What does a meltdown look like in an adult woman?

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Meltdowns can definitely vary from person to person. What you describe certainly sounds like a meltdown. I have crying fits too. My body's reaction to any strong emotion is to cry, and I hate it, because it draws attention to me right when it's hardest for me to speak, and I want to be left alone, not have everyone asking me what's wrong. When I have a meltdown, sometimes I will hit myself, or ram my head into a pillow repeatedly, or lie on my bed/the floor and thrash around for a while (when this happens, any object small enough that I come in contact with will be thrown, as well). But more often, I have shutdowns instead, where I just become mostly oblivious to the outside world, and my brain kind of goes on "autopilot" (as in, I can still walk around, even getting to a place I've been to before - like classes when I was in school - without running into things or anything, but I'll have no recollection of doing so. Otherwise I'm pretty unresponsive when this happens.).

I've been having exactly the same problem, only not knowing what caused these explosions of crying and as a child I tried to fit them to any acceptable cause... then, over the years, I learned to postpone the meltdowns, even silence them, mechanically acting "properly" and forcing myself not to feel anything at all. You can guess, how it interfered with my mental health :>

Now I just tell people I have a terrible headache and need to be alone in silence. Easy lie, but people understand this and they naturally act the right way.

Yes. Not only is that normal, it's actually rather subtle.

I think I had a meltdown today.
I went to a new place for a course that I thought was just an afternoon to be told it's an afternoon a week for 12 weeks!! !
Just that one thing caused me to meltdown. I couldn't function anymore, I was crying uncontrollably and although I was taken out of the room by one of the course leaders she kept on talking to me and I couldn't calm myself down for ages.
I've never had this in front of strangers before, usually if I can't cope I'm at home and I go into my room to calm down.
It was so embarrassing, and I've got to go back for the next 11 weeks (unless I get kicked off the course for being to disruptive by crying again!! !)
I'm really going to have to work out how to get through this.

Well, I know my reactions are not so extreme, but it was happening to me so often that I was starting to worry about it. As a child I used to have violent and out-of-control meltdowns, but now I don't have those anymore.

Also, the very subtlety of my meltdowns also concerned me a bit. I've read that meltdowns are impossible to control, yet I am capable of modifying my behavior a little bit during a meltdown (if I'm in public I usually sit down and cry silently, covering my face and maybe rocking a little, instead of physically acting out as I do at home). That, and the fact that my crying fits are always caused by emotional dysregulation and never by sensory overload, made me wonder if they were indeed meltdowns or something else.

I have always had crying meltdowns and some angry ones. A lot of times it's triggered by big, unexpected changes that happen with no or little warning.

One time I had a meltdown at work because I showed up to find a wall where there wasn't supposed to be one and they moved my desk. At a different job, I became overwhelmed by the workload and customers I had to stop and go outside and cry because I couldn't handle it. It was embarrassing and awful..

But I've gotten a lot better lately. I still have meltdowns sometimes though.

I've found emotional intelligence has helped me a lot. I now try to control my thoughts so that I think more positively. I try to always be more understanding of others and remind myself that NTs think differently and that they aren't intentionally trying to hurt me or upset me.

For me during meltdowns I scream and can get violent.

My last meltdown was a couple months go in front of my parents & sister. I believed my sister was gossiping too much. I started yelling, swearing, & crying. I was verbally abusive & out of control. My family froze. I felt shame, but I never apologized to my sister. I did express my regret to my parents the next day. I'm a work in progress (as is she).

From my experience, a lot of tears, potential snapping at people and just wanting to go home to bed. Inability to think clearly.

I get highly irritable and may start yelling or throw soft things. Usually I try to get to a quiet place, or go to sleep if possible. I have insomnia, so they are triggered by not getting enough rest, and being stressed out, which is often lol.

Crying. Lots of crying, sometimes even in public...pretty embarrassing!

Crying; I've only recently noticed that I don't usually cry when I'm sad, although that happens to. I think that most of the time I cry because I've been bottling up stuff and it all pours out when I'm alone and have a day (or afternoon) off from work. I'm starting to embrace it as a form of catharsis.

Anger; I used to get really frustrated, even though I didn't know it was frustration that lead to anger due to the fact that I was frustrated. I used to throw and break things as a sort of physical manifestation of what I was feeling. It mostly happened with my ex-so, when I felt that I wasn't understood. It was either a way of explaining myself, sometimes just uncontrollable frustration. I've learned about delayed emotional processing just recently and it kinda explains when I would start feeling frustrated or anxious about stuff I thought didn't bother me at the time when they happened. I would feel extremely distressed/anxious/angry and would just start slamming the doors or throwing stuff.

Last gigantic meltdown; With my ex-so, around 6 months ago. I don't remember clearly how did it start, but I remember that I was sensing that something was off with me, so I've tried isolating myself in order not to cause any further damage. He tried pulling me out of that, I can only imagine how did it look for him, he was probably getting frustrated as well, while I was shutting myself off. I've hid myself in the closet (I would to that sometimes when I was a kid) and I remember I just wanted to be left alone. He tried "provoking" me, I felt the little Hulk rising plus the tunnel vision and I really didn't want to break anything or cause any damage to someone else, so I started cutting my hand with a kitchen knife and burning my skin with cigarette. I've never done that. He got angry/desperate, he got physical. He left, I've just laid on the bed, face against the wall, in the darkness and was sobbing. I was never into self-mutilation, I'm not self-destructive and I try really hard to be as functioning as possible.

Except for the self-diagnosis, I'm not officialy diagnosed with Aspergers. I know there's a lot of overlap between BPD and ASD, but I honestly, logically, cannot believe that it's just BPD, although there are probably some traits.

Reading about ASD has been helping me a great deal, when I start feeling overworked, I know what's going to happen when I get a day off, so I prepare myself for that. I don't punish myself for feeling like that anymore, I just try going with it and letting it all out in a controlled environment.

It's kinda funny realizing that you didn't know how you actually felt. It's common knowledge that if you act like a little Hulk you're just angry or if you cry you're just sad, so naturally you start feeling like a lesser being for being angry at small stuff. I've been learning to express my frustration as clearly as possible and it's helping quite a bit.

I no longer feel like a bad person when my brain goes a little bad, if that makes any sense.

Its anything really. kicking, hitting, screaming, crying, throwing things. I think the difference is but not too sure, you can take yourself away from others around you that might get hurt or not understand your actions. I was able to do this on Monday especially as we were in a busy high street and it could have resulted in me getting in trouble with police.

Having just had one, the biggest thing that sticks for me out beyond the sudden uncontrollable crying is an intense desire to "go home"....even when I am home.

I just shut down. Am unable to process what other people say, unable to speak, completely brainfogged.

Usually look like I am going to faint.

throwing things and breaking them. things i had broken include a laptop...

shutting down and not speaking for several days