Anyone else afraid of getting pregnant?

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I have to say I never thought about pregnancy and childbirth much until they happened. I was raised in a tough environment without a lot of choices. If you have to do something you don't like, you just grit your teeth and do it. The less you think about it the better. If you don't expect it to be rainbows and sunshine, hopefully you won't be disappointed. I have to agree that the discomfort of pregnancy is nothing compared to raising the kid.

If you have a supportive partner and no major health trouble, I'd say go for it after the pandemic is over. Pregnancy lowers your immune system. Life is never what you expect it to be. Be ready to adapt and accept changes and you'll be OK.

I understand your maternal instinct perfectly...My maternal instinct became very strong between age 30 and 33...At a time when i was focused on my career and did not have the prospect of marriage...I consulted with Mom...And knowing that i counted with her support, i decided to adopt...But before i researched how to go about it, something unexpected happened...

My beloved niece of two and a half years "fell on my lap"...(Not to be taken literally)...I mean, circumstances led me to play a major role in her upbringing, like that of a 'Substitute Mom'...Appx. two years later, my beloved nephew was born; and yet again, my brother needed my help...Working as a Substitute Teacher, only three days per week, allowed for the flexibility that i needed to raise "my little ones"...(That is how i call them)...And so, for appx. one blessed decade, i had the joyful opportunity to raise my beloved niece and my beloved nephew...All along they had their mother and father present in their lives...And i never allowed them to call me "Mom"...I knew that for their own mental and emotional wellbeing, it was best that they continue to bond with their mother as much as our circumstances allowed for...

Playing the role of a "Substitute Mom" was no easy task...In fact, it is a responsibility of collosal proportions...I dare say that it comes with greater challenges than raising one's own children...Still, I succeeded in providing for their needs--physically, emotionally and spiritually...Close family and friends would often comment, "Look, how loving she is to them...Just imagine how much more she would be if she had her own children"...What they did not understand is that i was already giving them my ALL...That i was already loving them as my own ...That is not possible to love any more than how i love them to this day...Because maternal love comes from the heart and not the womb!! !...Sadly, my ALL would never be enough for my beloved niece, because it was her mother's love that she yearn for ...

And so, at around age 11, my beloved niece began to ask why she could not live with her parents, like all her friends from school...Around this time, i noticed that she was beginning to 'die', the way a flower dies when placed in the wrong place...She was hurting; and i was hurting with her ...But, i knew that her little brother was not yet ready for the transition...And frankly, i doubted that their mother was ready to take on such a responsibility...It was a huge dilemma for me, one that caused me great emotional distress...I could not, i would not, retain them by my side at the detriment of my beloved niece!! !...I wanted both siblings to remain together during this important transition...And so, within a year or so, i returned them to their mother...Today, i am happy to report that though said attempt to transition did not go smoothly (they were back with me, along with their little sister, for an additional 6 months)...I am happy to report that they have since lived with their parents and the girls have developed the special bond--they so much yearn for--with their mother...As to my little boy, my love was always enough for him... ...

My little ones are not so little anymore...My beloved niece is 18 now; and my beloved nephew is not yet 16...Prior to the pandemic, when i would see them regularly, they would hug me and rest their head on my shoulder as they did when they were little...And they would stay there, feeling my comfort until i would release them, because they weight too much ...I feel their love...I am beyond happy when i see them...And i am proud of myself for the formidable job i did raising them ...

Yesterday, my beloved niece visited me...I hugged her with my eyes from a short distance due to this pandemic that forces us to keep our distance...I told her that as soon as her brother turns 18, i will transfer our property's title to her and her brother...She, being so selfless, responded with a quiet "Ok"...Their grandparents and i worked hard to secure them this permanent place of residence, where they grew-up and which they love...Their grandparents and i are in total agreement in this respect; and we cannot wait to make it happen...

Sorry for this rant, but i hope that you have a better understanding of the rewards and challenges unique when raising other people's children...Looking back, if i were presented the opportunity to do it again, i gladly would without hesitation...Have a blessed Sunday you all...