Do you have a red flag list?

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Not entirely sure if these are all relevent to abuse, per say but a few of mine would be
-They want you to commit before you've spent any time together(like you've talked online or only met briefly once)
-They are secretive about their identity(don't show picture/location or anything on online profile and refuse to give you any of those details before meeting in person)
-They have baggage attached to another woman....steer clear of that, doesn't necessarily make them a bad person but if they're still stuck on someone else its simply not going to work.
-They try and keep you from seeing your friends/family or pressure you to stay away from people you know and trust
-They drastically change their behavior to be more menacing after having treated you almost 'too' well for a time.
-They meet you one time and wont stop blowing up your cell phone with texts about how they miss you and want you and even start guilt tripping you for not expressing the same enthusiasm. To me that says they would end up being very possessive and obsessive.

and those are just a few....also it is best to always have a cell phone or tell someone you know where you are meeting the guy/when you plan to be back in case something did go wrong.

They don't listen to metal...is one of mine.

They don't listen to metal...was one of mine.

I am certain that the Schizophrenia reference was a self-awareness of limitations red flag, and not related to abuse.

Much like the double post emphasis Sweetleaf places on not listening to metal is a self-awareness of limitations red flag.

Drug addiction is a red flag because somebody addicted to drugs can go out and sell most of my stuff within a day while I'm at work.

Wanting to know where you are at all times is another. I am a private person, and sometimes don't want people to know where I am.

A person who always tries to knock down your ideas, and always calls you "stupid" and says I lack "common sense" raises other red flags.

A person who yells at every little thing is another red flag.

I think Sweetleaf's list is quite insightful, except maybe the metal one

A red flag I really need to watch out for more, is when things go too well, too fast. The old saying "if it seems too good to be true, it usually is" applies for me.

I know myself and I know how I struggle with human contact and how that makes me feel lonely sometimes. This is also something that people notice about me. I have been successfully manipulated by people who play at that loneliness. If someone is too nice to me and seems to understand me too well, too sudden, that's when I really have to watch my defences.

There are lots of things I would look for just as a compatibility problem. But for me the biggest one is I know I will never hit it off with someone if they don't believe in anything supernatural.

It would also be a huge red flag for me if a person doesn't question things they were told in school, by the media, by the government, by religion, or whoever or whatever else has had a lot of influence over them.

As for abuse though, it's not like there are only certain people who are abusive, and others who are not. Almost anyone can become abusive under certain circumstances.

A couple of things that can abusive behavior are obeying authority, and the need for social conformity. See, as some examples, the Milgram experiment, or the fast food strip search scam that led to sexual assault of one McDonald's employee.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mpAbig8ttY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTX42lVDwA4

I don't trust people who aren't willing to question authority and think for themselves.

Someone who seems to always invalidate and cause confusion because it could be gaslighting.

red flag lists don't do much for us, naive creatures

I just try to take things slowly and observe how I feel about someone. If I catch myself making excuses for them or explaining their behaviour to myself more than once, that is a very red flag.

I don't even have to worry about red flags because I am married but I still have some listed for others I think are red flags:

They are wanting a relationship too quickly

They seem so into you when you both had just met and they want to be with you always and they make you feel special, they shower you with gifts or taking you out and they want to know everything about you so that includes wanting to read through your post history

They are very judgmental and judge everything people do and what they they, what they wear, etc.

Look at how they talk about others, is it all negative or positive if negative, a red flag

Not keeping their promises

You often feel like breaking up with them and even have to threaten it

Have lot of negative opinions about you and very critical about you

Let's their kid eavesdrop on your conversations and they have to tell their kid everything about you so it's like everything is their kid's business

Is a slob and if they have a messy home

Nothing you do is ever good enough for them because all they do is complain and say how self centered you are

You feel you have to walk on eggshells and keep your feelings bottled up

You feel you are crazy and that your memory had gone bad

They are in a custody battle and their ex never wants them to see her kids and she doesn't even want him around their child and you and him always have to meet her in a parking lot to get his child when he has visitation rights and she is always with her new partner or with someone when we meet

He is always the victim because bad things always happen and everyone around him seems to be an as*hole and screwing him over

They talk bad about their exes right when you first meet

He has a very private life and wants no one to know anything about him or his life

Fears being seen as a control freak and always thinks other people think they are one

Has to always listen in on your conversations and wants to know what you talked about on the phone

Wants you to cut off contact with your online friends or other people in real life who are the opposite gender

Sees you as a child and ignores you for it and they feel like they are with a child

You are always embarrassing for them

Is very emotional, anything makes them cry

Is a procrastinator and can never seem to follow through with their plans and seems totally disorganized so you never know what to expect and if something is going to happen or not

Silent treatment or ignoring you

Always puts themselves first

Not understanding of your feelings and doesn't even make en effort and never even apologizes, it's always your fault for how you feel

Always the victim and the ugh double standards, it's okay for them to do something but not you to do that exact same thing

Willful ignorance

Homophobia

Bigotry

Have problems (I don't mean normal problems or disabilities, I mean mental issues)

Always have excuses

Doesn't want to do anything to improve or help themselves

Judgemental and delusional sums it up quite nicely.

Passive aggressive behaviour is also a big one for me.

On a strictly personal note, I avoid perception driven people like the plague. The kind who never really register what you actually say, but what they think you mean. They are the worst possible match for me.