Do you have maternal instincts?

Post Reply New Topic

I think I only have what can amount to a maternal instinct when it comes to dogs. The thing is, I don't think I would ever treat a child like I treat my dog. I hate when people dress up their animals and treat them like children. I treat my dog like a dog. But I certainly feel very affectionate towards dogs. In fact, I think I'm most affectionate towards dogs (I don't even show as much affection towards my own family).

I think dogs are just a little easier for me to engage with emotionally. Dogs have simple emotions and simple needs and sometimes all I need is simple.

Towards animals, yes. Not towards human babies, and I don't like children. I'm not having kids, ever.

Before I had kids, no. I don't like other people's children much (still don't, even after having my own). I didn't want kids until I met my husband. When I met my husband, I decided I wanted to have kids with him, but it was more about procreating *with him* than it was about procreating in general. I can't explain it and I know that sounds really weird. But I do love my kids and feel like mothering them has come fairly naturally to me for the most part. I guess it helps that they are the best children I have ever met!! !

I would like a baby in the future with my fiance once married but I'm terrified of giving birth, maybe they can just knock me out during the process so when I wake up it's all over and I have a lovely mini version of me and my fiance! Haha

My strongest maternal instincts happened during the years when I was pregnant and/or breastfeeding.

Otherwise, I'd say my maternal instincts are on the low side of normal. I think my husband's parental instincts are stronger.

Beyond that, I'm not really an "instinctual" type person. ...but I get by just fine.

Well, I USED to have VERY strong instincts----always wanted 4 kids (2 of each)----always LOVED everything about kids!

I have, since, experienced many years of not liking children, now, though----either because I've already been through "the change", and that changes one in alot of ways (I know I'm at the age where a woman is just going INTO menopause, but it was a different age, for me); or, because most kids, it seems, are so incredibly ill-mannered, nowadays.

I have, in the last few years, been, sort-of, feeling regret that my two pregnancies never came to fruition----maybe, it's sort-of a selfish thing; again, because of my age, and not having anybody, around. Then, the other day a young "girl" gave me her toddler to hold while she fumbled for her bus fare, and I thought to myself: "Ahh, now THIS is how it's suppose to be"; so, that seems to indicate, IMO, that my wanting to have children is very natural, and not selfish----'course I'm thinking it still is, though, because of my age----and besides, once they hit puberty, that "Ahh" goes away, for-the-most-part! LOL

No. Never did want children. Even as a small child, had no interest in babies, dolls, playing "mothers" etc. So glad
I did not give in to society's pressure and have any!

I would at this point not want to have children of my own...but cannot say I am entirely without maternal instincts. I mean if I found a lone child who was lost and scared I wouldn't be able to leave them I would have no choice but to try and help them get back with their parents for instance. So I do care for the welfare of children and if I was in a position where one was depending on me even for a time I'd put their wellbeing first. I just don't feel I am in any position to willfully have kids as I'd have no means to take care of them and doubt I could handle that responsibility.

Same here. When I hold a baby (if someone makes me hold them, I never want or ask to), I don't get those "mom feelings" like people say I should. Actually, I kind of feel like a robot when I do hold one, because I hyper focus on not dropping them. I do not want children in any capacity. If it's a biological urge, I was born without it.

I absolutely love children and have always wanted one of my own, but that is as far as my maternal instinct goes. I have a hard time really noticing and caring about people other than myself, and tend to forget about things all the time. Thankfully my dog is obnoxious and won't let me forget to take care of him (although I can unknowingly ignore his cries for quite a while, apparently), and I'm hoping that a crying child will be able to get my attention, too, because not having kids just isn't an option for me; it's the only thing I've consistently wanted my entire life. I feel selfish about it, though, like I'm going to be as distant as my parents were and not be good enough, and that maybe I'm just doing it to get a cute baby.

I have a huge family now though (having divorced parents just causes your family to explode) so it's not like there won't be a looot of people cooing over baby...

I don't think I am the natural maternal type - I've never been able to relate to it since a young age but as I get older I think I am getting more maternal. I am also petrified of childbirth and being pregnant - it freaks me out! I'm not good with babies but very good with young kids so who knows

Gosh, no, definitely not. I don't even really like the children who are related to me. I have no feelings of anything toward them at all, except a vague sense of annoyance at times. I wouldn't even hold my nephew when he was a baby.

That probably sounds awful but children make me feel profoundly uncomfortable. I couldn't say why, really. Perhaps they make me feel even more awkward than usual? I really struggle trying to understand the desire to have children.

Even as a child, when I had baby dolls, they were always someone else's child I was looking after as I thought the idea of having my own children was 'yucky'.

I have maternal instincts, but it's not strong. I imagine if I went through a pregnancy, it would kick in and I'd feel it more, but I've never wanted children of my own. The thought of going through pregnancy and childbirth just horrifies me. I've never had any desire to do that. I could see myself maybe having stepchildren, if they were at least preteen age and I didn't have to take care of them full-time. But I can't see myself taking care of a baby or small child. I'm just too scatterbrained and I'm afraid I would be one of those people who walks away for what seems like only half a minute, and comes back to find the child drowning in the bathtub, or sticking a fork in a wall outlet.

IF I ever had children, the only way it could possibly work is if I had a husband who was willing to stay home and do most of the actual mothering. I have more of an instinct to go out in the world, gather stuff to bring back to the nest, provide food and shelter and protect from danger. If one of my cats gets tangled up with a wild animal, I get a real surge of adrenaline to go after the predator. I've had sick kittens that I really bonded with and took special care of, and I felt very nurturing towards them, but I was really eager for them to get out of that phase and be more independent.

^ Same.

So glad I'm not the only one! I realise I'm still on the younger side, but I really can't see myself changing. Even as a kid I didn't really like kids (most of the time) I hated dolls growing up, but loved my stuffed animals.

I seem to be surrounded by relatives and friends with young children, or people who want them. I love those kids to bits, but I'm still awkward around them and never know how to act or talk with them. I usually just try to copy what other adults do Then I see programs on TV about 'miracle babies' and those success stories about women who get pregnant against all odds... I truly am happy for them, but I just cannot relate to that instinctual drive to have biological children. It's just not there.

And nothing creeps me out more than the thought of being pregnant (I even have nightmares about it sometimes)!

Not in any possible ways! Yeah, I might be young, but I've never liked kids. They're noisy and they spread lots of germs which I am afraid of..

The idea of being pregnant creeps me out. I don't want to have kids ever.

So it's a big nope from here!

Yes. I wanted children from my teens. I wanted to build my own little social group like The Sims if I'm honest. I hate being pregnant, it's the longest 9 months of my life and I push for an induction every time but I love my children. I'd have 20 of them. People think I'm strange and am obsessed with having babies. That is probably true to a degree.

However, my maternal instinct does not extend to children who I have not given birth to. When my cousin had her first child I wouldn't even hold her unless forced, the girl creeped me out even as a baby and as she grew I called her Damien openly to my family (not my cousin but to my mother and sister). My sister had her first child 18 months ago and I wanted so much to feel love for him but I don't. I don't dislike him or feel repulsed by him like I do with my cousin's child but I see him no different than were he a stranger's child. My sister would be devastated if she knew as she adores my children so I have to fake being nice to him whenever they visit. She is currently pregnant again and I am really hoping I like this one

I struggle with the play interaction also. I am lucky that my husband (although very Aspie too) is actually good at being like a child, he's very immature at times and so he enjoys messing around pretending and game playing which I feel completely uncomfortable doing. It makes me feel less guilty and that they aren't missing out of that side of childhood.

From a practical side, having kids is my way to prevent feeling lonely in old age and hopefully having someone to look after me.