Ladies: What's up with creepy men?

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someone says hello and i think they are being nice.
they may however have an ulterior motive and that is where i am stumped.
i cannot read beyond the "hello" very easily.

Well, that's what they say, but the youngest guy I've ever been with was 35 and they've all been two minute wonders. Such a bloody letdown - I'm pretty over it.

But on the topic of the creepy men.... I don't define a man's creepiness by his physical appearance, but rather by his lack of ability to notice that he has made me extremely uncomfortable, be it by his proximity, what he says, or even something less tangible.

Why should we have sex with men that we find repugnent? I'm intelligent and attractive I can afford to be selective.. why would I want to risk repoducing with someone who detracts from that?

Yes, many times. I'm a young, reasonably pretty female, and many times, I've either been approached by men and felt like I was practically being cornered like an animal, or had men shout things at me from their cars/bikes/trucks. If I were in a club, or some other social event where flirtation and mixing is expected, I would be less anxious. But when I'm out shopping for groceries, walking home from school, or just out for a stroll, the attention is unwelcome and makes me uncomfortable and frightened. The comments tend to be obscene and disgusting as well. I had one man shout at me from his car that he wanted to "eat dinner off that fine ass of yours", or have had men make gestures that even I as an aspie can too clearly understand the connotation of, I've also been subjected to random gropings, slappings, and pinchings.
It's beyond irritating, it's downright scary. I have considered getting a dog for protection, just to ease my worried mind that one man may take it too far.

I agree with your definitions but AFAIC, most women grossly overuse and abuse the terms "creepy/creep" and "perv".
If a man is open about his sexual desires towards women in general that he's not involved with he is branded a "perv". But "creep" is actually a slang term coined by women to denote an unattractive man; EVEN IF he doesnt necessarily post any threat to women.

Me, too.

Apparently, sometimes hello means hello and sometimes it means 'let's have sex'. I can't tell the difference. I think it all means hello.

So, if I say hello back, and all I mean is hello, they think that we have now agreed to have sex or something.

So, I look at the ground a lot.

Haha, whenever a guy says hello to me, I ignore him! That definitely sends a message that I want to be sent:
"NO SEX FOR YOU, YOU FILTHY MALE!"

I seem to be invisible in public. I don't think I've ever really been flirted with.

One exception that comes to mind is when I was about 13. My family and I were stationed on Okinawa, and we took a short vacation to the Philippenes. It was very nice there, but the men all STARED at me. It was a scary kind of stare; not a flirty smile, but like they were up to no good. They would all stop what they were doing, and look at my face without blinking. They'd turn their heads to keep looking, even if they were passing by on a bike or something. There was never a trace of a smile. Luckily, I had my 6'3" father with me everywhere I went. I remember sticking really close to him!


It must have been a cultural thing, because I haven't been stared at like that anywhere else. (With some individual exceptions.)

Oh God, nowadays men always stare at me like this. Not really sure what it means....I just stare, unblinking, back.

Once a guy I only slightly knew from work followed me to a store across the street to ask me out to a movie. This didn't creep me out, so much as it just startled me. He just showed up out of the blue next to my car door, and I made up a lame excuse about already having plans. This was just because I barely knew him, and he put me on the spot, but he immediately apologized for following me. He thought I said no because I was creeped out. Later I got to know him better, and if he had asked me again I would have said yes, because he is intelligent, respectful and responsible. He's a pretty big guy so I'm sure he gets taken the wrong way by woman often. I just wanted to share an experience of misunderstanding, rather than creepiness, ruling the day.

I've met a lot of guys who seem creepy at first, but I have fun talking to them. Actually I just made friends with one I met on the bus a little while ago, hahaha. He's kind of weird but seems harmless. I guess that's what people say before they get murdered, but he seems pretty open and not secretive, which I think is the difference between a harmless weirdo and a potential murderer. XD;; Anyway, that's what pocket pepper-spray is for.

But yeah, "hello" does seem to mean "let's have sex" a lot of the time. Is it mean to let them even get into a convo with me if I don't intend to ever have sex with them? I like to talk to new people, it makes my whole day more interesting. I hope it's the same for them even if they don't get sex out of it. D:

I too have been in a scenario like that, once while working at a ski area, I was at the top of a chairlift. Keep in mind that my job, and the entire reason why I was up there in that booth next to the unloading area is because of a federal law that requires there to be an employee at the top of the lift to watch each and every person as they get off the lift to ensure their safety. One day I had a girl who kept yelling "creep" or "perv" every time she came by. I later had my boss tell me that he got a complaint that I was staring at this person in an inappropriate way.

Here's the thing, my job was to stare at each and every person getting off the lift, anyone who's ever ridden a chairlift in the USA would know that that's the purpose of the person at the top, to closely watch each person get off to spot any signs that they may get off incorrectly, which could cause severe injury. Neither my boss nor I could figure out exactly how it would even be possible for me to stare inappropriately (the woman who made the complaint was very non-descriptive), and I thus didn't get in any trouble for it.

That's what struck me as odd, I was being accused of being a pervert for staring at a woman when that was the job I was being paid to do at the time, and this woman was getting off the lift fine, and had an American sounding accent, which would mean that this was not the first time she ever got off a chairlift in the USA. This type of thing actually happened a few times, but only once was it ever reported to my boss. I just don't understand that when I am there to watch people, and they know that that's the reason I'm there, apparently the only possible way to do that job makes me a pervert.

I wonder if male gynecologists ever get the same treatment.

Haha well said. This is my experience also. I used to give them the benefit of the doubt and just think they were just friendly. Given some of the situations that have occurred because of this now I assume guys are trying to hit on me most of the time. :\ Once a man pulled up next to me in traffic and started talking to me. I answered all his questions and then he said "why don't you pull over and we can talk more?" I said "I have a boyfriend" and he said back "Oh I wasn't coming on to you, you stuck up b**ch" and gave me the finger.

I felt bad about that, but then I asked some friends and they said he was definitely coming on to me and denial was how he decided to deal with my rejection.

I'm a creepy men magnet:\

Had some old bloke grab my arse when I was fourteen.
Had some dude (a guy who worked at the place I volunteered at) in sri lanka grab my arm out of nowhere just to passionately kiss it (while there was NO indication that I would be okay with that or any type of conversation that'd lead to such an action).
The drunk perverted man ALWAYS chooses to sit next to me on the train etc.
I've been followed by creepy men.
I've had older men try to chat me up in the train, also usually drunk.
Have had men trying to 'casually' stroke my lap when they were sitting next to me.
etc. etc.


I really like wearing dresses, especially vintage inspired ones (1940s-1950s) and I like wearing red lipstick etc., but I often choose not to because of the above experiences (though during most of those experiences I wasn't even wearing any make up and would usually wear formless clothes (e.g. baggy jeans/t-shirts etc.):\
But I'd think if I'd wear a pretty dress etc. that the unwanted attention would just double.

I didn't talk to any of these guys though (except the volunteer work dude as it was unavoidable). They're the ones that start. And even if I did respond to them, the behaviour they demonstrate should not be tolerated or be defended. It's just not done. I'm not just some toy you can play with whenever you want. I'm a human being with feelings and could get traumatized (and have been) for a long time by your egocentric decision of getting your jollies off for a couple of seconds/minutes.

I never have understood men... I have just learned to act male enough to not get picked on at school. Unfortunatly this means I have a lot of unlearning to do for when I get further into my MTF transition. As for creepy experiences... I was working at McDonald's at 15, and a coworker who was in her 30s, had a child, and regularly prostituted herself to truckers on her breaks, walked up to me (and possibly other guys there, not sure though) and felt me up. Thankfully she got into a fight with the manager and got fired. It was so creepy and just made me feel all gross inside. Not to mention, at the time, sex was something that was just too weird for me to accept under any circumstances. Now, I may want to try it, but I would still feel to awkward to do so. I am hoping that after my transition, that I will be one of the women that don't get apporached too much, but I doubt this will be the case... I mean, feel free to approach me if you want a relationship, not if you want a one night stand.

I will also add, a male's sex drive is controlled mostly by his horomones. and based on my experience having male horomones, the sex drive is almost constant. I hate it so much. I can't wait to start horomones and be rid of it. I have however found methods of coping, and reducing it. But as well, if a man goes to long without an orgasm, his body will make it hard for him to live a regular day to day life without having one. The only reason I masturbate is to quickly kill my sex drive for a acouple of days. Its disgusting and it feels so wrong. I don't want to mastubate, but my body won't leave me alone until I do. I will never understand how men can be alright with the kind of sex drive they have either. As I have said before, I may have been born male, but I am female, and really don't understand males much better than the average female.