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why is it always about the women?

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MissConstrue
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24 Feb 2009, 11:08 am

Yeah I hear that excuse a lot...... :roll:

Just get a damn DNA test if you want proof that your kid isn't biologically related to you.


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sinsboldly
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24 Feb 2009, 11:08 am

Fnord wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
... because she built your baby. That is usually why a man builds a woman a house. To provide for his children.

Her children ... there's no guaranty that any one of them is his.


yup, and if he can't trust her that they are his, then it's his issue, isn't it?

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Fnord
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24 Feb 2009, 11:16 am

sinsboldly wrote:
Fnord wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
... because she built your baby. That is usually why a man builds a woman a house. To provide for his children.

Her children ... there's no guaranty that any one of them is his.

yup, and if he can't trust her that they are his, then it's his issue, isn't it?

Not entirely ... trust is earned. So is mistrust. If you have suspicions about someone's integrity, then something the other person did must have triggered those suspicions.

The exception, of course, is paranoid-schizophrenia.



mitharatowen
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24 Feb 2009, 11:18 am

digger1 wrote:
mitharatowen wrote:
Wow.. people helping the homless.
What bastards. :roll:


a swing and a miss.

the point is that they're making a home for women, not a home. I think if they do one for women, they must do one for men as well.

Who's to say they don't?

Actually you're probably right because women would complain if there was a men-only shelter.

I just think there's better things to do than complain about people helping the homeless. Women or no. There are plenty of genderless homeless shelters already in existence so I don't see how this has anything to do with women getting things "first"



mitharatowen
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24 Feb 2009, 11:19 am

Fnord wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
Fnord wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
... because she built your baby. That is usually why a man builds a woman a house. To provide for his children.

Her children ... there's no guaranty that any one of them is his.

yup, and if he can't trust her that they are his, then it's his issue, isn't it?

Not entirely ... trust is earned. So is mistrust. If you have suspicions about someone's integrity, then something the other person did must have triggered those suspicions.

The exception, of course, is paranoid-schizophrenia.

Oh dear lord. How the hell did this become about cheating? Are we having an all-out gender war here? :roll:



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24 Feb 2009, 11:26 am

mitharatowen wrote:
Fnord wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
Fnord wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
... because she built your baby. That is usually why a man builds a woman a house. To provide for his children.

Her children ... there's no guaranty that any one of them is his.

yup, and if he can't trust her that they are his, then it's his issue, isn't it?

Not entirely ... trust is earned. So is mistrust. If you have suspicions about someone's integrity, then something the other person did must have triggered those suspicions.

The exception, of course, is paranoid-schizophrenia.

Oh dear lord. How the hell did this become about cheating?

Cheating? I'm talking about trust v. suspicion, as well as the unequal treament of the genders when it comes to social services.

mitharatowen wrote:
Are we having an all-out gender war here? :roll:

Not yet ... we haven't had the official, "Cool down, people, or I'll have to close this thread" warning from one of the mods.



Last edited by Fnord on 24 Feb 2009, 11:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

mitharatowen
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24 Feb 2009, 11:27 am

Fnord wrote:
mitharatowen wrote:
Fnord wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
Fnord wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
... because she built your baby. That is usually why a man builds a woman a house. To provide for his children.

Her children ... there's no guaranty that any one of them is his.

yup, and if he can't trust her that they are his, then it's his issue, isn't it?

Not entirely ... trust is earned. So is mistrust. If you have suspicions about someone's integrity, then something the other person did must have triggered those suspicions.

The exception, of course, is paranoid-schizophrenia.

Oh dear lord. How the hell did this become about cheating?

Cheating? I'm talking about trust v. suspicion, as well as the unequal treament of the genders when it comes to social services.

mitharatowen wrote:
Are we having an all-out gender war here? :roll:

Who said anything about cheating?

Cheating is kinda how you get kids that aren't yours.... :wink:



MissConstrue
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24 Feb 2009, 12:12 pm

mitharatowen wrote:
digger1 wrote:
mitharatowen wrote:
Wow.. people helping the homless.
What bastards. :roll:


a swing and a miss.

the point is that they're making a home for women, not a home. I think if they do one for women, they must do one for men as well.

Who's to say they don't?

Actually you're probably right because women would complain if there was a men-only shelter.

I just think there's better things to do than complain about people helping the homeless. Women or no. There are plenty of genderless homeless shelters already in existence so I don't see how this has anything to do with women getting things "first"


I wouldn't mind a Men's Shelter in fact I think that would be great. Only thing is my brother who's been in one said he hated most of the men there. I guess that makes him sexist?........ :lol:

As for me, I was in a Women's Shelter and then a homeless one which was genderless. I have to be honest, I really did not feel comfortable or safe sleeping in a room with a bunch of guys. There were more guys in that shelter than there were women.

One good thing I learned from that experience is not all homeless people fit the profiles of druggies and bumbs. Most of them I got to know had mental disorders and some got laid off from their jobs. It really taught me a lot about stereotypes and how misinformed we are in the U.S. about homeless people. It's actually pretty sad I think.


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mitharatowen
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24 Feb 2009, 12:26 pm

^ Sorry for the generalization. What I meant was that there is a liklihood that a certain faction of women would complain as they often do at any sort of male-only place/activity.



MissConstrue
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24 Feb 2009, 12:32 pm

^Oh no, I wasn't thinking about the generalization.

Yeah you're right about that. Women can be just as bad as men.

I just wanted to share my story. I got tons of them regarding shelters lol.

I just wish people in general weren't so judgemental about homelessness. It could happen to anyone.


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24 Feb 2009, 1:22 pm

sister has worked with people who live in similar hostels/homes.
One of the reasons some homes are just for women is because of the women who have been beaten up/treated badly by men and cant be around them [eg,PTSD and other MH stuff],there are actually places just for men who can't/dont want to be with women for various reasons as well.


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24 Feb 2009, 2:03 pm

A shelter is not a home. People who live in shelters are still homeless, as are those who sofa-surf. But a shelter may be quite a bit safer than the street.

Both sexes are vulnerable to violence on the street (let's go beat up a bum!), but women are more likely to be raped, and that gives some people the heebie-jeebies, so they want to do something about it.

In Vancouver, they're trying to open enough shelter spaces to get everyone off the street who wants off the street. One of the issues was dogs and shopping carts. Most shelters didn't allow them, and people were staying on the street so they wouldn't lose their dogs/possessions, so recently they opened some shelters that allow them, which helps.

Some shelters do need to be women only, for safety issues, as has been stated by others already, but really, we just need more shelters, and more permenent affordable housing as the next step. And with affordable housing, if it's actual apartments and not just hotel rooms with shared bathrooms/kitchens, it doesn't matter what sex you are, since people have privacy. So they just need to build them, and subsidize them in some way for those who can't afford market rates (though I don't agree with social housing - I prefer portable subsidies for use in market housing).

Personally, I'd feel safer in a women-only shelter, but I can tell you that I wouldn't necessarily feel safe. The women-only rooming house I lived in was pretty scary in some ways - I wasn't tough enough for some of those girls.



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24 Feb 2009, 4:45 pm

Fnord wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
Fnord wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
... because she built your baby. That is usually why a man builds a woman a house. To provide for his children.

Her children ... there's no guaranty that any one of them is his.

yup, and if he can't trust her that they are his, then it's his issue, isn't it?

Not entirely ... trust is earned. So is mistrust. If you have suspicions about someone's integrity, then something the other person did must have triggered those suspicions.


well, if I questioned someone's integrity why would I be sleeping with them?

Merle


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sinsboldly
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24 Feb 2009, 5:03 pm

Anemone wrote:
A shelter is not a home. People who live in shelters are still homeless, as are those who sofa-surf. But a shelter may be quite a bit safer than the street.

Both sexes are vulnerable to violence on the street (let's go beat up a bum!), but women are more likely to be raped, and that gives some people the heebie-jeebies, so they want to do something about it.

In Vancouver, they're trying to open enough shelter spaces to get everyone off the street who wants off the street. One of the issues was dogs and shopping carts. Most shelters didn't allow them, and people were staying on the street so they wouldn't lose their dogs/possessions, so recently they opened some shelters that allow them, which helps.

Some shelters do need to be women only, for safety issues, as has been stated by others already, but really, we just need more shelters, and more permenent affordable housing as the next step. And with affordable housing, if it's actual apartments and not just hotel rooms with shared bathrooms/kitchens, it doesn't matter what sex you are, since people have privacy. So they just need to build them, and subsidize them in some way for those who can't afford market rates (though I don't agree with social housing - I prefer portable subsidies for use in market housing).

Personally, I'd feel safer in a women-only shelter, but I can tell you that I wouldn't necessarily feel safe. The women-only rooming house I lived in was pretty scary in some ways - I wasn't tough enough for some of those girls.


QFT I have lived on the streets and in "homeless" shelters. I am not tough enough for the centers, either. Social situation are far more important, and that 'eye contact' thingie. It is difficult when you don't know what your body language is saying and someone decides it is enough to bash in your face cause you are 'looking at them funny'. At least on the streets I could run when I got the chance, if I got the chance. Sleeping was the most difficult. I hear there are churches in San Francisco that lets street people sleep in the pews during the day. It's called "Sacred Sleep" and is mostly old women, cause they cause the least trouble.

Merle


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Fnord
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24 Feb 2009, 5:22 pm

Home is wherever you are when you've run out of places to go.



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24 Feb 2009, 6:08 pm

digger1 wrote:
if I want a house, I pick up a hammer and build one? If she wants a house, I should pick up a hammer and build her one?

Never! build your house and live alone and enjoy your own freedom, invite few women now and then to your house for casual sex. On the other hand, you can build her a house, though under your name, or having her living in your own house, without getting married, securing your safety that way, avoiding divorce issues and all that.

sinsboldly wrote:
well, if I questioned someone's integrity why would I be sleeping with them?

Because that someone would be so hot?


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