I just ran into some trouble with body-image related stuff ...
I've been feeling very positive and determined lately - I've given up drinking and started taking ADs that help me. I decided to use this new determination to try and change my shape - as anyone who reads this Women's Discussion will probably have heard many times already from me, I hate my body especially my boobs and I want a harder, more muscular physique.
So I started exercising a lot and cut out all fattening foods and for a few weeks I was fine and I lots loads of weight. But after about 3 weeks I reached a plateau and stopped shrinking so rapidly. My muscles were getting toned up but not enough. So I increased the exercise and started eating less and less.
This all came to an end on Sunday when I went for a 20-mile walk without eating enough to keep me going. I was by myself and far from civilization when I started to feel woozy. I had no choice but to keep going ( I still had 5 miles to go at that point ). I was scared that I would collapse but I managed not to. The next day I felt exhausted. I managed to go to work but I could not do anything, I just sat and stared all day.
The day after that, I could not face going to work. I took 2 days off and have got back to work today. My boss said I was unreasonable for taking time off "just for being tired", but obviously he has never experienced that kind of exhaustion. I lay in bed all day and I found it painful to walk up and down the stairs or to the corner shop.
All this happened so quickly - in only 5 weeks I went from doing no exercise to doing some and then more and more until I burnt myself out.
I hope I've learnt a lesson from this. I've written myself a new exercise plan that amounts to about 25 per cent of what I have been doing. I have made an agreement with myself that I will stick to the plan and I will not do any more than it says. Every month I will add a LITTLE bit extra, but I cannot add anything in between, only every 1st of the month.
It's funny because I never thought I'd have to restrict my exercise - usually not doing enough is the problem! But it is really dangerous, I now realise. Also I think it is dangerous to decrease your intake of food and increase your exercise at the same time. I am going to just focus on exercise and not try to diet any more. Muscle tone increases one's metabolism anyway so if I am happy to lose weight very slowly, maybe just exercise will be enough. Oh how sensible I have become as a result of having such a fright!!
22 Jul 2010, 9:20 am
