remains a mystery (Morowitz and Trefil 1992).
Despite lacking a precise explanation for the connection between the EEG and neural activity, there is a strong argument that the unique and highly recognizable EEG pattern produced by a mature brain is a defining characteristic of humanity (Morowitz and Trefil 1992). Therefore, the moment that a developing fetus first exhibits an EEG pattern consistent with that of a mature brain is indicative of the beginning of human life. It is from this point and onward during development that the fetus is capable of the type of mental activity associated with humanity (Morowitz and Trefil 1992).
Because the state of modern technology still prohibits EEGs in utero, brain activity data for humans at various stages of development has been gathered using premature infants. Observations to date have led to the conclusion that 25 weeks of gestation is required for the formation of synapses needed for recognizable neural activity. At this point in development, the recognizable signals exist only as intermittent bursts that interrupt periods of random activity (Morowitz and Trefil 1992). This conclusion is summarized by Donald Scott who in his book Understanding the EEG wrote, "Attempts have been made to record cerebral activity of premature infants and they have succeeded (only) if the gestational age was 25 weeks or more (Morowitz and Trefil 1992)." Such claims, as well as arguments that endorse an opposite argument, are for many the foundation for any dispute over defining the inception of human life. Consequently, the principles of the neurological view are tenets in the debate over another controversial subject: abortion.
...the film contends that a fetus has brain waves after 12 weeks and suggests, even in the title "The Silent Scream," that it reacts to its termination with fear and pain. These contentions contradict scientific evidence that indicates neural connections in the cerebral cortex have yet to develop in a 12-week-old fetus. Lacking these basic neural networks, the developing fetus is incapable of feeling the emotions recognized as fear or pain (Morowitz and Trefil 1992).
...At 8 weeks an embryo displays reflexes that are the result of its budding nervous system, but it does not yet have the structures necessary to engage in true rational activity in contrast to mere reflex motivated movement (Shannon and Wolter 1990).
...The precept at the heart of the neurological view of the beginning of human life is the significant development of neural pathways that are critical for characteristic human brain activity. The formation of these neural connections is often viewed to culminate in the acquisition of humanness, a stage during the third trimester of human gestation when the overwhelming majority of neural pathways in the cerebral cortex are established (Morowitz and Trefil 1992). The contemporary concept of the acquisition of humanness was developed and elaborated during the later half of the twentieth century by theological and biological leaders who emphasized the importance of the cerebral cortex in characterizing humanness. The Jesuit scholar and anthropologist scientist Pierre Teilhard de Chardin presented his belief that the transcendence of humanity was dependant upon the successful maturation of the cerebral cortex. Bernard Haring, a prominent Catholic theologian of the 1970s argued that individuality and the uniqueness of personal characteristics and activities originated from the cerebral cortex. A decade later, the anatomist Paul Glees argued "the (cerebral cortex) represents the signature of a genetically unique person" (Morowitz and Trefil 1992).
The contemporary idea of the acquisition of humanness is based on the contemporary theories of developmental embryology. Cerebral nerve cells accumulate in number and continually differentiate through the end of the second trimester of human pregnancy (Morowitz and Trefil 1992). However, it is not until the seventh month of gestation that a significant number of connections between the newly amassed neurons begin to take form. It is only after the neurons are linked via synapse connections that the fetus is thought to acquire humanness. Just as a pile of unconnected microchips is incapable of functioning and is therefore not called a computer, the unconnected neurons of the pre 24-week fetal brain lack the capacity to function, thus the developing fetus has yet to acquire humanness (Morowitz and Trefil 1992).
What you have done is known as 'quote mining.' It takes selected passages from a whole and pieces them together to raise doubt or to present a case that is diametrically opposed to the clear purpose of the whole. It has been used to claim that Stephen J. Gould believed that evolution was failing and that climate scientists do not believe that global warming is taking place; claims that sea ice is increasing can even be extracted from papers that show the opposite. It is a fundamentally dishonest practice.
can you cite a paper, or even come up with a good theoretical argument, that says that EEGs somehow change between a zef in utero and the same premature infant?
Are you familiar with the term 'reflex arc'? It's what causes you to pull your hand off of a hot burner before you even feel the pain. It's also what causes your leg to twitch when the doctor hits your knee with a hammer. It requires no thought, no pain, no consciousness. Flatworms have reflex arcs. It's not a sign of humanity.
Bull. People argue over obvious things all the time because they don't want to face the consequences of the facts. Oil company execs, and the scientists in their pockets, constantly argue that global warming isn't happening (or that, if it is, it's a good thing); that doesn't mean that we can't prove that the earth is warming.
I suggest you read the whole passage again.
Ok, I'll agree with you on that: when a zef is capable of describing its pain on a 1-10 scale, it's clearly capable of feeling pain as both a sensation and an emotion.
I mean that a brain is a minimum requirement. At six weeks, there is not a complete brain. At 25 weeks, there is a brain complete enough that we can measure human EEG waves. Despite the fact that the brain clearly has some development to go, I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt and agree with current standards that start placing significant limits on abortion at the start of the 3rd trimester.
Honey, I'm not the one forming emotionally laden neologisms for procedures that are already clearly described and named.
Public policy should not be made on the basic of illogical emotion. Nurses may 'feel' that they are helping their patients with 'therapeutic touch' (ie, waving their hands around over the patient), but that doesn't mean that Medicare should pay them for it. Some Catholics may 'feel' that birth control is murder, but that doesn't mean that birth control should be outlawed.
Making laws and policy based on emotion and irrationality was what gave us the dark ages. They were called The Dark Ages because the vast majority of people were poor, miserable, died young, and were enslaved to the soil they worked; no scientific, medical, or philosophical progress happened for a thousand years.
STARTS being the key word. Just because there's a lightbulb in the socket does not mean that there will be light when you flip the switch; there has to be wiring between the two.
*snort*
You don't get out much, do you?
that is incorrect.
http://www.alaska.net/~clund/e_djublons ... ociety.htm
That is also incorrect. Not only is sexual transmission of HIV denied, but the whole idea that HIV causes AIDS is denied.
http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articl ... id=1949841
http://pages.prodigy.net/johnhunter2/hivaids.htm
And then you proceeded to prove the point - twice!
And you continue to dig. You equate the PC position with infanticide. We get it. You can stop now (That's not out of context, btw; I've cited your complete statement).
I have said that it approaches personhood enough by week 24 that significant restrictions should be placed on abortion - restrictions which you agreed with in earlier posts, btw. Life and health of the mother. Fetal abnormality. Not exactly controversial.
Explore their website a bit. You might be surprised. Now works on equal pay for equal work, it works on paid maternity leave, it's working on ensuring that women with infants not only have breaks to pump breast milk, but that they don't have to go to some grungy bathroom to do so. You hear more about them wrt the abortion issue because it's more 'newsworthy' (in the sensationalist sense), but they do quite a lot.
Every emotion you feel is hormones and neurotransmitters. That's why a pill can make you happy, contented, sad, or even suicidal. That's why brain damage can turn a normal, kind individual into a complete bastard with no inhibitions.
It's not legally a person until it's born. It's not separate and autonomous until it's born. It's almost a person at week 25, and should be given the benefit of the doubt whenever possible. Is that clear enough? Personhood is analog, not digital.
Uh... I think you mean Merriam-Webster Dictionary?
Etymology is often worthless wrt current meaning. Think of words like 'awesome' or 'gnarly' used by teens a decade or two ago, or 'pimp' used by kids today.
Urrr... weren't you trying to prove above that you are not making that claim? The claim that an abortion is child abuse/infanticide?
http://www.lawguru.com/dictionary/term. ... text=child
http://dictionary.lp.findlaw.com/script ... 8e2c5348cc
Actually, someone under 18 is a 'minor.' A 'child' is under 14.
{looking around}
What?
What are we doing her, if not debate?
I assure you, I am well aware of the arguments pro and con for abortion, and pain, and of the existence of debate. I've been doing this for years.
Find me a significant proportion of neurologists who think that a zef before the 3rd trimester can feel pain, and I'll accept that there's a scientific debate over whether zefs of that age can feel pain.
Not only equating abortion with murder, but with cannibalism as well! ...you're not making this better, you know.
The treatment is to remove the fetus. The other option would be to confine the woman on suicide watch, and then force her to give birth to a child she didn't want.
...what argument of mine was this in response to?
arguing just to argue? Hmmm. I've been accused of that before. It's one of my aspie compulsions: when someone says something incorrect, I correct them. It doesn't endear me to many people, but it's like a reflex. I usually start with, "Well, actually..."
Neither do I. I don't need a weapon at all. But a gun would sure make it easier.
Well, it's not exactly difficult (easy to set up, not a lot of force required) - but the problem with that is that you have to get close enough to touch them, which means that they're close enough to touch you.
Wow, congrats! I've been accused of being a satanist, but never a demon myself!
Will is very important, but training is good because it hardwires in certain defenses in cases where one is surprised but not killed with the initial attack. Training also increases confidence.
Aikido actually has a reputation for being a relatively useless martial art, because a lot of dojos are quite 'soft.' People from my dojo occasionally get into trouble when we go train somewhere else, and end up hitting people in the face because we expect them to move. That said, I really do hope I'm never in a postition to test my training IRL.
Uggh. Don't know what I'd do about that; enlist my brother's help, maybe. I'll also remember never to date any CIA agents (who admit that they're agents, anyway).
Definitely. The police in Portland, OR, were way more professional than the ones where I currently live. Do Police have continuing ed requirements, like HCPs? They should, if they don't.
IIrc some states have enacted anti-stalking laws.
WTF?!? A paramedic can't even tell a patient that she's going to treat him against his will without it being legal assault. If she actually touches him - even with the intent to help - it's legally battery. Barring someone's egress is Assault. Making threats is Assault. I think that cop was just being a lazy ass. I can't believe that California is that different from Wyoming.
There is no reason whatsoever to believe that an EEG would be different inside or outside the womb, and anatomical evidence backs up the EEG data. There simply aren't a whole lot of connections within the brain before the 3rd trimester.
Actually, one is supposed to be taking folic acid *before* the pregnancy, because the early foundation is so important for a healthy baby later on. The Bush II admin put out standards that said GPs are supposed to treat all women of child-bearing age as "pre-pregnant" (I am not making this up) in their recommendations of health practices, sending PCs like myself into a paranoid tizzy. Luckily, most of the medical community pretty much ignored the Bush II admin as much as legally possible.
agreed - it was the women who come in through the ER that I was referring to in my initial statement, but I think I mentioned that I don't know how late the average woman finds out. If not, I should have. Women who are very in-tune with their bodies, and who are not afraid to go to the doctor or ER for discomfort or wierd feelings, will notice something different and get diagnosed quite early - but I don't know how many women pay that much attention to themselves. Most probably chalk it up to indigestion or something.
A sin is a crime against god, not against the church. And, anyway, even my grandparents don't go to confession any more! But I freely agree that different parishes have different atmospheres. Last two times I was in church were for funerals, and both times the priest harrangued the 'flock' about how nobody goes to mass anymore except for funerals, weddings, and holy high days.
I figured. It's funny about the various sects, though - different sects really do seem to inspire different ways of looking at the world. I generally tend to get along with Catholics, former Catholics, Episcopalians, Jews, and non-religious Jews far better than, say, Baptists or Pentecostals - despite being about as non-religious as a person can be. Another odd thing is that the Catholics who convert to Episcopalian churches seem to be way harsher on Catholicism than the Catholics who leave the church all together.
If they would just stick to spiritual consultation, they might have fuller churches. Spirituality should be a source of joy, not punishment.
I vacillate on how much respect I should give religion. In general, I see it as overall being a source of more evil in the world than good. The idea that 'faith' (defined as belief in a position without, or even despite, the evidence) is a good thing is terribly pernicious and harmful to society. I simply can't respect something that does so much harm, even if it sometimes comforts the person who holds it.
Tell me this: if you honestly believed that the teachings of your god required you to kill or convert infidels, and that not only yourself but your entire family would be rewarded with eternity in paradise (with or without virgins) if you did so, would you think that suicide bombing was such a bad idea?
And since you honestly believe (or so I understand from reading your posts here) that killing someone who is about to commit an act of terror is ok, and that the vast majority of abortions are for poor reasons, and that abortion is child abuse and/or murder after five weeks, do you honestly think that it's a bad idea for PL activists to bomb abortion clinics or ram them with their vehicles, or to shoot Ob/Gyns who perform abortions?
Most couples have as many children as they want by the time they're in their early 30s. They should have themselves sterilized after that, but if they don't for whatever reason, they're supposed to stop making love for the rest of their lives together? Or if the man's vasectomy fails (as they sometimes do), they're supposed to just shrug and start with a new child in their 40s?
That's a non-sequitur to me; I don't equate 'rape' and 'sex,' especially not in the context of an otherwise loving marriage. But every woman feels differently about it, I guess. If they are similar to you, I can totally see how sex wouldn't be all that important or desirable to you.
No, they don't HAVE to. But if they don't, there was a pretty big problem with the relationship before the pregnancy ever came along.
Do you know why she had the abortion, if it was late? Afaik women usually have pretty good reasons at that stage.
Also, I honestly believe (until I'm presented with evidence to the contrary) that a strong marriage gets stronger through adversity, including abortion OR having an unplanned child. A weak marriage will fail eventually from adversity, including abortion or an unplanned child or even a planned one.
You're right; that was extreme. It's probably about as frequent as the abortion-from-rape scenario.
Thanks to Bush II, pharmacists and any other HCPs can legally refuse to participate or to refer for any procedure or treatment, including birth control, that violates their morality. Obama has promised to overturn it.
http://www.feministing.com/archives/013944.html
Not abortions, per se, but controlling their own fertility.
But the pregnancy is seen as proof that she had sex, so she has to either hide (get rid of) the pregnancy, or face a dishonorable?
What divides the ones who get dishonorables from the ones who don't?
Glad to hear that.
Uhh... Wow. I can't say that I approve of your solution, but on the other hand I can't say that I like the army's policy or the wars we're fighting either.
My sensei's wife also trained in Aikido, and she trained until the week she gave birth.
What?!? You're joking?!
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(shaking head)
You make me very glad I never joined the military.
Well, it's true that women should be responsible for themselves and not do stupid things, and it's true that life is not fair - but the entire legal system exists in the first place in an attempt to make life more fair than it would otherwise be. The JUSTICE system. Saying that a man can go out drinking and be fine, but a woman can expect to be raped if she does (and that it's somehow not rape if she had a drink) is not fair, and it's within the purview of the justice system to recognize that.
True... but. If I loved someone and wanted sex, but was afraid to have it for fear of getting pregnant, either the strain would kill me or I'd leave the relationship. I can't imagine facing down two or three decades of unrequited love - I'd move on with my life. (Not. In reality, I'd get my tubes tied - I don't get why people (at least, those not facing war unless they get pregnant) don't want to do that).
What was this in response to?
But 'most' women who go to college are not raped. Not even half of them. Heck, not even a quarter of them. I've heard some pretty ugly things about how the majority of women are treated in the military.
yes, that's an accurate summation of their beliefs - but I've already made it clear what I think about 'faith' determining public policy.
I agree, and the fact that the church would rather stop adoptions all together than risk 'polluting' their business by dealing with gays is one more nail in the coffin of my respect for it.
Basically stating that fundamental rights are rights held higher than other rights including the bill of rights which include freedom of speech and freedom of religion.
from your source:
— Thomas G. Walker
Wikipedia: Fundamental right
A fundamental right is a right that has its origin in a country's constitution or that is necessarily implied from the terms of that constitution. These fundamental rights usually encompass those rights considered natural human rights.
The job of the SCOTUS is to determine if a legislated law is permitted by the constitution. The legislature can pass a bill, and the President can sign it into law, but the SCotUS can knock it down if it goes against the constitution, even if the words 'fundamental right' are written into the law.
(a) STATEMENT OF POLICY- It is the policy of the United States that every woman has the fundamental right to choose to bear a child, to terminate a pregnancy prior to fetal viability, or to terminate a pregnancy after fetal viability when necessary to protect the life or health of the woman.
(b) PROHIBITION OF INTERFERENCE- A government may not--
(1) deny or interfere with a woman's right to choose--
(A) to bear a child;
(B) to terminate a pregnancy prior to viability; or
(C) to terminate a pregnancy after viability where termination is necessary to protect the life or health of the woman; or
(2) discriminate against the exercise of the rights set forth in paragraph (1) in the regulation or provision of benefits, facilities, services, or information.
This bill specifies only that governments may not interfere with this right. However, if it will make you happy I'll see if I can ask one of the Sisters (my hospital is run by a group of nuns) whether or not they're worried about its passage wrt. us being forced to shut down or do abortions. Next day I work is Wednesday evening (there might not be any Sisters in the hospital by the time I get to work, but if I see one I'll ask her).
There are lots of things that governments cannot do that private organizations can. Look at all the discrimination that the Boy Scouts get away with, for example, that would be absolutely illegal for a government entity.
Oh, I don't doubt at all that the Catholic church is vehemently opposed to FOCA; I just doubt that FOCA will affect Catholic hospitals.
Tell me about it.
Likewise.
Getting an STD is natural. Treating an STD is not natural.
The act is the solution to being stupid, not stupid itself.
No, I am not. If you continue to disagree on this point, please quote me where I initiated a claim that abortion is infanticide.
Oh, it's possible; it's just a hell of a lot less likely.
http://www.stayteen.org/get-informed/default.aspx
http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/costs/default.aspx
That's why we had to shut down the foster care system for lack of unwanted/uncared for children! I always wondered about that.
That's really great for them, but it's not in line with statistics.
Good point on divorce
Yeah, I hear you about the cars. I just got a new car (for the first time in my life!). It's itty-bitty and relatively cheap, but it's a Honda so hopefully the thing will run for a 300K miles. It's also a lovely color of dark, dark purple. Most importantly, though, I can leave work on a dark night and be confident that my car will start when I get in; the simple security of it is wonderful.
I don't have a cell phone now; I dropped mine after the 'pre-paid' option was changed to cost a minimum of $25 a month (I don't talk on the phone that much). Since I already pay that much for a landline (cells won't work at my house), I didn't think it was worth it. I *do* have a PDA, I admit; my mother got it for me for my birthday, because I'm so bloody absent-minded that I can literally agree to take an extra shift tomorrow and then forget that I did so when I wake up tomorrow morning. It hasn't quite saved my life, but it has saved my job. I also have an iPod, which I bought used from a co-worker for $25.
I'll keep that in mind; I don't really drink much, but I've actually been thinking about going to south/central America to practice my Spanish, and Costa Rica was one of the places I've considered. I speak enough to barely get by with Spanish-only patients at the hospital, but I'd like to be actually conversant. And eye-candy doesn't harm anyone. Actually a friend of mine from high school married a man from Honduras, and he is just about the sweetest guy you'll ever meet. I also have to admit that the Hispanic families that come into the hospital seem, on average, extremely well-adjusted.
LOL I'm a little more 'middle-way' Buddhist in philosophy. My keyword is 'balance.' But I see your point wrt. Guitar vs. say, new shoes when the kids grow out of them. What it all comes down to, though, is that I don't consider a first-trimester zef a person, child or otherwise; I don't see the decision as being between 'guitar or unborn child's college fund.' I'm struggling to think of a good metaphor, because as I've said I would probably keep a pregnancy at this stage in my life... I guess it would have been, 'embryo vs. future college degree' for me, back in the day, if I had been forced to make the choice.
That's a little bit like saying that it's 'oops' when someone realizes that they've done their taxes wrong and will have to sell their house and business in order to pay back the IRS. 'Oops' doesn't quite cover it.
I was actually arguing a little bit of semantics. Cows are 'living beings,' so saying that an abortion kills a 'living being' doesn't mean a lot if one also eats cows. The point is that abortion kills a 'living human being,' and then the question arises of what human is.
?? Do you mean that metaphorically?
'Cause I've seen plenty of living human flesh from trauma, and plenty of dead human cadavers, and none of them had 'white meat.'
Well, sure - mammals are a tiny branch of all extant species, no matter how biased we humans are about our particular clade.
I agree, unfortunately. I've never had buffalo, but I had to spit out the last piece of venison I tried to eat. I'd love to be able to appreciate someone's gift when they bring me jerkey from a deer they've killed themselves, but I just can't stand the stuff.
I don't actually eat very much meat at all, but I know it's been too long when I walk by the butcher's counter and start thinking how tasty the raw liver looks.
I used to fish a lot with my dad, so I know I can kill and gut a fish; I think it'd be different with something that was warm, though.
Huh. I've never been into that stuff; you make me wonder.
If you can believe it, my current position (allowing significant restrictions in the 3rd trimester) is a backdown from where I used to be, after I first started arguing abortion on the internet years ago. There was a brief time period on one particular board where everyone on both sides was actually calm and logical, and I think we all made some progress. Eye of the hurricane, I guess.
I don't know enough about the laws as they currently stand to comment much on that, except that I agree that the 'fetal harm' laws are inconsitent.
I agree that mothers should have more support and more opportunities to succeed, but defining 'women's rights' as 'mother's rights' turns women who do not have and/or do not want children into legal non-entities. We already get discriminated against (so do mothers, but in a different way) for not having kids ('What's wrong with you?' 'Can't find a man?' 'You must be selfish!' 'You're not a real woman until you've had a child.' etc.); I really wouldn't want it codified.
Ahhh, the good old conservative 'it's alive from conception until birth' phenomenon. Talk about straw men! Only unfortunately, these straw men actually exist. They give women crap for having abortions, and they give women crap for working rather than staying home with their children, and they give women crap for taking welfare so that they won't have to work as much. That's where PCs get the idea that PLs are all about controlling women rather than concern for the kid.
Mmmm. I flinch at the use of the word 'men' as exclusive causative agents for all our woes; even if it's almost entirely men in positions of power, women do vote.
Also, I think that we *do* have the 'right to reproduce,' as much as we want (ever heard of the Duggars?); we absolutely could use more societal support, though. I think that's part of where the hispanic families excel.
I also think that we could use more bc access and education, and more social willingness to use the more effective, longer-term options like IUDs and sterilization.
If PCs and PLs come to an agreement, that seems to be where they meet: prevent unwanted pregnancies in the first place.
I wasn't trying to quote mine as much as highlight the part for which I was discussing. I'm not stating that anything in the article is false. I'm just stating that there is a debate between it, and whoever wrote the article quoted sources to say that the debate should not continue to occur because this other source says this. The fact of the matter is that someone debates them in their world of expertise.
It said they did EEGs on premature infants cause they couldn't measure it in the womb. I said it's possible it could change outside of the womb, and I don't need to quote anybody on that because obviously EEG hasn't been done to the "zef" inside the womb to gather such evidence. Outside of that, we can only assume based on what we know about the human body.
I'm not trying to say you are right or wrong on the subject of pain. I'm saying great minds are debating it. It's not like the earth is round type of debate.
I never said giving words emotional values should change the law. i'm just saying it's not a way to prove your argument by arguing the way people argue when it has no foundation on what they are arguing. IN all my debates, I can change the word baby to pregnancy or zef or whatever, and it still wouldn't change what I was saying. A real debate isn't about which noun you chose over it's synonyms. It's about what point you are trying to make. No matter what you want to call it, the day I found out I was pregnant was the day I knew I was carrying a baby inside me. That's why I give it emotional value. It has nothing to do with my argument on abortion.
Science is clear on the earth being round. Nobody really debates that, although I'm sure there are some select individuals out there who think otherwise. As I see, you showed me. But when scientists are arguing with themselves outside of strange extreme groups that probably need medication, then no, it's not proven until there is full agreement that somebody was able to come with a way to prove what they think beyond a shadow of doubt to where the vast majority says, "you're freaking right." Just because nobody could prove the earth being round before they did didn't change the fact, but it did change what people in general perceive as fact. Until we get proof, we don't know what is real and what is logically flawed. But if it is so apparent that your theory is most accurate and most correct, then that's what the law should go with. I wanted something measurable, and saying at x amount of weeks is measurable enough.
You are the only one equating abortion with murder and infanticide. Again, I was just using your logic against you.
Also please quit putting words in my mouth. "Not only equating abortion with murder, but with cannibalism as well! ...you're not making this better, you know. " PLEASE STOP THAT. Again, I was using your logic. If you don't like your own logic, then quit using it. You are saying that the law should be written to benefit stupid people. I'm telling you that stupidity is no excuse for any criminal. Therefore, it is not written to serve stupidity. But why don't you just keep putting words in my mouth to say I'm equating abortion with whatever example I come up with because you are obviously incapable of debating the point I was obviously trying to make, so you exploit the syntax to work in your favor.
You said a person is a person when they have a brain which is when they can see EEG patterns which is at 24 weeks. You never said all that other jive until just now about a person being more of a person before being totally a person.
BTW, some women do not bond at all with their baby after the baby is born. If you are saying that it a result of a hormonal disorder or a neurotransmitter issue, then it would sure save more infant lives than abortion. Mind you, I say that because you stated previously that the dumpster babies could have been avoided by abortion, but obviously, they can also be avoided by hormone replacement therapy.
Thank you for correcting my spelling. I tend to do more than just sit here think and type. I will sit down, and three minutes into something, one of the kids starts crying or I hear a loud noise that is of concern. I probably get up over 100 times for every post I respond to. It takes me hours to do because I spend more time on interruptions than not. Sometimes, I finish typing what I can before getting up to a crying baby, but I have the crying baby on my mind when I'm typing. IN addition, my two year old doesn't sleep much, so neither do I. Recently, i haven't really slept in a couple of days. Certain things I have to wait till the kids fall asleep to do, so and once that happens, I haven't really had time for myself after I do what needs done. I could have if I weren't typing on here, so that's why I'm trying to wean myself away from this debate. So if Merriam Webster was the only thing I mispelled, I'm doing pretty good.
Ugghhhh! I wasn't claiming I THOUGHT abortion was child abuse. I was claiming that BY LAW, it would be. Instead of changing my argument to serve your favor, how about for once you change your own? I'm not totally asking you to cave except that maybe just admit that child abuse laws should define a child from the time a zef/person/whatever becomes a child to the age the person stops being a child.
No, there are other treatments for "mental distress" than suicide watch and abortion. In fact, some women have taken drugs like Zoloft through their pregnancy. In addition, there's other treatments such as psychotherapy, yoga, whatever. I've never met a pregnant woman who thought she wasn't suffering from some sort of mental distress. If they are suicidal, then you weigh out the risks of medication as well as look into your other options. Now, consider what starving artist said. If abortion was only legal for rape, a lot of women would be claiming rape to get an abortion. Now, if abortion is only legal after viability for medical reasons only, then wouldn't it make sense that many would claim that without actually having one just to get the abortion? Then you got to think, something like mental distress is too easy. Given nobody goes to jail over mental distress like the rape example, but I'm just saying it would be abused.
CIA agents aren't bad. I've known a few. They make for decent dates. Now of course, you'd want to avoid the stalkers that work with the CIA.
On religion and your paragraph. First, I personally have no religion. I'm thinking about Catholicism, but I'm pretty much a free spirited Christian. I believe in God, and He is. But as far as religions speaking on His behalf, I get a little fuzzy on it. I'm against any religion teaching murder. And that includes to right any wrong. I understand the concept that Americans are probably not well liked in other regions of this world. I think they'd go further to come to our country and utilize our freedom of speech system rather than breaking our rules against murder. I don't know how I'd react to the extreme religious ideals if raised in that country; however, I will say I was raised around a lot of Born Again Christians early on, and I didn't fall for a bunch of that bull s**t, even at a very young age. I don't think it's okay to kill someone who is about to commit an act of terror, but I believe in self defense. I also believe in protecting people I love. So yeah, if a terrorist was on the plane just to fly, and i knew he was a terrorist, I'd probably go so far to report him to authorities so they can investigate him. But if he was making any life threats to anyone on the plane, especially if my children were aboard, then I believe I have every right morally, legally, and justifiably to kill the bastard. Abortions pose no threat to me or the people I love, so you won't see me bombing an abortion clinic. I do think abortions are wrong. I also think it's wrong to get someone fired because you don't like the way they look. I don't beat those people up, even though I might imagine it sometimes when I'm the one who got fired, but I don't go beating them up. Now if I was the one who got aborted, you probably wouldn't want to see me in hell. But that's all speculation.
If you ever get bored, read about the psychological symptoms rape victims often have after a rape. It's not about equating sex to rape. It's about PTSD.
In the military, she doesn't have to hide the pregnancy. They don't DNA test all babies to see who the father is. If she's in love with a member on the other side (officer vs enlisted), they are usually nice about allowing a separation due to a pregnancy without needing info on the father. She could separate and marry her officer, or she can continue to stay in and keep seeing him on the down low, or they can just tell everyone they knew each other and dated before they joined the military. The military advertises early on with a lot of emphasis that enlisted and officers are not to date or be close friends unless they knew each other before their military career. Anyone who gets into that predicament knew what was coming. But I understand you can't choose who you love.
The type of discharge is generally decided by what the military outlines in their policy. But certain people do have a right to decide on your outcome. Like if I separated because my contract ended, then generally I'd be facing an Honorable Discharge. But, if I got into some trouble before hand, my commander could put restrictions on that. For example, say I skipped PT a lot and got an Article 15 over it. Then in that paperwork, somewhere along the way, it can keep my discharge at Honorable but without the option to re-enlist. Most of the time, you are honorable discharge unless you did something to cause someone to change the way it's going to be. And it can't be anyone changing your discharge, but someone like the Commander or as a result of military court. Like the guy that raped me was looking at an honorable discharge, but because he raped me and other things, he's probably going to be facing a dishonorable discharge. But rape isn't the most common dishonorable discharge as many gals don't report their rapes. So, it's kinda like drinking and driving won't always get you a DUI, but if you got caught, your screwed. If the Commander wanted to be a dick, he probably could play with many aspects of your military career including your discharge. You can fight that in and then once again out, but it's best to not have to. Now a medical discharge is often as a result of your health status. I've been threatened a medical discharge by someone who was incapable of doing so as a result of office politics. It's also a bunch of paperwork and takes a very long time to go through. You also have general discharges meaning without honor but also without dishonor. And you can have a general discharge under honorable conditions and I don't know what makes that different than an honorable discharge except maybe that a person separated for reasons outside of the contracted agreement, or for their personal reasons rather than government needs. I don't know if there is a general discharge under dishonorable conditions. I got an honorable discharge, so i'm only basing this off what I see with people I knew in the military. Even then, I'm sure I didn't get the full story on a lot of it.
What's the difference between it once out? First off, VA benefits. They have their own definitions of whether or not your discharge qualifies you or not, but if you are honorable, there's no questions asked about that. If you have a dishonorable discharge, then they will question you to see if you qualify for their benefits as far as for the type of separation type thing. Like my rapist probably won't get VA benefits. However, a girl I knew that was General Discharge due to depression due to rape (she really might have been a few sandwiches shy of a full picnic before her rape), now she would probably qualify for VA Benefits no matter what her discharge papers say. In addition, Dishonorable discharge is like having a felony on your record. It doesn't look good on your record for cases of employment, court, etc. The worst part of a dishonorable discharge is it means not only did you not leave with any honor, but with dishonor. It's humiliating. Many military members like myself look at stuff like that kinda like in the movie mulan and the eastern culture placing large emphasis on honor. That's the reason I personally would choose death over dishonor. Death is happening to me someday anyway. My honor is what survives my death.
I do come up with some pretty irrational solutions. At least I'm aware at how irrational a thought may be. For instance, I get no help from my family and friends with my kids. I always help them, but I am not getting any from them. I am with my kids 24/7 most of the time (I do get breaks, but not regularly). The only person who babysits is my husband. It's not fair that my sister and her bf go out all the time alone, sometimes all night, and my husband and I don't get that. My mom will watch my sister's kids, but not mine. I get so angry sometimes that I do think maybe I should just move to Puerto Rico where my inlaws care enough to want to see my children. I know it's irrational. Outside of the crime rate and the low job availability and lousy pay options and the fact that I don't speak much Spanish, I know my inlaws would drive me crazy. Crazier than my family does. So I think about it sometimes, and I threaten to follow through with it sometimes, but I won't actually do it because I know it's pretty irrational.
The pregnancy one isn't totally irrational because if I am going away for a few months or a year, then I do want to have sex a lot anyway before I go since it will be a while. More so for my husband's sake than my own, but some for my own sake. Either way, I personally kinda do want another baby. I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old, so I'd be crazy to do it now. But I'm already getting teary eyed thinking about my kids when they were newborns, and I really miss that. It's not fair. When you have a newborn, you don't get to sleep really. So, because you are sleep deprived, you don't remember much of it except for often thinking how you don't want to forget this time in your life. At least I forget more than I wanted to remember. Its not just that. I did want to have more children before I even gave birth to my second. Everybody was telling me while I was pregnant with my 2nd, including my husband, that I should get my tubes tied. I kept saying that I wanted to wait on that because I don't think I'll be done having kids. Now, my husband is thinking he might want more too in a couple years. But, on the flipside, I already lost my baby weight and then some. I'd hate to destroy this figure. But maybe another pregnancy would knock my hip back into place and replace the boobs and butt I once proudly had that went away with my weight loss. Either way, since I do want more children, it's not a completely irrational thought to attempt to change the timing to serve my interest.
When I was pregnant with my first baby, I had super strength. I'm not lying. I lifted in my third trimester (though I know I shouldn't have, but it was too easy and didn't feel straining at all) a lawn mower in and out my Escape. I might be able to do it now since my kids weigh 60-70 pounds together and I often carry them both at the same time, but I couldn't have done that before I got pregnant, even when in good military shape, at least not with that much ease. I was doing push ups all the time with her. She came out super strong for a kid her age, and my super strength was gone. I did crave protein so much while pregnant with her. I wonder if that played a role or not. But, when I say she's super strong. As a newborn at like three months, she was hanging off the nurse's fingers when they were trying to get her to sit up for whatever test that is they do. Hanging like monkey bars. The nurse almost s**t herself.
I'm not joking about the UCMJ. Of course, people break those rules. But technically, it is law. The UCMJ won't tell you how to wipe your ass, but it is discussed in the military. But I've never heard of anyone getting kicked out because they did it doggy style or because they went down on a guy. I even knew a girl who got caught going down on a guy in public in tech school, and she didn't get kicked out. She did get into trouble, but they were also drinking when they weren't allowed to, and they might have been in uniform which is different than not being in uniform.
I will say I'm glad I did join the military. Nothing more empowering than having all those rules, a First Shirt who is gunning to get rid of you for whatever reason, and him have people snitching and spying on you, and you still come out on top because you are that f-ing good. Especially when the snitch got kicked out and when nobody showed up to the Shirt's retirement party nor did they appear for the second one they threw for him because nobody showed up to the first even after the Commander told people to go. Not to mention basic training. That was awesome. Couldn't ask for a better vacation. My blood pressure dropped from 130/90 (as it averaged for years before the military) to 90/60 in basic training as it was always that at that time. It progressively went up to a very healthy range in between the two sometime when I got into my first duty station, and it's stayed that way since. Also, I did meet my hubby in the military. And, it really helped us both grow up. You do become a better person through it all. All that aweful stuff builds character. Unless you go through it, you won't know what I'm talking about. It's only bad for people who can't handle it. The only vets, post vietnam era and non drafted, I've heard complain about the military are the ones who didn't survive it (career wise). They just couldn't handle the military. It was too hard for them.
I know what you are saying about laws improving fairness. All I'm saying is I shouldn't have drank that night knowing I was driving myself back on base. Even if I didn't get raped, I shouldn't have done that. Just because some guy breaks the law doesn't excuse my stupidity. It's wonderful that you stand up for me. But, I can't let someone take all the credit for being stupid when i do my fair share of it too sometimes.
LOL at the those not facing war thing for not getting the tubes tied. Like I said, in reality, its not just that. I really do want to have another baby sometime. I don't have to have another one, but I wouldn't mind it.
What was this in response to?
My bad. Ho's. The girl(s) at the party in high school who sat in the bathroom doing blow jobs on a bunch of guys. They weren't at every party. But I've met more than one.
Women can be mistreated in the military, but no where near the mistreatment a prostitute gets. I say that because military was my response to better than hooking. About the only way you can have sex for money and be treated decent is to be a mistress to a guy who does at least halfway decent with income, or marry for reasons outside of love I guess.
And you might of responded to my next one, but since my 2 year old fell asleep and she destroyed a bathroom a little bit ago (very much destroyed it), I better clean that up now and the rest of the house before I go to sleep, and if I don't get off here now, I won't get to sleep another night. I start to get really crazy after three days of no sleep. It used to be a week before I had kids, but I still don't fully feel like myself from all the sleep deprivation I've had up to this point in my life. I still put car keys in teh fridge once in a while for no reason. So yeah, the brain didn't fully come back yet. I also transpose numbers which is something I never did before. My short term memory is gone. And my spelling is getting worse, like even words like vear I am second guessing. Oh, abstinence is one. Veteran is my worst. I keep wanting to say veteren. Sargent, sergeant, whatever. Can't think of that for the life of me, and what's worse, I do remember having that word in a spelling bee once as a kid, and I spelled it right then, but can't think of how to spell it at all for the life of me now. Hence why I usually do a SGT. Anyway, I'm still not sure if it's all resulting from the PTSD or the Placenta Brain, but I do better when I sleep.
So, good night to ya.
No, there are other treatments for "mental distress" than suicide watch and abortion. In fact, some women have taken drugs like Zoloft through their pregnancy. In addition, there's other treatments such as psychotherapy, yoga, whatever. I've never met a pregnant woman who thought she wasn't suffering from some sort of mental distress. If they are suicidal, then you weigh out the risks of medication as well as look into your other options. Now, consider what starving artist said. If abortion was only legal for rape, a lot of women would be claiming rape to get an abortion. Now, if abortion is only legal after viability for medical reasons only, then wouldn't it make sense that many would claim that without actually having one just to get the abortion? Then you got to think, something like mental distress is too easy. Given nobody goes to jail over mental distress like the rape example, but I'm just saying it would be abused.
i'm glad somebody actually read what i posted, but at the same time i think you may have missed my point. making abortion legal only in certain circumstances is just not viable. it would be impossible to sort through and mete out who truly "deserves" to be able to have an abortion and who doesn't--therefore it must be legal in all circumstances, for everyone.
I've never been anywhere else around the Caribbean than Puerto Rico to compare. In fact, I probably will never get to know now that I have in laws in Puerto Rico. If they ever found out I was at a nearby island and didn't take their grandbabies to them, oh I'd be in trouble. Anyway, I can at least tell you about Puerto Rico.
Puerto Rico is Spanish speaking, but English is taught in the schools as a second language, so many Puerto Ricans speak little to very good English as well. I'll tell you what, my women's intuition really kicked in at the Walmart. All the signs were in Spanish, but I found what I was looking for. But their Walmarts close after a certain hour, but they have better stuff in them than here in the states. You may say duh to me on this, but you don't need a passport to go to Puerto Rico. Flights to PR are about the same as to anywhere else in the country. PR has two airports, San Juan (SJU) and Ponce. San Juan is their bigger one. It has more hotels and is along the Atlantic. Very tourist friendly there. Going south like Ponce will take you to the Caribbean. It's about an hour drive from the north coast to the south coast, but a lot of tolls. Puerto Ricans can drive pretty crazy, especially at night. Cops there are required after night fall to keep their flashing lights on the whole time, so you see them a mile away. So, people generally run red lights and stop signs after sunset at like 60 mph. It's a lot like playing grand theft auto. It's actually really fun. And they have no concept, 24/7 of right of way. You have to be very aggressive behind the wheel or you'll sit at a four way stop sign all day. But the worlds second best beach, Flamenco Beach, is at Culebra. It's south, and then you take a fairy boat to the island, but it's white sand, clear water. http://www.islaculebra.com/index.htm My husband's favorite are the rivers, especially in the mountains. And there is a beach with a sunken ship somewhere, and you can swim down to the sunken ship.
Just be careful if you do go to Puerto Rico because of the crime rate.
Now for the culture. I can't speak for hispanics world wide, but judging from my husband's family, they do expect a lot from their women. They respect them very nicely, but they expect a lot. My mother in law was going to school for chemistry, and she used to work in a lab. After she got married and had kids, she became mom. When I went there, she was super mom. She cleaned the house all day long. Mopped three times plus a day. She cooked all three meals from scratch (like not using the instant rice or canned beans), served everybody their plates, picked up their plates, did the dishes with no dishwasher, brought them beers opened the beers, etc. She was and is their servant girl. I truly think it's by her choice than anyone else's. Like she finds more pride in that than she would in the workplace.
I've finally explained to my husband that I can't live like that. I'm the type of person who'd rather sit behind the computer and think. If he can't help out a little around the house, then we are looking at paying for housekeeping services. In his world, the men go out and work, make the money, and the women sit at home (yeah right they just sit) clean, cook, and handle the children. I would just love to be married to a Puerto Rican woman if that were the case. Imagine coming home from work, having someone bring me my food and beer, clean up after me, while I can go to sleep whenever I feel like it, take a shower whenever I feel like, go out with the guys whenever I feel like it leaving my wife home with the kids. I've let it get worse only because I'm not working, and where I come from, a woman brings in money. But with the cost of child care, I doubt I'd find a job that would break even. Being small town, there's a lot of competition for the type of work I've done, and all I got is experience under my belt and some college. I really want to finish my degree at home online, but all my courses I need are the upper level course work, so I'd have to be able to devote the time to it. If my husband can't help out more, then I won't have time or will have a very messy house on many occasions.
Let me tell you something about having kids. All the sudden out of no where, everybody has an opinion on everything you do. Your house might be clean before you have kids, but once you have them, no matter how clean it is, someone will criticize it. They can't just leave it at criticism. No, your kids' cold and flu are grounds for child services to remove your child from your home. Everything you do is wrong. I am a bad mother if I spank your kids, and I am a bad mother if I don't. I am a bad mother if my house is a mess, but I am also a bad mother if I clean all the time because then whose watching the kids? Oh my favorite... I'm an aweful mother because I gave my toddler a chocolate milkshake at 11 AM. That's all I hear anymore from friends and family. So, that's why I put a very big deal on the messy house thing. It just has to be clean, Donna Reed clean, 24/7. I promise you it's not that clean right now (especially my bedroom), but I'm learning to fake it better.
Technically we are white meat. I forget where I've heard that, but I've heard it well more than once. It may look red and juicy while raw, but so does a bird. I can say the bird for sure because I've had cats before and seen what they do to birds. But I guess (I wouldn't know) if you were to cook human flesh, it would be a white meat. Oh hell, let's see what goodsearch has on it...
Well according to wiki on their meat subject
Red meat is darker-coloured meat, as contrasted with white meat. The exact definition varies, but the meat of adult mammals, such as beef, mutton, and horse is invariably considered "red", while domestic chicken and turkey breast meat are invariably considered "white". The "dark" meat portions of poultry (chicken or turkey legs, or all duck) are more similar, physiologically, to red meat. Pork is frequently referred to as "The Other White Meat," although it is considered a red meat.
And according to http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/705800 which is not a credible source at all, but someone made a comment that we were like pork, and that's how I've heard it be. So, we'd be the other white meat but still a red meat so to speak. But,
from http://www.copperwiki.org/index.php/White_meat
Poultry is one of the rare breeds that have a mix of red and white meat. Pig meat is usually red in colour once cooked and white in the raw making it an exception rather than a rule. Pig meat also contains myoglobin though in far lesser amounts than beef. Pork suppliers contest that pork is ‘white meat’ and not red meat. Such facts are circulated for commercial reasons and are not based on nutritional fatcs.
So I guess it would depend on our proportion of myoglobin. That I do not know. And if we are like pork, then we'd still be a red meat. But I guess it depends on how you define white meat vs red meat.
For my reasoning, whether you call white meat or red meat, its about the type of meat you are looking at. Human meat is similar to (in contrast to beef) other meats like chicken, turkey, pork, fish, cat, alligator, shark, whatever. The animals that to me serve the purpose of food are like cows, deer, antelope, buffalo, etc. They are cattle. And cattle produces a red meat. A very obvious red meat. So that's my reasoning, and I like red meat better because it tastes better to me.
And on the daughters making me more girly...
I used to never cry in movies except Delta Force would always get me in that scene where they make the German woman call the Jewish names, and then the first guy you can see tatoos from concentration camps, and the one guy has a daughter that didn't want her daddy to go and she hands him her Cabbage Patch Kid, and then the other guy swears he wasn't Jewish but Catholic, so then the Priest with an Irish last name goes up and says he's Jewish too just like Christ, and the music playing...oh it gets me every time. But, either way, when I got pregnant and still to this day, I cry over everything. Rambo II really gets me sometimes. But also now, Sound of Music will make me cry. I love the Sound of Music. I used to hate it because one girl I used to babysat when I was in high school would make me watch it over and over again. Now, I love watching it all the time with my girls. Even more fun, we break out in song frequently to make our life more like a musical.
In my opinion the only option would be pro choice...Each and every individual can come up with senerios where it is deemed appropriate or condemned. It seems to me especially living in a situation that most can not understand (AS) which is filled with both individual and collective judgement, it is only the individual who knows what is best and can understand what the implications would be for them. I dont know what I would do in that situation, only that either way it would impact me for the rest of my life. The absence of the choice does not halt the performing of abortions. Choice is a personal experience to be decided either way by that individual when all is considered.
No, there are other treatments for "mental distress" than suicide watch and abortion. In fact, some women have taken drugs like Zoloft through their pregnancy. In addition, there's other treatments such as psychotherapy, yoga, whatever. I've never met a pregnant woman who thought she wasn't suffering from some sort of mental distress. If they are suicidal, then you weigh out the risks of medication as well as look into your other options. Now, consider what starving artist said. If abortion was only legal for rape, a lot of women would be claiming rape to get an abortion. Now, if abortion is only legal after viability for medical reasons only, then wouldn't it make sense that many would claim that without actually having one just to get the abortion? Then you got to think, something like mental distress is too easy. Given nobody goes to jail over mental distress like the rape example, but I'm just saying it would be abused.
i'm glad somebody actually read what i posted, but at the same time i think you may have missed my point. making abortion legal only in certain circumstances is just not viable. it would be impossible to sort through and mete out who truly "deserves" to be able to have an abortion and who doesn't--therefore it must be legal in all circumstances, for everyone.
I really did understand what you were trying to say, but even many pro choicers out there think 3rd trimester abortions should be for specific reasons. I don't agree with making abortion legal for the entire 9 months. That's really pushing the murder argument. I know FOCA is trying to define the cut off at viability (before is okay for any reason, and after for specific reasons), but I don't think that's good either because they leave viability to be defined by the practicing doctor for each case. And medical reasons are also defined by the doctor for after viability. The thing might as well just say abortions would be legal for anytime throughout a pregnancy. The thing is after viability or whatever cut off time, many people are against abortions in that time unless it will hurt the mother, and that's what FOCA is trying to cover. I'm just trying to say lawmakers need to define when a person is a person for sake of the murder law as well as other laws. If they want to say after a person is a person for sake of law, and it's during the pregnancy a person becomes a person, and they want to allow abortions after that point for medical reasons to the mom, then they need to stipulate the reasons in law or it will be abused no different than in your example about rape. I personally think in God's Law, abortion would be a sin. But man's law isn't designed for morality. It's designed for the better function of civilization, and therefore, I think banning abortions all together is very harmful to civilization, but I also think allowing partial birth abortions for all reasons as opposed to only life threatening reasons is just as bad for society.
The more I think about it. This is where I truly stand on Pro Life and Pro Choice. I'm TOTALLY BOTH. I about the RIGHT TO CHOOSE LIFE.
I think if anyone were to advocate women's rights, their focus wouldn't be on abortions as much as on reproduction. I understand advocating a women's right to choose, but don't promote the choice to abort more so than the choice to reproduce.
I am a woman, and I never had the desire to have an abortion to care about abortions. I did have the desire to, and I did bring forth children into this world. I think statistics would prove that more women give birth to kids than abort them. I also got fired from my last job for being pregnant, and I also believe I didn't get hired in other jobs (not all jobs I ever applied for after the fact, but a couple) because I was pregnant or had a newborn. Most of the time I'm in public, people act like my kids are insulting and rude because they are kids and act like kids. Of course, you get people who have to tell you that you need to spank your kids, and you know very well if you did spank them in that Walmart to please one person, the other would be on their phone calling child protection services on you, and nobody cares about your decision to discipline the way you think is best for your child. In fact, everybody has an opinion on how all moms should be, and they are very rude about it.
What I can't stand the most is people who act like I'm insulting because the way I mother or because I mother. It's insulting that I don't spank. It's insulting that my children caught the flu. Or that I didn't clean up the baby's mess immediately afterwards because I was working on something on the computer. Or that I don't cook enough or I cook too much from scratch. Or my laundry is behind major because my dryer broke and dragging two kids under the age of 3 with loads of laundry isn't that do-able, and by the time the husband gets home to watch the kids, you think I'm going to spend my one hour of freedom on laundry? It's insulting I let my 2 year old have a chocolate milkshake before noon. It's insulting that my 1-year-old while holding her dragged my shirt underneath my bras and I didn't notice for a second. It's insulting when my pants do a plumber pant thing and show my butt crack when I'm trying to get my child in the car seat, nevermind the strain on my back. If I apologize, then it's even worse because people are more apt to show their true colors on the situation.
One time, I was holding my two year old and she weighs almost 40 pounds. I was trying to fill my drink at a Burger King actually while holding her. I did try to drive thru and only had my debit card to pay with and they refused to take the debit card that day through the drive thru. And since I was only going to drive thru, she wasn't wearing shoes, so I had to hold her. I almost dropped her, and I caught her with my leg. So she's half in my arms and on my leg as I'm standing on one leg with a 2 year old in one arm and a drink in the other half full. So, I go to put the drink down, and it starts to spill because the thing isn't even for it to stand on. As I almost start to lose balance, I catch myself with my knee on the tray holder thingy. Then, I just placed the tip of my foot on the edge of the tray thing to bounce her up into my arm better and removed my foot within a second. Meanwhile, I'm holding the drink in the other hand. And, this took some flexibility, which I am very flexible, so not all moms could do this. Some guy wants to gripe that my foot had germs and it touched the edge of the tray holder. He kept going on about how his food will have germs now because of it. A. He was getting his food to go. B. His food was wrapped no matter what. All burger king food is wrapped. C. A tray would touch that thing, and not touch the edge where my foot was for that one second. D. He had more germs than my foot I promise you that. Why? because he's a hater. He was even laughing when he left the building and walked out in front of my car. Yes I did aim for him and no I didn't step on the gas fast enough. And no, it wouldn't have killed him. As fat as he was, he would have done more damage to my FORD ESCAPE than my escape would have done to him. And yes, if I did hit him, I was planning to sue him for getting his germs all over my vehicle. I TOTALLY AGREE that it was the WORST example I could have set for my child. The poor thing was afraid of me for the one and only time in her life because she had never seen me that mad before. And by the way, to make it worse, trying to get into the car, I spilled my drink all over myself. Then, there was no trash can around. So, I launched what was left in that cup with the cup at the Burger King building. Why did the BK get my wrath too? Because they were too freaking lazy to swipe the debit card from a different register than the one used in the drive thru. Because they were too lazy to offer to help me pour my drink knowing that I was trying to drive thru and watching me have a hard time doing it with my child in my arms. Because they didn't tell the guy to shut up or asked him to quit harassing their customers. Anyway i know I was wrong at losing my temper, but it was less wrong than some guy talking out of his ass about something he knew absolutely nothing about just to piss people off because he's a hater.
Either way, I just don't feel like as a mom I get any support for being one. I often feel like the world is against us moms. It's just insulting to me to see all these Women's Rights Activists more concerned about helping women who don't want to have kids than helping women who already do have them. Maybe if the world was more supportive of moms, less women would feel they need to have an abortion.
Either way, i could complain more about the anti mom sentiments in this world, but I think I said enough. Just know what little you did get was no where near the full story on what moms go through.
In my mind, abortion is already legal. Is that not enough? When is it the mom's turn to get more rights and respect? We should have gotten that first and then all y'all go after your abortions. Aren't the pro choicers the ones spitting out about quality of life? Aren't they the ones wondering whose going to care for all the children Pro Lifers force women into having? How about caring about the children who are already out there too? I don't know what laws you can make to make momhood easier, but something needs done.
i would not be capable of getting an abortion myself, but i am pro-choice in general.
the problems that facilitate the need the abortion are, in my opinion, very much cultural and societal, and therefore, making abortion illegal will not end its practice, it will only push it (back) underground. it will only treat the symptoms, make them disappear to public view, but it will leave the disease festering.
girls and women need to learn to truly love themselves, to understand/evaluate/respect their bodies and their potential, and then i predict there would be a substantial decrease in the need for "post-coital birth control" (which is by far the worst kind >.<)
but i'm pretty lost on the best way to re-program the female psyche.
Perfectly rational.
I don't think that anyone's going to take you up on that bet. IIrc abortions are a small proportion of all of the pregnancies that happen in the U.S.
And it starts before they're even born. Total strangers think it's ok to walk up and touch one's bulging belly and give one advice.
On thing I get annoyed by is when mothers set their diapered kids butt-first on the coffee or bakery counter where my food is theoretically being handed over - but I don't think that's too unreasonable.
LOL sounds like a scene out of a comedy movie. I've worked in fast food before (briefly, thank goodness), and I don't think that your foot was the grodiest thing there.
It's a tough job - not one that should ever be forced on anyone involuntarily.
It's just insulting to me to see all these Women's Rights Activists more concerned about helping women who don't want to have kids than helping women who already do have them. Maybe if the world was more supportive of moms, less women would feel they need to have an abortion.
It's not just women without kids that have abortions; something like half of the women who have abortions already have one or more children at home. You're right, though, that more social problems would help; there was a Michael Moore movie that showed some of the social supports women get in France when they have kids, and it was astonishing. They send someone to the home for the first couple of weeks after the birth, for example, to 'help out' by tidying or doing laundry or whatever help the mom needs. It's partly to encourage women to have more kids because they're worried about their population.
but i'm pretty lost on the best way to re-program the female psyche.
Very, very few women use abortion as 'birth control' in the sense that it is their ongoing, regular method of preventing parenthood. It simply does not make sense to do so; it cost more, it's more dangerous, and it's more painful.
Also, your belittling suggestion that women have abortions because they 'lack self esteem' is extremely insulting.
i'm sorry, i often fall short of being clear.
first of all, i am well aware that most women don't use abortion as a primary form of birth control. but even with petroleum pills, there are ways to capitalize on their effectiveness: having the body awareness to understand your cycle, and the hormonal/mental cues that come with it are our natural gauges. obviously, this is not always one hundred percent effective. but i do believe that simple conciousness of your body helps a lot. many women (and men, for that matter) i have met are so blissfully unaware of how their body functions and what is going on in it that it is scary.
secondly, i'm not alleging that women who get abortions have "low self-esteem", at least, not in the classical sense or the way you're thinking. i think there is a greater potential, an entire structure of society/culture/self worth that both men and women have yet to conquer. obviously, if we have not progressed so far foreward to have that higher plain of thinking as the 'norm', it isn't even really a possibility yet, so perhaps i should just leave it out next time.
on that note, most the girls i've known who have had an abortion seem to have brilliant self-esteem, whereas i know a couple girls who were totally incapable of handling a child and did it anyway courtesy of low self-esteem.
i don't think that this makes me any less vague, i'm not quite sure how to explain myself.
I wonder how many of the pro-lifers know how sad and horrible the childhood of an unwanted child can be.
Parents can't be forced to love their children - if you were seen as a mistake from the beginning, chances are you will remain so. I was born in a country where abortion was illegal and I've seen the sad consequences.
_________________
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live" (Oscar Wilde)
first of all, i am well aware that most women don't use abortion as a primary form of birth control. but even with petroleum pills, there are ways to capitalize on their effectiveness: having the body awareness to understand your cycle, and the hormonal/mental cues that come with it are our natural gauges. obviously, this is not always one hundred percent effective. but i do believe that simple conciousness of your body helps a lot. many women (and men, for that matter) i have met are so blissfully unaware of how their body functions and what is going on in it that it is scary.
secondly, i'm not alleging that women who get abortions have "low self-esteem", at least, not in the classical sense or the way you're thinking. i think there is a greater potential, an entire structure of society/culture/self worth that both men and women have yet to conquer. obviously, if we have not progressed so far foreward to have that higher plain of thinking as the 'norm', it isn't even really a possibility yet, so perhaps i should just leave it out next time.
on that note, most the girls i've known who have had an abortion seem to have brilliant self-esteem, whereas i know a couple girls who were totally incapable of handling a child and did it anyway courtesy of low self-esteem.
i don't think that this makes me any less vague, i'm not quite sure how to explain myself.
I took it to mean kinda what I was trying to say earlier that got totally blown out of proportion. It's sad when you have to argue with women the value of women. Like I do it all the time with my friends and family, especially my in-laws. I never put much thought into womenhood. I was more interested in the male psyche than a females most of my life because I was interested in dating males. It never really dawned on me the importance of understanding the way females work for my own benefit until I had daughters.
I do agree that many, not all, women have little idea who they are, and they don't know much about the way their body works. Men don't know that much either. Either way, you would think if abortions are so hard to do, and such an extreme choice because of the cost, pain, and danger (sorry, but I stole the wording from sojournertruth though this isn't geared to her), more women would be all for trying to figure ways to prevent abortions than defending them. Generally, I seem to receive more argument when i try to help a situation than any help. It's not just about abortions on that one. So when I say that, it is probably because I'm surrounded by people who criticize without offering any real help or solution ideas.
I swear it's because I'm Aspergers that they do that. It's like I'm too stupid to know what I'm talking about, yet I also never need anyone's help because I'm so freaking awesome, and then in addition, I am the first one everyone calls to get help because I'm so freaking awesome, but if I speak, I went from freaking awesome to incredibly incompetent in point five.
Anyway, i wanted to say that I used to have a cat exactly like the one in your picture. Her name was Ghanja, and no, I did NOT name her. She was incredibly smart, like I think I could have trained her to use the potty over litter box. She was the type to think first and then do. The other cat I had did first and asked questions later, so the other cat would kill a mouse, and then the next day, Ghanja had wiped out the rest of the family. She was smarter on the people skills. Like I swore she understood what I was saying more often than I realized. She was also clingy. Very loving, always wanted to cuddle, had to follow me everywhere I go. One day when driving, she came to the front seat of the car, and said, "I I I I I," right before she threw up. In her older age, she was very reclusive around other animals and small children. She was always kinda passive. She was far from being the alpha cat. But, the other cat I had was very domineering, yet when she was at the vet, she'd scream like a little girl. Ghanja on the other hand, she growled like a tiger. And, she was not the one you'd want to be up against in a cat fight. Many times she wouldn't fight by choice, but when she did, watch out. I remember once the humane society picked her up for running at large, and when I went to get her, the lady there told me she was a wild beast that almost ripped off her arm. I'm like, are you crazy? She's the sweetest cat I've ever owned. Anyway, her personality was so different from any cat I owned that I wondered if her breed had anything to do with it. So that's why I went into some detail about her. I'm hoping you'll either say, yeah, my cat is exactly like that or the complete opposite.
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