How to decrease one's sex drive?

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Exactly - it's worth it to hold out for the right guy.

Unfortunately as they say 'you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the prince'. I think that is just the price we pay for living here as life is basically an ongoing experiment nobody has really figured out yet. In some ways that's the reason it's still interesting, there are unanswered questions we all can explore otherwise it would be boring.

Have you tried phytoestrogens? Soy foods and the like.

Strangely, I think I already eat a lot of phytoestrogens out of mere food preference - soy products like tempeh, and pomegranates.

I actually brought the issue up with my psychiatrist. She asked if any medications I had previously taken that commonly affect sex drive as a side effect had effected me that way. I said no, nothing has - from birth control pills to a variety of anti-depressants. Even severe depression itself doesn't lower my sex drive; if anything it raises it because I look to sex as a way to temporarily feel better.

So I got a referral for a neuroendocrinologist. The psychiatrist said that very little research has been done on hypersexuality in women, especially when the cause appears to be neuroendocrinological (perhaps having to do with the conversion of testosterone to estrogen in the brain, or the number of receptors, or other variables). But she said the neuroendocrinologist would probably at least find my story interesting, considering my dad's abnormally high testosterone levels and the fact that in his case as well, the effects seems to be primarily neurological.

Fun Fact: Everyone's brain converts a certain amount of testosterone into estrogen. The amount that is converted varies between individuals, and of course there are some average differences if you compare genders, ages, etc.

Another Fun Fact: Names of hormones, neurotransmitters, and peptides (which share some characteristics with both), refer to groups of similar chemicals. So, for example, we all have a variety of estrogens, epinephrines, endorphins, etc. all interacting in unique ways throughout the body. This makes neuroendocrinology pretty complicated.

Then to further complicate things, if there is too much estrogen the excess will get converted to testosterone. Phytoestrogens are slippery too, while they are a source of estrogen, they provide less estrogen than other sources of it so they can fill up the estrogen receptors .... so a lot of free estrogen in the system and less getting actually used!

Interesting. I have long wondered if the estrogen - testosterone conversion process, and / or the way our brains interact with these hormones has anything to do with gender identity and various aspects of sexuality.

Unfortunately, I am not sure if we currently have the technology to study this in humans, and animal studies would provide little insight because we can't, for example, identify transgendered rats among an average lab rat colony.

I also have the same issue... I like to have up to five times a day (depending on the duration). It GETS to me when I don't have sex for a month or two and this has led me to have sex with friends on several occasions. I'm even more bothered by the way my sex drive can distract from the other aspects of my life. Recently I have found that with effort, I can stop myself from thinking about sex completely for as long as I need. However, I cannot manage a middle ground, I am either completely asexual or a raging sex monster. But, at least I can choose which to be.

I consume tons of soy (I'm a lactose intolerant meat-avoider), and that doesn't seem to fix anything.

I think masturbation worsens the problem for most women, all it does for me is remind me that I'm not getting laid. I can only have satisfying orgasms when talking to or in the prescene of someone I'm attracted to, or, I discovered recently, outdoors.

I really wonder if this problem is common for women with autism spectrum? I think it might be because of differences in sensory perception...

Soy doesn't work. It raises estrogen levels but that's about it. I live off of soy. I have the same problem with having a high sex drive.
It's annoying. Mine didn't kick in until I hit 32. I'm hoping it diminishes soon.

I did go through a phase where I adopted a more ascetic life style. I fasted and meditated and read spiritual books. It helped for a while but then I got frustrated and started having even more fantasies. I don't look at porn and that actually turns me off. Still, it's there and it distracts me. I don't have a physical need for intimacy as much as a desire to connect with someone on a deep emotional level coupled with sex of course.

Now I have this fantasy life that is wonderful but it's not real. The only thing that helps me with this problem is delving into intellectual topics and reading.

Same here.

Have a good root.

Exactly... I try do the same thing. I can get org*sm-like feelings sometimes if I get completely into a creative project (dance, painting, making music...). Hehe

But, it's 1) only a temporary solution and 2) can never predict when I'm going to feel that way about a creative project and 3) still have that physical tingling always making me excited... and 4) I usually connect that excited feeling to sex!

And 5) I don't want to squash that feeling; it only means I can have great sex with someone!

I'm too shy and in something of a shattered relationship right now, and I have only had one partner. I haven't gotten out there a lot.

Last edited by Reflection on 15 Jan 2009, 5:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Where were all you beautiful ladies when I was young, good looking and single. And a dork, nerd, geek looking for a female friend.

It's kind of sad. I hate to make this kind of generalization, but I often find myself having more respect for men of your generation. Maybe it's because you're older and wiser, or maybe there really have been significant cultural changes. My values and attitude seem more common among those of previous generations - too close to my parents' age for me to consider dating them.

I like quiet, sensitive, geeky guys who think for themselves and are unpretentious. A lot of guys these days (who would not catch my interest at all) seem to feel the need to act all fake and pretentious in order to impress girls. I see straight through the act and so do most of the girls I know. I don't know why they act that way and I really don't understand why it ever works in their favor.

So the nice, honest, unpretentious ones get fought over and taken pretty quickly, at least among the people I know. Or you get to know them better and they turn out to be deeply troubled, struggling with depression or substance abuse or something - maybe in part because they've spent their whole lives being bullied by all the as*holes. Who knows.

Anyway, my sex drive seems to be disappearing now that I'm trying different mental exercises to get rid of it. I know it will come back naturally when and if I meet a nice, honest, quirky guy who doesn't have too many "issues" (we all have some).

I thought that would work as I have a tendency to reduce the sex drive in most women I meet.

I am not interested in older men, yuk! They do not turn me on or my idea of a good root.

release_the_bats have you considered it could be more about their age and less about the generation. I think that would make more sense biologically. People always go on about how much better it was in their time, but if you look at the history they had problems just like today.

In nature the 50s was pretty superficial just like today. The sexual revolution wasn't a new thing, it just opposed Victorian sensibilities trying to keep a lid on it.