Easier being friends with males than females.

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I must say I'm thrilled with this thread and the responses and the discussion that opened up, I was bracing myself because people can be (understandably) defensive and I don't really take it easy on people if I care about something a lot.

Kjas, I hope you weren't referring to me when you said we in this thread also reinforced sexism? I consider myself enlightened, but I know there's always more to learn. Even if you didn't mean me I'll expand on what I said.
When I said there's different things being taught, I meant by society, media and the patriarchy as a whole. I didn't mean every woman subscribes to it, or are all emerged in/care what the media says etc, but it is very pervasive.
Or that liking all the things we "should" like is bad, BUT I do think those that do should do some critical thinking around it if they don't already (everyone should), not to come to the conclusion they don't "really" like it, because of course many do (and many men too!), but just look at the attitudes around it, and don't push it on people or police/harass/judge those that don't.
It's just people with privilege (the little privilege a woman has in this kyriarchy) should really do some thinking around it.

I find it ironic that even women in this thread are being hard on other women in this thread about misogyny as if women who have mostly male friends are sexist - I hope I got that right, it seems to be the underlying message. Well in my opinion women are harder on each other than men are on themselves or else we wouldn't even be having this conversation. Why not let go of any expectations and just let people be people. Isn't that what defying stereotypes is all about?

I don't want to fight, because I know you all have some strong opinions about this, and I do agree that critical thinking is required when we talk about gender norms and stereotypes. But I thought that anti-discrimination was all about accepting people as they are, like how people like different flavours of ice cream. Does it really matter which sex are someone's friends and acquaintances? Shouldn't we all just look past the sex and look at the person underneath? Just a thought.

Accepting sexism isn't tolerance. Some people are going to be really uncomfortable having a conversation about it when the conversation becomes about the extent to which sexism influences us as individuals. It's really easy to take about other people's sexism, but if you can't confront it in yourself, it really isn't possible to to effectively confront it in society.

I want to have this conversation because I'm trying to change how I allow myself to look at other people.

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*shrug*
I'm not a feminist.

Perhaps you should start s seperate topic for those meems so those who are interesting in discussing this can without derailing the original point of the the thread.

deltafunction, have you completely missed the "omg women play sooo much games and women do this and that and all of it's negative" undertone (and many outright said it) that already existed? You were comfortable with that but not a talk about how that happened? I find it interesting. It wasn't just "oh, you know I work in the tech-industry and it's mostly men there". And if you think everyone should just see "the person and not the gender", why are you defending talking smack about women and praising only men as *the best friends ever*?

Then don't go on a thread where women share these experiences? I don't know it seems a bit odd that you would choose this thread to promote your own feminist ideals.

PS I didn't say that so take from it what you will

men and women are different, no matter how much we may wish it otherwise... i do have female friends, but my interests, socialization style, and general me-ness, tend to go over better with men than women. it is what it is. to deny the specific issues involved for the sake of avoiding discomfort seems counterproductive and silly. or perhaps i am bigoted without knowing it. i do not know, i can only speak about what i experience, nothing more.

but verlorenModus, if men and women are fundamentally different... then how come so many women on this thread claim to identify better with men? surely if they were born as women, then they would get along with other women, and men would seem utterly different to them. but since that is not the case, they belie your statement. if women were some massive unified specific group that only behaved a certain way, then that would also apply to all of the women on this thread. it can't be both ways.

and it isn't just aspie females who claim to get along better with men. it's also many NT women. so it has absolutely nothing to do with alleged brain differences in aspie females.

i am sure that many people have interests hobbies or professions that tend to be populated by one gender or another. but it is different to think men are actually fundamentally different.i do not doubt the possibility that some people treat male peers differently to their female peers, most likely stemming from a difference in prejudiced perception about the genders. for example. if you assume that every female is shallow and catty, or at least disinterested in your hobbies, then you will not likely treat them with an open mind. i am not saying you do that, of course. just some thoughts i have about it.