Being female and being opinionated.

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It's absolutely true. Have you ever used a gender neutral name on the internet, in an MMO, etc.? Completely different reaction.

It wasn't that long ago when women were always expected to be sweet and soft-spoken. It's not as extreme as it once was but if most men had their way it would be. And we also wouldn't be allowed to vote, wear pants instead of dresses or have real paying jobs. Oops, that was opinionated wasn't it? Sorry! *girly giggle* On the other hand it only takes nine months to give birth, so everything else should be much easier and faster for women to accomplish! Oh I'm so unladylike and embarrassed I'm breaking out into a glow! (it was once also very unladylike for women to say "sweat", but when was the last time you heard a woman say glow in place of it?)

Look at Julia Sugarbaker on Designing Women. She is very outspoken, very opinionated, and very much a lady.

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I am strongly opinionated.

My opinion on this thread is that it is amusing to read posts that say opinionated women are just dandy - as long as they are nice/tactful/considerate about it

Without exception the only times I have been called a harpy have been when I have logically presented my opinion backed up by research and facts, and the other person has felt it necessary to resort to name calling.

Most men find it challenging at some point to deal with an opinionated women because they exist in a culture that tells them they are entitled to be right, regardless of facts. Not all of that will be a conscious thing for all men, and a fair few of them get over it pretty quickly, but I have certainly come across many men who feel the best use of a woman's time is either in the kitchen or the bedroom, and quite a few women who agree.

I think there may be this simple underlying pattern at work:

• When you voice an opinion, you can offend someone. There are people taking offence all the time because someone’s beliefs differ too much from theirs.

• When someone offends you, the “classical” response is physical aggression.

• Since there’s a very strong, ancestral condemnation against a man physically assaulting a woman, this leaves men at a disadvantage. Therefore, to make it “fair”, women can’t be allowed to enjoy the same freedom of speech as men do.

Doesn't it depend on how the information is presented though? If any person male of female has an air of "I'm right and you are stupid because you haven't read what I've read and don't have all the facts and can't percieve it as I see it. What I am saying proves that you are wrong and stupid and small." People like that, even if they are right are extremely unpleasant to be around.

Examples of famous people who behave like that who I can think of are men. So being opinonated is not appealing either in men or women.

Having an opinon is a totally different thing. That can be valued and appreciated. It leads to interesting conversation. It can also be valued more if you are willing to take into account the fact that other people have their own opinions on things and they may be more ready to listen to you if you are willing to listen to them.

It's not what you say, it's the way that you say it.

To illustrate my point I want to reference a Gregory Peck film The Big Country.

imdb film details

James McKay is a man who doesn't like to show off. His attitude is more pleasant than those men around him. (I'm not describing this very well.) He is a strong man, but has a subtle way of offering his opinions.

Personally, I think that the reason why men would not want to be around opinionated women is that 1. it presents a challenge to their dominance and 2. social stigmas dictate that it is especially embarassing for a man to lose in an arguement against a woman than one with another man.

Really, I don't care what men expect of women, and I don't respect any ideals of what any gender should or shouldn't be.

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