Things I have learned in life about being female

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Posts have been removed from this thread that were either insulting or off-topic.

While men are allowed to post in the Women's Discussion, they need to do so respectfully. Posting off-topic content isn't respectful. Those who wish to talk about ways to pick up women will find that L&D are far better suited for this than the Women's Discussion, and particularly in a thread where it is entirely off-topic.

Posting things like "12 and already mansplaining" is considered an insult and is also against the rules.

Also keep in mind that sexism is against the rules. If this thread becomes misandrist it will be locked.

Please continue the discussion without insults or derailing the thread.

It is a fine line. If a statement refers to men not some men or without specific examples then if you were substitute men with black/white/gay then it would reasonably be considered bigoted.

The disclaimer at beginning the states "this is how it is", granted she also said this has been from from thing she has he been told, in which case I accept that. However that means those people who told her that are bigoted, including against men.

In any case I think it is in the realms of the discussion, and relevant to say simply that these perceptions are not always right in general. In fact I think more often than not people aren't acting like this.

To the OP I can see where you are coming from. I'm as against social conservatism as I am identitarianism.

I think they are equally regressive. They both pigeon hole people, and place expectations on people in practice, despite both claiming to be in the best interest of society, which they are not.

I think most people are more reasonable these days and liberal in the original sense of the word. I'm socially libertarian.

Political correctness is a different matter thought. This just encourages virtue signalling and relates to the bigoted identitarian culture. Just take any election, it a quite common tactic to take a taboo and taint the other candidate with it just before the vote, using a tenuous link. That candidate is then expected to virtue signal, and not doing so is almost consider an admission of guilt. This is despite the fact that they may be innocent have have a reasonable explanation. They are all at it, thought.

Often were the difference lies is expectation of accommodations. I don't think interventions into people lives is a way to address any issues. They are also free to express their opinion however old fashioned, it is only if is required of you that it crosses the line.

Don't be a afraid to ask for more space, but give people the benefit of the doubt. I tend to treat people as equally self absorbed, including myself. In that model they are unlikely to be spending much of their considering how to inconvenience me, even if they do by thinking of themselves. However pretty much everyone has inconvenience someone.

With any social policy it is important to consider how it would affect basic freedoms. There is a reason why fundamental rights are few in number. They can't counteract each other, one person's right cannot counteract anther's. Most rights are fundamental, derivative of, or pseudo-rights privileges.

It is the later we have to be careful of, if rules are put in place to address a social issue such as how a demographic feel they are treated this might actual meant they everybody become less free, and lead to new stereotypes and expectations.

I don't think you do. I wrote about something very personal and it seems like you're trying to turn it into an ideological discussion, making accusations of sexism, and getting defensive over your right to post in this section. Please take it to PPR.

Again a reiterate the rules do not prevent me from discussing what you have written. This is not a carte blanche rule to post anything unchallenged. It is not a shield to say something about demographic without any recourse, simply becuase you consider it personal.

If you are a blowing off steam that is not a problem I totally get it, but expect no response is unrealistic. I'm trying to be civil and move this way from resentment and bitterness.

You have talking in general terms, you said this was stuff that you were told. So that is the basis I will analyse it.

This not really personal in the sense that it is individual instances you are talking about, in fact it not even direct instances you are talking about but something you have been told as I understand from your disclaimer. We don't know who these people are that told you this.

You are talking about general perceptions, as far as I'm aware. I'm sure many people have heard people saying things like this. I don't doubt it and am not questioning the possibility.

I think it is valid to point out there is a differnce from perceptions to how people general are, and if people genuinely are like that or some like to propagate that idea, then they are just as bigoted against either sex. If you learned these thing I'd hope you don't adhere to them, as I doubt you would.

Otherwise what direction do you want this discussion to go? What do you want to be the type of post that you would be happy with? More of the same? Is there no other scope for discussion within this topic? That is a shame.

Last edited by 0_equals_true on 15 May 2016, 7:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

I actually don't feel that I veered away from the topic. I was relating my experiences in relation to personal space.

We were discussing a little history--of the time when Walkman dominated the transit landscape. This was when the use of headphones began to delineate a desire for people not to talk to them.

I reflected on the past, and found that, perhaps, I was imposing myself on people on the train back 30 years ago.

Some people believe strangers talking to them is a violation of personal space. I wasn't cognizant of that back then. I'm cognizant of that now.

I actually believe the Woman's Forum should be a sanctuary for women.

I apologize if it was felt that I veered from the topic.

I see all my posts on this thread have been removed (not sure why,) so I'll reiterate that I don't think this is a gender issue. I think it is a personality issue. As in the example I gave about the old lady who kept moving closer to me. She was not a physical threat, but she took up a lot of space.
People will give you as much space as you push for. It's not the fault of others' if you don't.

I don't understand what your point is in continuing to post in this thread, unless it's to troll or bully the OP.

I am talking about things that have happened to me, not anything I've been "told." I said nothing about being "told" anything in the OP and it's very clear that I didn't. So it comes across like you're deliberately misreading the post to try to forward your own agenda, which looks to be more ideological in nature.

Ok I understand I better now. I fail to see how making that mistake furthers any agenda, I still stand by what I said.

I'm not bullying anyone. I made valid points which I stand by. Others have made the same points I did.

For instance the body size/shape point was made by at least one other person. Women and men have made some of the same points.

I can see some of them are tangential (I'm a lateral thinker) however many of them aren't, they are related to what was said.

Is the objection to me being here because I'm male?

Also perceptions about a wide demographic, based on personal experience or not, is by its nature going to be political. It is difficult to get round that. One person's perceptions can shape another's.

Last edited by 0_equals_true on 15 May 2016, 10:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

The objection is that you are misinterpreting the nature of the thread. This isn't about discussing a demographic or having a political discussion, it's about me and the ideas I have internalized about what it means to be female. You don't seem to understand where I'm coming from at all, and you seem intent on dominating the thread with your misperceptions.

I understood everything under the disclaimer, I didn't understand the disclaimer.

The points I made still relates to what you said. I don't think it realistic for people not to comment and interpret your experiences as they have done, both men and women, including some of the same points.

HTTP offers equal opportunity for making post requests, and this site doesn't discriminate by gender when making those requests. However, I will leave this thread now as I have nothing further to add.

Or else I could forget that I was ever born female, put on my blue Stahlhelm and march down the sidewalk (my natural walk) to all the places that I want to go on any particular day.

I honestly don't feel that you understood any of it.

I'm so glad to see you posting here. So rare to see you in this section. Your perspective on this topic is unique and very welcomed.