has an evil NT ever taken advantage of you sexually?

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When I was 17 a group of friends constantly made fun of me for being a virgin. They set up a "date" for me with this one girl who liked me but I could not stand her. After a few forced dates she finaly had sex with me. The whole thing was horrible. I do not like to be touched or to touch anyone I am not comfortable with. The entire time I was with her I was very ridged and robotic forcing myself to go through with it. When it was over I wanted to leave right away but I had to wait for my friends to pick me up. When they got there to pick me up I just about sprinted to the car. Before we left they were talking to her there was a lot of giggling. When they got to the car they were teasing me about how women are the ones who are supose to pretend they are having a good time durring sex. Instead of teasing me for being a virgin they teased me saying stuff like that I was possibly gay.

I guess you can say a group of NTs took advantage of me for their amusement.

I am sure if I met a woman I was comfortable with and cared for that I would have no problems touching her or being with her.

Heck, yeah...it happened to me quite a lot when I was younger. And yes, I think it does happen to NT girls, but like someone said earlier, they cotton on to what's happening sooner.

I didn't have the social savvy to guess what was going on. I was also an early developer physically. During my teens I got groped and kissed by older men, almost talked into bed by my cousin, and lost my virginity to a guy I met through a dating agency who, in hindsight, was fairly obviously not in it to find a serious relationship, but figured he might as well string me along and have sex with me anyway. Then I married a guy who was in the agency to find a serious relationship, but who turned out to be a manipulative a-hole, his attitude to sex (which was entirely on his terms and for his enjoyment) being only a small part of that.

You live, you learn...I grew up in the 1980s, but my parents were of the old school (i.e. I didn't need to know anything because sex was for married people and I pretty obviously wasn't ever going to get married). And my school didn't have a counsellor back then, and you couldn't talk to teachers about that stuff. I'd like to think that Aspie girls these days have a lot more resources to help them in this area.

Easy to say that someone wanting sex with you is a 'compliment', but that's only actually the case when it's the right someone, when you're equally enthusiastic, and the time and place are right. Coercing, cajoling, threatening and lying about your true intentions in order to get someone into bed with you are despicable behaviors.

PS...I've now been married to my second husband for just over a decade, and it's great when you're with someone who truly loves and respects you. Just wanted to say that it is possible...but don't be afraid to ask for help and advice if crappy stuff is happening.

Yeh, I've been taken advantage of. By a guy who was my best friend of four years, no less.

I didn't make the connection that he was being affectionate, making sexual advances and consoling in me constantly because he was on the rebound, and it went explosively downhill from there. We used to playwrestle like siblings a lot when we were friends, but when his ex continued to reject him he used to take it out on me by taking the wrestling too far. Like, pinning me down against my will, shoving his crotch in my face and leaving bruises behind kind of too far. At the time I had no idea what it meant, so I took it as a joke and didn't really talk to anyone about it. I'm still in the process of getting counselling for it.

I wouldn't call him evil, but I certainly wouldn't call him a good balanced person if he was able to do that to such a close friend yet unable to see how it was wrong. Or worth being friends with any more, for that matter.

But yeah, I know what it's like, feeling like you're a hopeless pile of damaged goods. I still flinch from physical affection I don't see coming, or from people I've only just met, and I still completely shut down in front of people I'm interested in, even if I'm just interested in being a good friend.

*internet huggles*

Someone on another forum said I am not like the others there and asked if I wanted to be friends. I said sure and we talked for about a week. I really enjoyed him and he seemed apsie like but he didn't have it he said. But he said I got him into aspies and now he wants an aspie woman since they are so hot. But then he decided to ask me for naked photos of me and I told him no and he better not be one of those guys who begs me for them because I block them. I never heard back from him again.

Clever way to try and get someone to share their nude pictures with you just by pretending to be their friend and talking to them and sharing stuff about yourself with them but I bet all that was made up and an act because he was trying to get something from me and when he didn't get it, he left. I was hurt and decided I would never trust anyone else on that forum again. If anyone else asks to be my friend I would say no. I haven't been to that forum since, I just trolled the guy there several times and he finally sent me a PM lol and I haven't gone back since March. He told me he no longer wanted naked pictures of me and he found a woman and she is great. I bet he made that up just to get me off his back. I have also seen a post by him where he was trash talking women and saying he hates them all and saying bad things about them and that thread was locked. I didn't get it and yet he talked to me in PM and the fact I thought his post was hypocritical because him using women to try and get naked photos from them is low. I wouldn't be surprised if he has done it to others so he learned a cunning way to ask for them and his plan failed on me.


And of course there was my ex who also wanted me for sex. He was always with me and when I told him I didn't want it for the rest of the summer because it was too hot out and I can't take skicky skin and the heat, bam he was always on his computer. No wonder he was always with me, he was waiting for sex. We only had it nine times in one month and it got very hot out because it was summer and it gets very hot in Montana and my house had poor insulation so it was unable to stay cool inside. So because I said I didn't want it again till it got cool out, he didn't see the point in being with me. He expected me to just get used to it. Then after that I made up the 6th month rule for when the guy can have sex with me after being together. I just didn't want to get used again and I wanted to be sure the man is with me for me, not for sex. But since then I have learned why some men wouldn't want to wait that long, they don't want to wait six months and then find the woman sucks in bed so bam they had wasted their time with the wrong woman. Also the fact someone here told me like back in 2008 or 2009 that if his partner stopped having sedx with him, he would think somethign was wrong even if she had told him a reason why she didn't want it anymore. Maybe my ex didn't use me but it sure feels that way and looks that way and I didn't even realize till a few months later after I dumped him that he had used me. Before, I could never understand why he was with me and then stopped and the computer became more important to him. Then I remember that all started when I said I didn't want sex anymore because it was too hot out so bam that's when it started. So it all added up and made sense. But yet he stayed with me and didn't decide to go back to his parents. I had to dump him and then he went back but he lived with his friend for a while and then moved back.

My parents knew what he was up to long before I knew and they tried to tell me he was a leech and lazy and wanted everyone to do things for him and I didn't believe them. I just thought they were being judgmental just because of his trench coat and his problems and the fact he still lived at home and the fact he was also different. But here he was looking for a job and I could never understand why he was so motivated to get one and then didn't want to work anymore. He claimed he did but it was obvious he didn't because he bitched about his job and wanted to quit. Then I got told last year he played me a fiddle but I realize maybe he didn't play me a fiddle, maybe he was motivated to get one because his esteem level was boosted up and that happens to lot of people when they first meet someone but then it wears off and I think that is what maybe happeneed with my ex. But anyway my parents knew he was no good and knew about him before I did and it took me till my birthday to figure it out and all it took was him to forget about my birthday to tell me he didn't care about me and I was not important to him and his friend was. My parents knew since the end of April or beginning of May. I think they picked up on cues and stuff and I didn't so that's how they knew.

I wouldn't say he was NT because he also had problems too. He had ADHD and my mom thinks he may have had schizophrenia due to his thinking and how he talked.

From what I can gather, this isn't just about sex. I think I understand what you are saying here and I have heard from Tony Atwood's interviews about women and AS that women are particularly susceptible to the lies that some men will tell to get women into bed... even still, not so much about sex as much as it is the things that come along with this type of manipulation. And I do not think that NT women have this issue as much.

I have finally learned that I cannot read a man's intentions well at all and that I must check him out with the help of my NT girlfriends. This has worked very well for me and I now have a great guy who my girlfriends approve of and who treats me well. This doesn't mean he's perfect, but his intentions are good.

Before learning this lesson, I fell victim to a number of men (and I do believe this type is in the extreme minority, but often sought me out because of my obvious tendency to take things very literally and therefore be almost complete inable to spot a liar) who took advantage of me on many levels, not just for sex, although that happened too.

This type of man ranged from completely fraudulent men with wives and families at home (I had absolutely no clue, although later acquaintances told me they strongly suspected it), men running from the law for horribly violent crimes, drug addicts who expected me to care for them and fund their habits, as well as men who stole from me or used me for business contacts who embezzled money from my colleagues and their companies. I was simply unable to read the signs until I became entrenched in these relationships and it became very difficult to disentangle from these men.

Eventually, I had to realize that I was the only consistent factor in these situations, despite my not being responsible for their behavior, and was forced to do something different. This, as I said before, involved letting my NT friends know where my weaknesses were in assessing human behavior and asking for their help in pointing out inconsistencies to help me avoid such people... and then most importantly, I had to listen to them and follow their advice. There is hope to break that pattern, but it is hard to do. Good luck!

Yes. When my previous ex accepted my offer to go out, I was overjoyed. He was a good looking guy and intelligent too. But he showed me a picture of his erect dick a week before that but I disregarded that as a quirk. A week after we started dating he asked if I ever saw a penis in person before, I said no. He asked if I wanted to and before I could answer, he already had it out. He grabbed my hand and placed it on his penis. Then he told me to get on my knees and suck it. I did. I was scared out of my mind. I wanted him to love me. We broke up three weeks later.

10 months later, we're sitting in his room and he's bitching about the girl that he left me for and we ended up having oral again. This happened a few more times. 6 months after that, he reveals what a terrible person he is and that he was manipulating me the whole time but he still loved me and wished things could work out. He still texts me wanting to perform oral sex on him again. Now I enjoy oral, don't get me wrong but I wish it were with someone who cared about me. It felt so empty whenever he said he loved me because I knew it was a lie. I feel so foolish and that no decent man would ever love an ugly fatass like me. I should have known from the start that he was using me but I'm so damn naive that I believed everything told me. I'm so f*****g stupid.

I have been so embarassed by this incident I never told anyone what happened Monday night. I was going for a walk and this man stops me saying he wants to talk to me. I go "okay" and he asks for my name and I tell him and he asks if I drink or do drugs and I say no and he gives me compliments about my body saying how how I am and good I look. Then he asks if he can touch me and I say no and he then asks if I am pregnant and I say yes and then he goes asking if he can feel the baby. I let him but he rubs it and kisses it and I back away seeing he had done enough but he keeps grabbing me and doing it and I tell him he already felt it. Then he touches my right boob and I told him I had to get going and I take off fast.

I don't know what happened or what his intentions were. He made me uncomfortable when he kept touching me and I couldn't even be direct because I didn't know if he was some crazy person who can hurt me if I pissed him off. Maybe next time I will ignore every man in the street who tries talking to me. Maybe next time if a guy asks if I am preggo, I will just say no and I have been snacking too much. I'm still small enough to pass off as having a big belly.

I don't know if this man wanted to touch me or what but he sure grabbed at my boob when I said no to being touhed. I wonder if he was a druggie based on what he asked or if he was also on the spectrum he couldn't even get the hint I didn't want to be touched anymore when I backed away and said he has felt it already so he doesn't need to keep feeling it.

Even when you are nine months pregnant, you are under NO obligation to allow ANYONE to touch you. Ever. I wear headphones when I'm out, even if I don't want the music on. And I avoid eye contact with almost everyone, especially men. I also wear a wedding ring even though I am not married. It keeps some of the sickos away, but the really sick ones don't care.

I'm so sorry that you feel embarrassed by this incident. Even if you were looking straight at him and smiling and talking to him and even let him touch your pregnant belly, that man had NO RIGHT to touch you that way and make you uncomfortable. If you know who he is or can describe him, can you call the police? Maybe that's an overreaction, but this makes me so mad that there are people out there who would do this to you.

"Nice guys" really need to live in our shoes for a day or so and see how this happens ALL THE TIME to women and then they won't be wondering why some of us have such issues with men. These are not isolated incidents, by any means.

I'm at five months.

I didn't really look at him because I am always shy and I suck in those social situations so I don't really remember what he looked like. I remember he looked to be in his 40's and he was very thin and had a mustache that was brown or gold. It was just a stranger and I think it be impossible to find him if I can't describe him. The next day I walked on the other side of the road in case he was in the same spot again and I didn't see him.

I think I handled it well and it was right next to building where they do parties or dances or yard sales and there were other people there who were inside and the doors were open. There would have been witnesses if he ran after me or tried to hurt me.

If you want to avoid pain, be celibate until you are married. Yes, you will be a rarity and guys will try even harder to have sex with you but just don't do it. Make celibacy a religion for yourself. Sometimes the old-fashioned ideals are the best for some people. If you can't handle sex, stay away from it. Sexually active women are simply free prostitutes for men.
A relationship should come first and there should be NO sex until a mutual trust is established and the couple has experienced many things together first - this comes from long term dating without the sex. If a guy doesn't want to put the time in, then he just wants sex.
People who have histories of abuse seem to think that they MUST have sex to keep the guy around. Try this: Really shift your mind into being a guy for about a week. Convince yourself you are a guy. How do you see women? What kind of woman would you want? Don't you want a strong woman? A woman with a goal in life? A woman who says "NO" to your lust? BUT says "yes" to study, hard work, compassion, and achievement. Do you want to marry you? or Do you just want to bang you? Stop being a doormat and built your own ego instead of some guy's ego. No means no and rape is a punishable crime. Get the hell out of this rut you are in!! Watch your diet, exercise, learn to love or at least like yourself. Lift weights, make your body stronger. Keep your legs closed. Make intelligent choices and be mature enough to take the responsibility of mistakes. State what you want from people and give nothing until you GET what you want. Words and promises don't count.

For some reason, I feel that this post indicates that it was our fault we were treated this way. D:

Look, men want sex. Plain and simple. Any man that says differently is lying or can't perform. :/

you shoulda bit it

yes i get undressed by people when i am asleep.
i sleep very soundly and it is difficult to wake me up.

often when i go to sleep in the presence of other people, i wake up undressed.

i do not often sleep when i am not alone.

i do not feel violated because i was asleep at the time and did not experience anything.

i sometimes wake up to people who were disinterested in me before i went to sleep only to find that they are now very friendly to me.

whatever. it all happens outside of my consciousness.

i do not like the idea that someone may get too attracted while i am not there, and so i do not sleep in the presence of others any more.

no replies please?

Um...he asked me to do that. He likes that sort of thing.

---That's attempted rape.
Guys can get sent up the river for less than that.
Yes, I'm male and yes I care about the people in this forum but even if I didn't I'd
offer the same advice. Rapists and sexual predators don't belong out amongst the public.
I know it's difficult but if you're able to provide a description to law enforcement you will be doing
a great thing by preventing him from finding another victim.

And even if he doesn't, one is not exactly thinking straight in the middle of rape. As she stated, she was scared out of her mind. Even if he hadn't wanted her to bite, what might he have done if she did use her teeth?

The same thing happened to me with a guy I met at a party. After everyone was asleep, he pulled me into a stairway and forced me to give him oral sex. People always ask why I didn't bite. To be honest, it didn't even occur to me. I was paralyzed with shock and fear. He put one hand around my neck and the other on the back of my head so I couldn't get away. It was humiliating and terrifying, and I didn't talk about it for a year. I met his girlfriend the next day, and I wondered if he did the same things to her.