Chivalry is stupid

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I highly appreciate good manners and common curtsey - but as others already said, it must go both ways.

I'm on the fence with the romantic stuff - I really hate anything cheesy and ostentatious, but I like having a relaxed, intimate evening once in while - minus the big words and gestures please. And I have a horrible relationship with electric light so I prefer candle lit dinners

I'm myopic and seem to see a lot better in the dark/almost dark for some reason. But bright electric light is killing me and people frown upon wearing sunglasses indoors.

I don't expect chivalry, but I appreciate it if someone opens a door for me; I mean, it's unnecessary, but they were only doing it to be polite.

I used to have a problem (well, not a problem, just thought it was weird) when a friend of mine would suddenly hang back when we got to a door, to let me go first, and another friend would start crossing over in front of me suddenly when we were walking (I asked and found out it was because the guy is 'supposed' to walk next to the curb), but you get used to it surprisingly quickly; now it almost takes me by surprise when my boyfriend buts in in front of me (he had a bad run in with a woman when opening a door for her and now makes a point of not being chivalrous. He's still polite though).

What I get from what EarlGrey is saying is a dislike for more "conventional" romantic gestures, which I, too, tend to see as fake and demonstrative - even manipulative at times (although probably some people are sincere).

My husband once secretly saved money for months so he could buy me something for one of my collections, after I decided it was too expensive. I was moved and saw it as an expression of love - in a way, it was a romantic thing to do.

Chivalry =/ romance though.

Thank you, menintights. I think a lot of people have misconceptions about what romance actually is.

Yasmine, did you mean =/= or =?

Erm...

I agree, but please keep in mind some men have had chivarly beaten into their heads as boys and it can be very difficult to let that kind of "training" go. Most of my male friends who insist on treating me "special" aren't doing it because they think I'm fragile, they do it because Daddy told them it was the right way to treat us broads.

I do blame them. They're the ones that insist on keeping up the tradition.