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MCalavera
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03 Feb 2013, 2:40 am

Yeah, there's a difference between being outspoken in a rational manner (which is a very respectable trait in any person), and being loud and histrionic for the love of attention.



meems
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03 Feb 2013, 9:57 am

MCalavera wrote:
Yeah, there's a difference between being outspoken in a rational manner (which is a very respectable trait in any person), and being loud and histrionic for the love of attention.


Yeah, but some men see disagreeing in a rational manner as being a loud mouthed b***h or being crazy and paranoid. Being a feminist at all and openly identifying as such immediately places me in the "harpy b***h" category for some men. And I'm not just assuming that because they once or twice called me a b***h, but because they do so to any woman who doesn't behave in a way they approve of... I mean they can talk about anything insane, make ridiculous claims, wear their goddamn fedoras, ruin any social circle, and still see women as the problem.

And it's not like there is any shortage of them.


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puddingmouse
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03 Feb 2013, 10:28 am

^ What's wrong with fedoras?



meems
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03 Feb 2013, 12:26 pm

I've never actually seen anyone wearing a fedora, it was in reference to the meme. http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/414509-fedora-shaming
http://fedorasofokc.tumblr.com/


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JBlitzen
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puddingmouse
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03 Feb 2013, 12:39 pm

Image



ColdEyesWarmHeart
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03 Feb 2013, 2:30 pm

I have only ever heard the word opinionated used by men against women when they have started an argument with her, lost in a big way, and want to make her feel like she was in the wrong for opening her mouth. :roll:



MindBlind
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12 Feb 2013, 8:47 am

I cans see where you are coming from, but quite honestly it isn't something I've experienced much. I find that people who are dominating and opinionated in general are looked upon as jerks, no matter what the gender. Still, there is this idea in many societies that girls are generally more quiet and diplomatic and boys are more loud and confrontational. I guess people just conform to those expectations.



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12 Feb 2013, 3:38 pm

i guess it boils down to whether a person cares about how they are seen by others in that particular regard. i don't mind if people think i am opinionated, so it's not an insult to me. i do notice that occasionally people will accuse me (or other women) of being "hysterical" or something when we have a strong opinion on the forum, which is usually absurd. it's a way of trying to undermine an opponent's arguments by implying that the ideas come from an emotional place. i usually ignore that, or reflect it back (which magnifies the silliness).

some men like when women are really bold and brassy. i don't know if it hurt my dating prospects in the past, but i don't think so. i am proud to speak up and stand up for the things i believe in.


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mommabrer
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18 Feb 2013, 9:01 pm

I have always been told that I have strong opinions.

I don't know if I have strong opinions or if I just lack the filter to keep quiet about what I think.

What has frustrated me more than anything is this: In the past, I have found people will agree with your strong opinions but will not stand up with you to fight for them. At work, we had a bully of a boss who was forcing us to work overtime. (It was illegal in my state to force nurses to work OT). Everyone was thinking it, but I said it. Almost the entire unit came to me at one time or another to pat me on the back and thank me for standing up for the unit. They assured me they agreed with me. But when the time came to say it out loud to the boss, they scattered like field mice and I looked like a fool. When they threatened to fire people if they wouldn't work the illegal overtime, all those nurses who claimed they agreed with me wouldn't back me up.

I have struggled with this a lot. People saying one thing but then doing the opposite. It baffles me and frustrates me to no end.

I have also felt that there is a prejudice that strong women face that strong men do not. The CEO of the hospital actually said he wasn't worried that the other nurses would stand up against the illegal overtime because "these women are the breadwinners of their family. They need their job. They'll just put on their little scrubs and be good nurses" Would he have acted that way if it was male doctors refusing to do something that was illegal?

I think agreeing with a strong opinion is just some sort of social thing that NTs do. Like "liking" a fb post. There isn't really a commitment. It's a nod. A click. Something they do to avoid conflict. I used to believe people really agreed with me. Now I don't know what to think when they say they do.



mds_02
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18 Feb 2013, 10:42 pm

mommabrer wrote:
I have also felt that there is a prejudice that strong women face that strong men do not. The CEO of the hospital actually said he wasn't worried that the other nurses would stand up against the illegal overtime because "these women are the breadwinners of their family. They need their job. They'll just put on their little scrubs and be good nurses" Would he have acted that way if it was male doctors refusing to do something that was illegal?


I don't know whether that particular person would have said the same of men. But there've definitely been plenty of men put in that exact position for that exact reason.

There's a tendency (out in the world, but especially noticeable here on WP) for people to assume that whatever issues or unfairness they face are unique to their gender (or their ethnicity, or people of their sexual orientation, or whatever other group they identify with).

Outspoken people are going to be liked by those who share their views and disliked by those who do not, whatever gender they happen to be.



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19 Feb 2013, 3:59 am

I do have strong opinions and I had to learn how to control them because if I express them I'll get into a lot trouble. I will express them to varying degrees, I have to tread cautiously and be very careful to filter my opinions to avoid stepping on any toes. I figure out how open mined and liberal people are. I know this thread is not meant to be political but I find I dont naturally gravitate towards conservatives despite my background.



AnonymousGIrl
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06 May 2013, 12:15 am

I along with all the gals I've known had similar experiences of the gender double standard of being opinionated. It seems in my country, America, not only does a gal being opinionated is deemed negatively as a harpy, b*tch, etc as well as I find most guys have the mindset of gals should be seen not heard hence memes like Good Girl Gina.

Sound wrote:
My point is that if there is a double-standard here(and I question it's relevance in Western society), it's not purely men's fault, and men do not deserve unequal blame for it.

Your post disproves your point not support it as gals being attracted to opinionated guys making it acceptable for guys to be opinionated doesn't equal making it unacceptable for gals to be opinionated. It is entirely men's fault and men do deserve full blame for this double standard since using your logic of a gender shaping which behavior is acceptable in the other gender means men created the double standard by making it unacceptable for gals to be opinionated because they weren't attracted to opinionated gals.



MjrMajorMajor
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06 May 2013, 12:27 am

I've known plenty of opinionated women, despite the stereotype. There may be some crass comments made occasionally, but standing by your opinions does lead to respect....even if it's begrudgingly offered sometimes.



revolutionarygirl
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06 May 2013, 9:00 am

I'm often afraid to speak up often because no one takes my opinions seriously. And I know it is because of the way I look. Everyone thinks I'm a silly little blonde girl whose head is as empty as a flower pot; they don't realize that I'm actually very intelligent. And when I try to say something no one really cares. Stereotypes are lame.



PsychoSarah
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06 May 2013, 9:23 am

I'm only 5 feet two inches tall, but I have a voice big enough to topple one hundred grown men. Feel the burn of my words!