Who doesn't want babies?

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Never ever wanted kids... Hated being around kids even when I was a kid.

When I met my husband I flat out told him I didn't want kids. To which he laughed and didn't take me seriously. A few months into dating I told him again I didn't want them. He told me we would have to break up if that was the case. So I changed my mind...
Fast forward a few years, and it's the night before our wedding. I tell him no kids till I'm 30 ( I was 25 at the time). 1 month later I end up pregnant with out first. He was very excited. I was crying my eyes out on the bathroom floor.

When our daughter was born I begged my mom and my husband to take care of her for me. I struggled with very basic parenting skills . When she was a year and a half, I started to look into the possibility that I may have aspergers.
I ended up having a son when my eldest turned 3.
I felt more confident as a parent the second time around but, it was very overwhelming. Especially because, I am a stay at home mom and because i ended up taking care of my niece for 12 hours a day who was 6 months old at the time. So in reality I was a mom to three kids.
My kids are almost 6 and 3 now. I no longer look after my niece.

Most of the time I feel like I'm on edge of losing my mind. The sensory overload is intense. I have literally yelled "stop touching me! I can't handle it anymore!"

The guilt I feel for not being the "typical" parent is hard to deal with. I can't do play dates well, I can't really play with them cause I don't know how and The regret I feel on the worse days can really get to me.
It's very hard to reconcile loving a human being so much, and feeling so overwhelmed and wanting to be alone.

A lot of parents will say how blessed they are to have kids, how much they love them and how they can't imagine life without them.

All of that is true and I feel all of that. However, if I knew what I know now I'm not sure I would have had kids.
But then again, I wouldn't be who I am today without them. And I am certain I wouldn't have found out about aspergers had I not had kids.

Now, I'm just really focusing and learning about asking for help, opening up about my struggles and really try and learn coping skills so I can be a better mom to them.

I think there's no right or wrong answer to having or not having kids.

I very much admire those who make the conscious choice not to and I also equally admire those who have had kids and are on the spectrum themselves.

I always knew that I didn't want children, and after almost 30 years with my partner, I haven't changed my mind.

me too...no getting pregnant, no children.goodness, some mini me in this world?no thanks, earth can hardly handle me.

Despite that I enjoy being with infants, toddlers, or children...
I never wanted to be a mother.
Marriage never crossed my mind, let alone having my own family. Even as a single mom, or a surrogate.

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I'm still not 100% certain, but I don't think I want to have a baby. I don't think I can handle all the crying and screaming and pooping and puking. I have trouble even handling my cat some days (he's very vocal and affectionate and when I'm stressed, the meowing and his soft fur drive me crazy.) I was also pregnant once for 8 weeks and it was awful. I didn't like feeling like my body was no longer mine and the morning sickness was brutal. I don't think I couldn't handle feeling something moving inside me later in the pregnancy either.

That being said, I don't consider myself child free because I would still like to foster older children someday if I ever get to the point where I feel stable enough.

One day, when I was eight years old, and walking home from school, I decided that i would never marry, never have a boy friend, and never have kids. I remember that I really felt strongly about it at the time. I am in my mid 50s now, and have never changed my mind. Some people might change their mind on decisions like this as they grow up, and that's okay, but it's also okay to stick with the original decision, if that's what you really prefer, which it was in my case. From my mid teens on into my 30s, elderly female relatives at family gatherings would keep asking me about boy friends, and when was I going to get married, and have kids. I'd tell them I didn't have any boy friends, didn't want any, and wasn't going to get married, and didn't want kids, and they would say I'd change my mind, but I really did know how I felt about this. They eventually stopped hassling me about it. Then, about 10 1/2 years ago I had cancer surgery which put a permanent end to any chances of reproduction. That has never bothered me.

What it boils down to is:

Do you want a boy or girl friend?
Do you want to get married?
Do you want kids?
Do you want to skip any one of those?

It's your life. You get to choose whether to have a girl/boy friend, or a spouse, or kids, or none of those. You also get to change your mind later on, if your feelings change, except that once the ladies are past child bearing years, or if they have a hysterectomy, like I did, then there won't be any more chances of having kids, unless you adopt. Bear in mind that it may be hard, or even impossible to adopt if you are officially diagnosed, and thus known, to have something like Asperger's or Autism. Adoption agencies prefer to place kids with parents who don't have health issues that could have a negative impact on the kids. Mental health issues are only a part of Autism spectrum family of problems, but they can cause a lot of trouble for kids exposed to persons struggling with such problems.

Children aren't dolls, and they aren't therapists, so you shouldn't have them just to play with, or out of thinking that because they are yours, they will make you feel better, or more loved, etc. It's the children who are more in need of feeling better, and feeling loved. They are not supposed to be used as a psychological crutch by their parents.

Anyway, back on topic. If you want a boy friend, or a husband, and kids, go for it, unless your Autism traits would cause too many problems with such relationships. In that case consider a pet instead. If you don't want a boy friend, or husband, and kids, you are free to choose not to have them.

I chose a solitary path. It was right for me, and I am not a bit sorry about my choice, but I realize it's not right for everyone.

Questor, I love you!

Like you, I decided at the age of 8 that I didn't want babies (in fact I grew up to dislike children. I decided at the age of 22 I didn't want marriage or even a boyfriend. And I have neither wavered from nor regretted my decision.

Good for you.

Love your quote. Thoreau is brilliant.

I like being around kids, as I volunteered with them for a long time, but it would be a bad idea for me to have them. I'm still considering adoption, but the difficult part is that I know my boyfriend does want kids someday. I just know that I shouldn't have them because of crap genetics. Most moms on the spectrum were diagnosed after their kids, so they didn't know any better. If I ended up deciding to have kids that ended up being autistic, I would never get over the guilt. If the kid is adopted and autistic that would be fine, but if it were my own, I would just feel way too guilty putting my kid through some of the crap I've been through. Birth control is a wonderful thing.

I would love a baby of my own, but I'm very worried about it too. A lot of women feel nauseas and be sick when pregnant, and I have Emetophobia. Also I am scared of giving birth, or even having c-section. And I'm worried my baby might be severely autistic or have some other disability. And, back to Emetophobia, babies and children pick up sickness bugs a lot, and I am terrified of vomiting. I'm afraid that my Emetophobia might make me a bad parent.

I don't want babies and never wanted them.

The only babies I like are baby animals.

My parents used to beat the hell out of me and when i turned 24 my mom forcibly got me married to a guy. In my country if you dont have kids the mother in laws force you to get divorced from their sons

So after 4 months of marriage i got pregnant. It was terrible with morning sickness, vomitting and i lost 20kgs.
in my third semester my mom got my bro's wedding fixed and she started yelling nonstop asking me to attend that wedding in other part of the country.

with a very heavy, pregnant belly i forcibly attended the wedding after that she started yelling again that i have to do my delivery on my own and she doesnt want to take part in it

my hubby send me off to my inlaws who kept babbling i am supposed to take care of house and not come here with pregnant belly.

then she kept mumbling she wants male heir only no daughters. then on day of delivery she denied me permission to have c-section. after 12 agonising hours i was allowed csection.

the baby was very heavy and couldnt come through normal delivery

all said and done my mom again disappeared after baby was born and i was left to deal with it. i have to deal with depression, mood swings, anxiety and dealing with baby was very difficult

i remember my son used to go to play in colony garden i wouldnt accompany him due to anxiety. he had major falls couple of times.

he suffered due to my anxiety issues. i find it tough andi have to force myself to talk with other parents etc for info on child raising etc

I've never felt any desire to have children. In fact the fear of becoming pregnant, and fear of possible side effects of contraception, made me choose sterilization at the age of 29.

never want kids. been saying it since i was 11. im 28 now. glad someone else thinks so too.

I'm one of the few women on the spectrum who wants to have children. I don't want to upset anyone by saying this but I'd prefer to have an autistic child over an NT one. The reason why is 'cause I feel like I'd understand an autistic kid better and I think the social demands of an NT kid would be too much for me. I'd probably be better with an introvert or ambivert NT than extrovert, but I won't go around complaining if my kid is an NT extrovet either.

I'd like to adopt an autistic child, I think, but I'd also like to have a biological child. I could go for 2 biological children and an adopted child, but no more than 3 kids for me.

Sometimes, I feel like an outcast in the autism community because of this.

I think if you don't want kids then don't have them. Raising kids is not for everyone, and no one should feel forced into it, just because society perceives it as the " Norm "
I have 6 kids, all with separate problems. 2 on the spectrum. ( Possibly 3 )
They are grown up now. The youngest being 16 and the oldest being 27. My youngest son who has Aspergers, would love to have kids one day and told me many times. My 19 year old daughter who does not have autism says she never wants kids. My eldest son who may or may not have Aspergers ( Awaiting an assessment ) is about to become a father to baby 3 in a few months time.
So as you see eveyone is different, Neuro diverse or neuro typical, everyone thinks differently.
I myself am awaiting an assessment also to see if I am on the spectrum, and I had 6 kids and would of loved to of had more.
As I said before if you want kids have them, and if you don't want kids then don't. Don't let society dictate their ideas of " Normal " to you.