Lesbian aspies

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Bisexual, queer, Whatever...

I have a girlfriend and we have an open relationship.

I thought there was more none-NTs in the queer world?

"Queer" is one of those topics I heard a lot of but never really understood what it's all about. It seemed complicated and confusing to me.

I'm a newly out Lesbian Aspie. I find that it can be more complex, because women are more complex emotionally.

The only other lesbian I've hit it off with is my ex-girlfriend, and I would not be surprised to hear that she's on the spectrum herself. I do have a bunch of trans and asexual friends, though. I guess I get along with queer people, just not the right kind.

I also don't know how to meet other queer people – particularly romantic prospects – other than by accident and in bars. And I don't want to go to a bar.

I agree with the comment that 'AS makes relationships (or trying to search for one!), difficult, regardless of sexual orientation'.
But, before I started my search into what was 'wrong/odd/different' about me that caused such a lack of social skills, lack of friends, lack of trust from others etc; I honestly thought that all of these things were due to me being a lesbian; I can't make female friends (nor male, I now realise!), I find NT females (and for the most part straight women) intimidating, I have nothing in common with them, can't do the 'group of friends thing' (which I always thought was a right of passage as a female) and the majority of them pick up something about me they don't like/trust; of course, this I now realise has always extended to the male population also, but I always felt 'at home' in male company because I'm a bit of a tomboy!
So, for a large part of my life I thought I was 'odd' to the rest of the world because I was a lesbian, (and so ALL lesbians were 'odd' to the rest of the world!) and not because there was something else about myself that I hadn't yet discovered. I.e. it was never about 'I don't fit in anywhere because of X, Y and Z' but 'I don't fit into the straight world'..........how ridiculous!! !
Anyway, I've missed opportunities in the past, because I didn't pick up on people flirting/coming on to me and I've only realised later in life because I have a tendancy to mull over situations endlessley!

I just wish the world was a bit more plain speaking, then I might pick up on these things!

I'm lesbian.

AS did complicate dating for me, although I found it significantly easier to date men than women. I don't know if it was just that the men had lower expectations, and I think I invariably disappointed them even as it was easier to get dates.

With women there was generally more talk before anything, and I had many more chances to say the wrong thing or give a generally poor impression.

I am a lesbian. I love women, but at the same time they intimidate me. I have no gaydar for women - something about their body language is very difficult for me to read, whereas I have no problem 'figuring out' and getting along with guys.

All of the relationships I've had with women have completely failed because I can't deal with the emotional intimacy they seem to expect from me. My ideal woman would be subdued, someone who doesn't wear their heart on their sleeve or expect to be able to bring me out of my shell. Unfortunately, I seem to attract the exact opposite of this - wishy-washy, overly emotional girls who cling to me so tightly that I'm eventually forced to break things off with them.

I've never had a relationship or done anything with a woman, but I've always had a much stronger attraction to women than to men. The celebrities that I've fixated on have always been women - at the moment it's Regina Spektor. I've also fixated on some close female friends.

I've just ignored that part of me though. I wouldn't even have known how to find women who were bi-sexual or lesbian... I just went along with what was easiest and that has been dating men. It's much easier to assume a man might be interested (because it's culturally acceptable to be heterosexual) than to try to work out if a woman might be interested...