Offended by superficial male attention?

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I've considered that, and have come up with a pretty resounding "No!". I don't know - I just find the whole "hitting on" culture so awkward and uncomfortable (at least for me!) that I wish nobody would hit on me. It makes my skin crawl and it inexplicably makes me feel like crap, instead of flattered, as most women seem to feel.

The funny thing is, I've tried dressing down when I do go out - I was in a jacket, jeans and sneakers in a room of writhing sparkly miniskirts and f%&k-me heels, and I have never been hit on so much in my life! Men are very strange creatures. (But so are women, so - what can ya do?)

Never think that there is something wrong with you!! That's you. That's the way "YOU" as an individual are. Be VERY careful about "wondering" about yourself because it will set you up for self-doubt and eventual manipulation by others. When I was young, I was told that I was physically attractive. I HATED when men whistled and yelled things at me in public. I saw it as a male dominanace display and that they felt a "right" to "subjugate" me based on my appearance. When I openly rebuked one, his reaction was almost violent. So, it was true ! It was a male dominance display. It it were in another era or another country, this rotten guy probably would've raped me...another display of control and dominanace. Their attention also embarrased me...made me feel like a whore. Many times I was taken on dates and shown off for the guy's ego boost alone. I felt like some sort of attractive pet on a lease. I was NEVER asked how I felt or what I'd like to do or if I wanted dinner. I was just dragged around to boost their egos. They dropped very little if any cash on the date. I used to sneak away just to scarf down some fast food. But that's my story. As far as that party that you attended, usually such situations are the same in nightclubs. They are first attracted to your apprearance and then call you either to get to know you better or for eventual sex. I met my husband that way. He rejected a lot of girls based on appearance but took me ONLY because I was considered cute. I was sooo lonely, it was the first time I was greatful to have a pretty face. I was always a bit on the chunky side. I liked his personality, we had a lot in common even though he did most of the talking.
I put sex on the back burner because sex will ALWAYS ruin everything (for me, it always did).
He didn't bother because we had too much fun together. One thing led to another, we married after a year and a half. We've been together for 16 years now. I hope we will be together for many, many more years. We are both on the spectrum. We have no friends just work and each other. We travel a lot and are raising our son who is on the spectrum as well. I honestly don't think I could take an NT! or an AS who's trying to act like one. It was disastrous in the past. It's like forcing someone not to be gay when they are blatantly gay. How awful!

I SO agree with you there!! I think I needed this class! (how to interact with a man).

greenlandgem: I can relate to what you´re saying. I think part of it is that I have a huge trouble feeling attracted to someone based solely on appearance, so it´s hard for me to understand when someone feels that way, instantly, about me. What´s more, I often find these kinds of men too pushy, and I feel pressured to make a snap decision. I need time before I know if I´m attracted to someone. I wish people would have more "real" conversations, this would make it easier for me to be interested. (I relate to people through subject matter). But as it is, some of these men who´ve approached me can´t seem to talk about anything other than my appearance, and my body. I mean, sorry....why would I find it interesting to talk about MY body??? Am I missing something here???

I think we're very much on the same page, Morgana!

It's a shame that our culture has devolved to the stage where so many people (especially in the industry I work in) just get drunk, meet someone, have sex with them that same night, then see where things go from there. That is at complete odds with how attraction works for me. I often turn down men who I might have come to really like, but did so because I had only just met them. Then once I've turned them down, they don't ever bother to get to know me because I've already expressed my lack of interest. VERY frustrating!

Yes, I have that same problem too. I think this instant-attraction thing is one of the reasons why I have so few relationships.