guys keep hitting on me/ unwanted attention.

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Although I am not a woman I find it is easy to get rid of people if you dont make eye contact with them and give short answers to their questions.

If you bring a book with you, you can just read it while they try and talk to you and they will quickly become uncomfortable and eventually leave.

Doing that would only encourage that type of man to continue preying.

It doesn't really sound like she is dealing with some kind of obsessed predator...
It just sounds like a bunch of persistent guys.

I think it is pretty hard for the average guy to ask someone who won't even look at them out.

Good call. I'll keep that one in mind for myself.

Ok ...none of you will believe what just happened to me yesterday.

My uncle asked me out!! ! He is not really my uncle but he is related to me in a complicated way i can never remember. so i call him my uncle.

First he asked me if i wanted to move to his house. I sensed something funny about this but ignored it thinking i was paranoid.

Then he talked about how he is lonely and has no girlfriend. Then at the end of the conversation he said. "if you and your boyfriend ever break up you can always go out with me."

I was so shocked and freaked out by it!

I told my mom and dad. They said he was probably joking. But who makes jokes like that!! !!

Lucky for me he lives in another state and i can just ignore is calls. And believe me i never want to speak to him again!

He is as old as my dad and is a blood relative!! Who does that!! !

Yes it is just random guys doing it. I have no stalkers.

I try not to look at anyone but it is hard to walk around like that but i have tired.

After I'm done with all my back doctors I'm going to keep my hair greasy and stop wearing deodorant.

I've had enough of this crap.

If anyone has any extra advice keep it coming, I need all the help i can get.

Never brush your teeth anymore?
Let them rot in your mouth.
And then blow a good blow in the faces of who bother you, but discreetly.

Though that advice won't work on the phone, I'm afraid

There's nothing like a kick in the bollocks to make a man reflect on his manners in front of the ladies.

Ahaha! I like your style.

I've got a pair of big, steel-toed boots that I can lend to our OP if she needs 'em. Oi!

I have found that reading a book in public only compells people to approach you and try to get into a conversation about the book you are reading (someone mentioned the book thing)
I used to take a book out with me wherever I went, and that is always what happened. i don't necc. know if they were trying to hit on me persay..but the unsolicited conversation was generally irritating enough.
I was kinda graceless with the cold shoulder and had someone pour a drink down my back once because I came off as rude just because I wanted to be left alone.

I don't get hit on by anyone really anymore(no matter..I have two boyfriends anyway...)...and when I did get hit on..I never really knew what was going on...or was incredibly clueless till the last moment.
I don't get hit on....assumably...because I am short and frumpy...my vibe often comes across as weird and extremely childlike for my age or cranky and unapproachable...I help run a venue that is usually teeming with younger and more attractive females than me...I do not read or respond to anything but the most basic body language...

When I was the singer in a band, I was younger and much more attractive.. I was so shy and withdrawn that I could hardly talk to anyone.....I inevitably got unwanted male attention...and it made me so nervous...I was so quick to point out that i had a boyfriend..I couldn't even talk to a male for more than a few sentences without bringing it up...and then sometimes they would get offended...or indignant that I thought they were hitting on me just because they were talking to me...

Thanks for the offer. Unfortunately i don't have the self confidence to be rude, let alone do that.

I think that is part of my problem. I cant be rude. If i could i think alot of this would go away.

It took me decades to learn how to be - and to have the guts to be - deliberately rude in response to those who deserved it.

I have been putting the advice i got from this thread into practice. I am trying to walk with my head held high. I remembered someone wrote that here. I also have been trying to avoid eye contact. (its funny, I've gotten so used to making eye contact that i have to try not too. )

When a guy was talking to me i called a friend on the phone so i wouldn't have to talk to him. It worked too.

I also lied when he asked me what i was doing that night. I told him i was going over to my boyfriends house. even though my boyfriend lives in another country.

It worked too! he stopped trying to chat me up.

i don't like lying but i guess sometimes i need to.

I hope i am able to learn when its ok to be rude. I also need alot of guts to do it!

Here's a different perspective: Guys will perceive you differently than you perceive yourself, so even though you consider yourself to be average-looking, guys (obviously) find you above average. This is out of your control, there's nothing you can reasonably do about it. Plus, its commonplace for guys to strike up conversations with women they are interested in, and its also commonplace for them to ask women out on dates. I think a polite "no thank you" would suffice for most guys and pepper spray would work for the rest.

If the attention makes you uncomfortable, you might try getting yourself a ring or two and wearing them on your ring finger so as to give the impression of being engaged or married.

I didn't say "perfect solution".. I guess I didn't actually say "right idea" but my point was more that we constantly say that men need to control themselves, it's disrespectful for them to hit on women who dress attractively, etc., but at the same time we make an effort to look sexy and then get all shocked when it makes men think of sex. (OK, I know that men are going to think of sex no matter what.. but the social normality of women making an effort to look sexy and then get offended when that makes men think of sex is a bit of a double standard, I guess.) There must be a better way to go about not being a sex object than to gain lots of weight, right? It's not like obesity is simply unattractive, it's unhealthy too.
How does one go about trying to look "good," particularly in the eyes of other women, without looking ugly or unattractive?
I've heard theories that some of this general principle is the reason for the popularity in high fashion of using severely anorexic models-- they don't want attractive women modeling the clothes, they want walking skeletons. If the woman is attractive, the attention on her takes away from the attention on the clothing. They don't want people looking at the runway thinking about how sexy the models are, they want them thinking about what she's wearing. If she had hips and boobs, people would be looking at those and not at the clothing designs.

This may be part of the incidence of anorexia in general; the desire to stop being a sex object without getting fat.


The (other) really difficult thing is determining the difference between a guy being nice, and hitting on you. I seriously have no idea how to tell.