list of female AS traits

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Thanks for the quick reply.

I had been so compulsive with the hair stroking that I learned to wear to tight updo to business meetings, to prevent myself from doing it. I thought it was a bad habit, but it was always more something I did when "talking to people". Short hair was no hinder to twirling.

I have been lurking in these pages reading for weeks. I came here to find clues to why my cute, bright, talented seven-year-old son has been struggling so much with teachers, peers and the entire school experience. Incidentally, I have figured out that this is me, too.

I have been searching for answers to my problems since I was a teen. I had suspected I was an alien/human hybrid when I was child. This is hard to take in all at once. So many years of thinking of myself as having depression and childhood issues. Teachers either loved me for my unique insight, or hated my bluntness and general cluelessness. I was always the girl in need of a makeover. 100% of the indications of dyspraxia apply to me. I am so clumsy I just accepted that I always had a bruise somewhere on my body. It took me until I was about 35 to learn left from right by always having ring on my right hand to remind me.

I hope I can help my son to navigate these school years. I alway felt like I was blindly stabbing in the dark on how to handle myself. Very much like everyone else had read the manual.

If Asperger's presents in a different way in girls than in boys, shouldn't there be different DSM criteria for it?

I have so much in common with these lists of female aspie traits, and yet I'm not an aspie. I lack some of the core characteristics. For example, my sensory system is neurotypical. I have great empathy with others. But at the same time, I prefer to read rather than socialise - I can't stand the immaturity of others my age - I struggle to participate properly in the conversation so sometimes I 'perform' - it depends which group of people I'm with. I hate fussing over hair, makeup and fashion -I look fine the way I am, and I dress up only on special occasions. The list goes on.

I fit just about every item in that list. Like someone walked behind me for a month and made lots of post-it notes! And though I agree meltdowns are often very controlled I have had a few public ones. Just last week the sound of a bag being dragged on those wheel things drove me to tears in public. I was almost inconsolable.

OMG I always have bruises that I can't remember aquirering or that I get in the weirdest places. I have walked into the door frame of the car omg that hurts. Into doors that are open, into chairs, got a horrid bruise on the back of my hand getting food off a buffet tray! And I can never remember what is left and right. My roomate is always pissed about it because if i am right handed how could I not know! Plus sometimes when i am told to get something "up there" or "down here" I look the opposite direction and make my way to the specified area. It drives everyone crazy.

I HAVE to try the ring thing. BTW, what is Dyspraxia?

I had a different reaction to reading it. To me its more like feeling I have no identity beyond autism.
I thought I was a unique person, even my deepest secret laid bare which is I feel emotionally part male/part female which is something I battled with for the longest time trying to understand...I used to think that my sexual identity was both genders, now I realize that it is part of having girlie AS.
every single one of them is like me at some point in my life.
I find the rigid routines that contradict unconventuality (sp) explains the paradox of me as well. I dont like change in my personal routines, but I get bored and annoyed with sameness on a larger societal scale.
everything else fits me perfectly too, exept the coldness part, put I used to be very much that way at a younger age.
Age has made me kinder.

Jojo

Turns out I have actually not learned left from right, yet. I was telling my husband how my clumsiness and getting lost all the time was part of the dyspraxia and he said, "Quick, put up you right hand" I raised my left ....Marriage messed me up because now I have a wedding ring on my left hand.

http://dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk

I think for me it is a sensory processing disorder, since I am also very sensitive to temperatures, light and sounds. I hate stadiums and malls full of shoppers. Also, I am insensitive to pain, like I do not notice when I get bruises or walk into door frames.

I do not have as many of the speech and verbal problems today. I think is used my intelligence to overcompensate in that area. However, even though I am a decent writer today, I had terrible spelling well into high school and terrible handwriting. People often commented that my handwriting looked like a child's. One seventh grade teacher forced me to use kindergarten paper to shame me into legible writing.

In fact, as I understand it, driving can be a daunting challenge for dyspraxics. It was for me, I failed several driving tests because I do not "follow instructions turning right and left" I was something I had to really work on. I am originally from California, and it was essential that I learn to drive. I am glad now that I was not diagnosed, since I may have been uninsurable. I got in so many fender benders! A car with rear and front parking sensors has been a huge help for me.

Today was actually kinda bad for me. my roommate and I went out to eat and it was crowded. I was really distracted when I stood up, hit a lady behind me three times with my backpack strap as I was trying to put it on she told me she is sick of it and if I don't start paying attention to my surroundings she is not taking me out anymore. Said I can do just fine at home but act ret*d in public. >,<

So I won't have any friends in adulthood? That scares me... o.o

It's only something you may wish to be aware of. Years ago such topics where not even known let alone discussed. If I would have had access to the information that is out on autism and aspersgers I would not have eventually given up being as social like I did years ago. I would've been armed with information to show my employer and family so they were aware the dx is real and I was born with a "social deficit" they need to make allowances for.

I have friends, however; I must admit I had to work very hard to respond in relationships and I always tend to be comfortable with the oddballs in the group. I don't mind, since I am a bit odd myself.

The hazard for me, and I think many others, is that I am comfortable being alone. Therefore, I do not remember to keep in touch, return phone calls in a timely way, or remember (without effort) normal social exchanges like sending birthday greetings or whatever. I do have old friends I have lost contact with it was 100% my fault. Now, that I am aware that I can let too long between contacts go, I am more aware I should maintain the friendships I have.

Not having friends in adulthood is one of the three things from that chart that doesn't fit me at all.

All of my friends are weird too though. I'm horrible about calling people and initiating contact, but all my friends seem to be able to handle contacting me and/or being able to pick up right where we left off when we next happen to see each other or happen to interact via Facebook.

I don't think it would be possible for me to stay good friends with someone who expected me to contact them frequently/regularly or who got offended because I didn't. At least, it's never happened so far!

I also have been blessed some special friends that value the friendship more than they value fomal correspondence. However, when people contact me, I AM genuinely glad to here from them and they know I sincerely enjoy seeing them. I have also learned to admit, straight up, to my friends that I am a terrible at initiating contact and that my tendency to isolate is my problem. On a couple of occasions however, it has been my spouse who has expected me to contact an old friend while visiting their city or something. I have been glad he pushed my like that.

I think this an extra social pressure on a woman, since women are normally expected to be the social managers in a couple. I have (since seeing the AS) looked at my pattern and realize I do not always carry my weight in relationship as far as invitations or suchlike.

I tried the ring thing and it was sort of working. My roomate was all "wow" then I messed up and she told me remember, turn the knob to the left to open and the right to lock it." "I said ok, left to open and ring to close it!" I said ring . . .-_-

Yeah I'd say I have the same problems as all of you say you've had, in fact I'm very shy about initiating contact and even more shy about inviting people, which has been a huge crutch on maintaining relationships and I've lost many a friend this way. Have any of you managed to make new friends after school and university have ended?

Yes. I have several friends and I'm a good 10.5 years (and 3k miles) out of high school and 8.5 years (and 1500 miles) out of college (dropped out). Two of my three best friends are dx with ADD and one could probably be dx with OCD so they all have traits of AS which is why I think our friendships actually work.

There are other people who are close enough to be friendly but whom I don't see often. My three main friends and I can pick up right where we left off after months of not talking/texting/etc.

Oh, and the biggest determiner of who my friends are has always been shared interests. I'm in midwifery school so I like talking about birth and I know a lot about attachment parenting (breastfeeding, babywearing, etc) so other people who are interested in those things tend to get along with me. I like to garden also even though I haven't done serious research about it in several years (it was a special interest a few years ago).

So I found support groups in my area for alternative birthing and parenting and met people there who share my interests I had fewer good friends in college than I do now. In high school I had two good girlfriends and my now-husband as friends. Three seems to be the maximum number of friends I can handle without feeling very overloaded.