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jewelie
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23 May 2007, 2:18 pm

ADoyle wrote:
Beenthere wrote:
Taken from elsewhere...this says it all for me...

"When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a b***h.

When I stand up for those I love, they call me a b***h.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they
call me a b***h.

Being a b***h means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as
a b***h.


The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being
everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I
truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I
"should" be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there
is nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every

ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed.

And if that makes me a b***h, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud
to bear it.

B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself


That's how I feel about it as well. As I know this word could offend others, I tend to avoid calling someone else by that word.




Very well said, and I can't say it better.
I think the word sometimes, but I don't say it out loud.

My husband unfailingly calls me a b***h when he is angry.
Sometimes he calls me a f*****g b***h, at which point I will correct him: if I am a b***h, I am a CELIBATE one, because there will be no sex in the anywhere near future.

His favorite was "fat ugly b***h" but he just settles for b***h nowadays.

Yes, I hate the word, and
Yes, I embrace the word when it means
Babe in total control of herself.

It's getting to be something like the word queer -- used to be a slur but was redefined by those it was applied to.



SolaCatella
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29 May 2007, 4:49 pm

Erm. I don't use it except when I'm discussing dogs (where it is a very common word, there being no other gender differentiation term in dogs). Accordingly, I've known several wonderful bitches--my beloved pointer Maggie, this gorgeous Bullmastiff named Penny who loves to slime me at the dog park, and so forth... but you don't want to hear about that. :)

And I dunno, I've never used b***h as my ultimate insult (those tend to deal with maturity), and while I've been called one I usually shrug and keep going. I take so long to forge emotional bonds to the point that I am really hurt if someone calls me a name (especially one so devoid of thought as b***h) that I've usually drifted off from the sort of person that would do that long before it becomes an issue.

And extending calendale's/Touretter's discussion, why is being called a b***h so much worse than calling a guy a dog? Why is the one word considered a swear while the other is just a name?


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jewelie
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29 May 2007, 8:14 pm

Men define the terms.
It's up to women to redefine them.
b***h is bad because it refers to women.
Dog is OK/good because it refers to men.



spdjeanne
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31 May 2007, 9:20 am

I equate men calling women "b***h" or "girl" with whites calling blacks "n****r" or "boy". That is how offensive it is to me. I think the same issues apply to those words in that people are trying to redefine them and/or not use them entirely. Women may not number less than men in our society, but we are a minority because of the way we are treated.



LKL
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24 Jul 2007, 5:27 pm

It depends on who it's coming from. From a white male politician, it's a compliment (though not meant that way): it means 'powerful woman.'

From another woman, it usually means 'you have something/you are taking something that you do not deserve.'

From a regular man on the street, it means, 'you are being overly sensitive.'

Sometimes it also means, 'you should bow down to me as your master, and lick my shoes because I'm so much better than you.'

Based on the first definition, there's a very good feminist magazine called b***h.



hartzofspace
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25 Jul 2007, 9:51 pm

I always think that the term is used by those who feel threatened, out-maneuvered, or one-upped by a female.


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MomofTom
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27 Jul 2007, 10:40 pm

Beenthere wrote:
Taken from elsewhere...this says it all for me...

"When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a b***h.

When I stand up for those I love, they call me a b***h.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they
call me a b***h.

Being a b***h means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as
a b***h.


The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being
everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I
truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I
"should" be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there
is nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every

ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed.

And if that makes me a b***h, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud
to bear it.

B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself


This was a great read! Thank you for sharing!

Can I call it bitchin'? :lol: 8)


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Pandora
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03 Aug 2007, 8:44 am

jewelie wrote:
ADoyle wrote:
Beenthere wrote:
Taken from elsewhere...this says it all for me...

"When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a b***h.

When I stand up for those I love, they call me a b***h.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they
call me a b***h.

Being a b***h means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as
a b***h.


The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being
everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I
truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I
"should" be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there
is nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every

ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed.

And if that makes me a b***h, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud
to bear it.

B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself


That's how I feel about it as well. As I know this word could offend others, I tend to avoid calling someone else by that word.




Very well said, and I can't say it better.
I think the word sometimes, but I don't say it out loud.

My husband unfailingly calls me a b***h when he is angry.
Sometimes he calls me a f***ing b***h, at which point I will correct him: if I am a b***h, I am a CELIBATE one, because there will be no sex in the anywhere near future.

His favorite was "fat ugly b***h" but he just settles for b***h nowadays.

Yes, I hate the word, and
Yes, I embrace the word when it means
Babe in total control of herself.

It's getting to be something like the word queer -- used to be a slur but was redefined by those it was applied to.
jewelie, your husband must be a loser to call you these bad names. :(


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dawndeleon
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04 Aug 2007, 7:00 am

The word has lost its shock value with me. It has become more of a status symbol. still, its fun to say sometimes. I remember someone called myself and my catering partner a couple of lazy b*****s. The b***h part didnt bother me, the LAZY thing did. It used to bother me when i heard rappers refer to women as 'b*****s'. Then i realized that they didnt refer to all women like that, just the ones they can wear out and toss out. I guess it is a slight distinction.



Yupa
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08 Aug 2007, 6:25 pm

LKL wrote:
From a regular man on the street, it means, 'you are being overly sensitive.'


"b***h" could also be used to the opposite effect (i.e. it could be saying you are being overly insensitive rather than being overly sensitive. It could have the connotation of either extreme sensitivity or extreme insensitivity regardless of who's calling you that name). For example, I was once called a b***h when making fun of someone behind her back.
I also get jokingly called a b***h a lot by a gay male friend of mine, and I've never once been offended by it.



Yupa
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08 Aug 2007, 6:27 pm

dawndeleon wrote:
The b***h part didnt bother me, the LAZY thing did. It used to bother me when i heard rappers refer to women as 'b*****s'. Then i realized that they didnt refer to all women like that, just the ones they can wear out and toss out. I guess it is a slight distinction.

Well when you're talking about the word "b***h" in rap lyrics you have to consider the fact that in the Rap/Hip-Hop scene guys often refer to each other as "dog" without causing any particular offense (in most cases, anyway).



Yupa
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08 Aug 2007, 6:30 pm

Beenthere wrote:
B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself


"b***h" is often used to refer to a woman who is percieved as not being in control of herself, i.e. one who allows herself to be controlled by emotion rather than intellect/reason/etc.



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10 Aug 2007, 7:37 am

I thought a "b***h" was a woman who is nice to your face but then says bad things about you to other people; also someone who continually undermines you in front of other people or someone who is a boyfriend or husband-stealer.


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RaeRae
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23 Oct 2007, 2:40 pm

That word does nothing to me. I often think insults are funny even when aimed at me. Just remember that when someone stoops to name calling it says more about them than you and also means that they ran out of cards to play to win whatever argument you're having, its like folding in a card game. Consider it a win and then roll your eyes and laugh at their poor childish tactics. Keep in mind that when someone calls you a name they are expecting a hysterical reaction or to escalate the issue, don't give them what they want. If its someone you deal with regularly they will eventually quit cause they're not getting the results they want. They may temporarily up the anti with worse insults but if you continue to ignore their attempts they eventually run out of insults and without a reaction, words lose their meaning.



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25 Oct 2007, 6:08 am

M02 wrote:
b***h is a gender specific insult. so is fat cow, dumb blonde, slut, whore. Males are rarely called that. Are there any male gender specific insults?

Any gender can even be a misogynist. So what is the deal with b***h?

I think I will discontinue using b***h in my vocabulary. A cranky person is just that and I hate the same behaviour in a male. thanks.


has anyone ever heard of the word sloven?. it is an old fashioned word. It apparently is the male equivalent of slut.

anyone i try to keep the words b***h and slut out of my vocab. anyway i have noticed girls usually say things like "you are such a cow" to insult other girls. men usually get called a***holes.