What are some ways to make myself more sexually appealing?

Page 4 of 5 [ 68 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

whatamess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2007
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,284

04 Oct 2010, 3:28 am

I honestly believe that clothes that you feel comfortable in, make you feel sexier...I don't feel sexier in a cute dress...I actually feel sexier in yoga pants and a tank top or long sleeve tshirt...and I love black/white most of the time...My husband on the other hands HATES black/white...I don't think he owns anything black except suits...yet, even he will tell me when I wear it that I look sexy...which is funny...because again, it has to do with how it makes ME feel thus that sexiness is what he sees, not the clothes...

I will say that even my 9yr old AS son tells me that I must have red lips because boys like red lips...hehe...yes, he picks out lipsticks for me...haha...and I live by the beach so I rarely wear any makeup...but I can tell you that my hair can be in a ponytail, a bit messed up or done...but if I have at least some type of red tint/gloss on my lips and whatever I am wearing I am comfortable in, my husband is following me around with "you look so sexy today" even if I was cleaning all day...

as far as short hair? I've had guys that preferred short hair...so, I don't think that is an issue...

PS - because of my AS maybe? I do not look at myself in the mirror much...it makes me feel weird, etc...and those days, well, I feel better about myself....

good luck...



ebec11
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,288
Location: Ottawa, Ontario

05 Oct 2010, 7:49 pm

I was thinking of some auburn red highlights, but I LOVE my dark (almost black) brown hair. Haven't had the guts to risk any thing yet though, what if it looks bad?
I love healthy food, so hopefully I SHINE :D



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

05 Oct 2010, 9:54 pm

ebec11 wrote:
I was thinking of some auburn red highlights, but I LOVE my dark (almost black) brown hair. Haven't had the guts to risk any thing yet though, what if it looks bad?
I love healthy food, so hopefully I SHINE :D


Black hair is very pretty. Don't worry about dying it if that is its natural colour.



ebec11
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,288
Location: Ottawa, Ontario

06 Oct 2010, 9:17 pm

Thanks :)
It's VERY dark brown though, only black when it's wet. My mom is borderline black, I think mine is just a shade or two lighter :)



nekowafer
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 440

12 Oct 2010, 9:30 am

Look into hair styles that suit the shape of your face. The smallest change can make a huge difference. I used to keep my hair shoulder-length, parted in the middle, no bangs. Then I got it cut a little shorter, with it slightly shorter in the back than it is in the front, and I got eyebrow-length bangs. It's crazy.. I get stared at more, and I got a ton of compliments from people I've never even spoken to at work. If you're willing to post a picture, we might have some ideas for you.

For glasses, you might just not have the right shape for your face. Research that too, there are always ideas online. And see if you can get some with something a little different - maybe colored rims, or a gem on the side, or something like that.

With clothing, you want to hint at the curves underneath while leaving everything to the imagination. Make sure you get tops/sweaters/dresses with a lot of shape. Darting in the front, belts, or an empire waist can help. Wear pants/skirts that fit well, show off the tush, and are the right length. The show What Not To Wear can give you great ideas. Try to pick clothing with a little, special detail. Maybe you wear basic jeans, but then a button-down shirt with darting to show off your waist and a sparkly thread in the stripes.

The most important thing is to feel good about yourself. Don't change just to look better for others - change to feel better about yourself. Then you will look better to others without even trying. You will look confident and happy.

Oh, and shoes - don't forget those! For every day shoes, you can get some really interesting sneakers. Comfortable, practical, but good looking. For the fancier stuff, find nice heels (if you can wear those) or flats that fit perfectly and don't hurt. They do exist.

Sorry if anything I've said was said before, I didn't read through the whole thread!


_________________
"Everything counts in large amounts."


Raymond_Fawkes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,208

12 Oct 2010, 11:11 pm

For me cosmetics accentuates the looks. Personally I'm attracted to girls with longer hair, who may wear lip gloss. Also nail polish that fits with skin color. (black, white, silver, light green, baby blue, bronze,yellow,orange.) exotic colors..(not red) I like eye liner it's pretty attractive I think.. and I really like women who dress conservatively and wear stockings. Ahh *drools* lol.



mechanicalgirl39
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Apr 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,340

13 Oct 2010, 7:55 am

About feminine but short hair cuts...You might like what I call the "manta ray" - a short bob that reaches about to the base of your neck with two longer locks at the front. Example from Aeon Flux:

Image

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

Just a suggestion - don't alter your hair if you don't want to! :)

Yasmine wrote:
Erisad wrote:
It's true. I knew a girl who was 5'0 and a natural 34DD. She has to get custom-made bras since most stores won't carry her size. She was a very pretty puerto rican girl but she had sooooooo many creepers and stalkers just because of her bust. Her back hurts all the time and she wishes she could afford a reduction. It's sad because people recognize her, not for her beautiful personality but for her boobs.


34DD is not that big, not big at all.. I wear 34DD... *gets defensive*
I do get a lot of creepers though... sig :(


I wear 32DD. Which looks even worse as the freaking tumors contrast very noticeably with my thin frame.

Think of a female Gollum with giant boobs...that's kinda how I look. Revolting.


_________________
'You're so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hands on me, one last time' (Breaking Benjamin)


Heliobacter20
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 18 Feb 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 82

14 Oct 2010, 8:47 pm

I found out far too late in life that the most important thing is confidence. Walk with confidence, laugh openly, and be comfortable with yourself (or fake all this until you get there). Mind you, most everyone looks more confident than they are.
Physical: a lot of guys like long hair, a little bit of makeup, and basic hygiene (no moustaches, unibrows, or stinky body odor) and don't dress in anything that horrendously rumpled, baggy, or otherwise unflattering. I could give you a complete rundown based on your appearance but not everyone wants that. Bottom line though, you have to be comfortable.



CaroleTucson
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Aug 2009
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 824
Location: Tucson, AZ

22 Oct 2010, 5:28 pm

I agree about the confidence. Or more generally, your overall attitude. If you project sexy, guys will pick up on it. It's in the way you walk, the way you look at them, the way you smile at them, the way you carry yourself. If your overall attitude says "I'm a sex queen", guys will notice.

Regarding the way you dress, you want to go for "sex queen", not "slu*ty". You can show extra skin without looking like a street walker. Maybe a top that falls off your shoulder a bit, or shows just a little belly.

My opinion is that unless you have the skin and features of a supermodel, you'll want at least some makeup. Get a professional makeover if you need to. It's a good investment.

And don't be above looking at other girls you think are sexy and copying ideas from them.

The best of luck to you :)



nekowafer
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 440

25 Oct 2010, 8:44 am

CaroleTucson wrote:
I agree about the confidence. Or more generally, your overall attitude. If you project sexy, guys will pick up on it. It's in the way you walk, the way you look at them, the way you smile at them, the way you carry yourself. If your overall attitude says "I'm a sex queen", guys will notice.

Regarding the way you dress, you want to go for "sex queen", not "slu*ty". You can show extra skin without looking like a street walker. Maybe a top that falls off your shoulder a bit, or shows just a little belly.

My opinion is that unless you have the skin and features of a supermodel, you'll want at least some makeup. Get a professional makeover if you need to. It's a good investment.

And don't be above looking at other girls you think are sexy and copying ideas from them.

The best of luck to you :)


I agree with everything said here except showing a little belly. If your shirt is that short you'll look like you don't know your size. Showing belly is almost never attractive. Stick with showing a little decolletage, or shoulder, or a bit of thigh.


_________________
"Everything counts in large amounts."


CaroleTucson
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Aug 2009
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 824
Location: Tucson, AZ

25 Oct 2010, 9:21 am

nekowafer wrote:
Showing belly is almost never attractive.


My goodness, that's quite an absolute statement you tossed out.

And lots and lots of men would disagree with you.



Ambrose_Rotten
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jul 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 453
Location: Madison, WI

25 Oct 2010, 11:08 am

ebec11 wrote:
I don't want to show much cleavage at all, especially since any boys I would meet would be at school, but I want to figure out ways to make guys notice me a bit more, like with body language or the right level of sexuality in my clothing/make-up, etc.
I have a curvy body, but with clothing it looks very subtle. I don't wear make-up very much, I personally think I look just as good without it. I wear glasses and have shortish hair, which makes me worry because I've heard that guys are more attracted to long hair. I look good in my glasses and don't want contacts, but I think this could be repelling guys.
I never wear baggy or clothes with stains and stuff like that, but I know guys don't usually care about that unless they actually notice the stains and stuff.
I don't want to ask this on the dating board because I'm not interested so much in actual dating then getting a flirtatious look or two. I just want to feel sexy once in a while, you know? A confidence boost if you will. I feel a female opinion would be best as well.
It's hard because I have scars from SI on my chest area and legs so I don't show off much skin in those places, making me worry because guys of this age are hormone driven manics, so I should show off more, but it scares me that I'll be rejected from the scars, despite them not being super visible.
Any tips?


I think most guys won't be driven away from a few scars. The last person I dated had done lots of self-harming once upon a time, so she had some scars.

I really can't speak for anyone else but myself, but sometimes a good smile is all it takes to attract people.



mechanicalgirl39
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Apr 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,340

25 Oct 2010, 11:27 am

nekowafer wrote:
CaroleTucson wrote:
I agree about the confidence. Or more generally, your overall attitude. If you project sexy, guys will pick up on it. It's in the way you walk, the way you look at them, the way you smile at them, the way you carry yourself. If your overall attitude says "I'm a sex queen", guys will notice.

Regarding the way you dress, you want to go for "sex queen", not "slu*ty". You can show extra skin without looking like a street walker. Maybe a top that falls off your shoulder a bit, or shows just a little belly.

My opinion is that unless you have the skin and features of a supermodel, you'll want at least some makeup. Get a professional makeover if you need to. It's a good investment.

And don't be above looking at other girls you think are sexy and copying ideas from them.

The best of luck to you :)


I agree with everything said here except showing a little belly. If your shirt is that short you'll look like you don't know your size. Showing belly is almost never attractive. Stick with showing a little decolletage, or shoulder, or a bit of thigh.


Ha. I love wearing really short tops with low cut pants. Hey, I have overdeveloped obliques, and I'll show them to the world if I want to. :D :D


_________________
'You're so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hands on me, one last time' (Breaking Benjamin)


CaroleTucson
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Aug 2009
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 824
Location: Tucson, AZ

25 Oct 2010, 1:07 pm

Ambrose_Rotten wrote:
sometimes a good smile is all it takes to attract people.


I think it's the main thing.



RightGalaxy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Dec 2008
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,145

25 Oct 2010, 8:59 pm

Don't do anything with your body. Join an activist group and get your face and name well-known. What is the difference if you were a real-life Cinderella but never left the confines of your inability to socialize. The only recognition you'll get if you get sexy is you'll get laid or get laid more. Don't you want full human connection instead of somebody bobbing for apples in your bucket?



mightypen515
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2011
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 143

31 Jan 2011, 12:20 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
Don't do anything with your body. Join an activist group and get your face and name well-known. What is the difference if you were a real-life Cinderella but never left the confines of your inability to socialize. The only recognition you'll get if you get sexy is you'll get laid or get laid more. Don't you want full human connection instead of somebody bobbing for apples in your bucket?

Yes, right there. I'm like, define yourself as the total you, rather than sectioning one aspect of you and presenting that as the total you. Otherwise you don't get what you want, you get what he wants.
However... if you want to get laid, or get laid more, and that's what you're after, and you're okay with that, you have options. Many. The most straightforward way is to ask, in a place and time that is appropriate, such as a club or other obvious meeting place for adults. That way, he won't expect that you want more, and you can walk away having gotten what you wanted.

rowingineden wrote:
Science proves that long, dark/brunette hair is attractive (it has to do with fertility or something, but this totally works on me and I'm a chick). Girl, maybe you should get some extensions. How about some nice tight pants to emphasize your butt? Also, you know, for some of my SI scars, those scar creams you can get at pharmacies worked wonders. Good luck, milady. *bows and rides off into the sunset*


I'm not against doing something different with your hair, if you like. Don't do it if a man is the only reason, but if you want to and you're excited about it, I say gitrdone. My hair is brunnette, and I've let it grow to just below my butt. I know what my hair does to men and I don't particularly like it, so it's usually up when I'm in public. But short 'dos often can translate as confident. The thing with hair is, if you like your hair, you're comfortable, and comfortable translates to confident. Tighter pants aren't a bad idea for curvy girls, but if your thighs are bigger as you say, you may have to try on different styles and fits until you see Queen Latifah's behind in the fitting room mirror. Then you got it.
If you're socially awkward, and you want to invite a man into your life, there's nothing wrong with using what assets you have that are physical. Be careful of the signals you might send, but don't focus on that, because they'll usually be obvious: don't wear a miniskirt and tube top; a solid-color, simply sewn tank top will attract more of the attention you are after. This is so true for your average skinny girl, but most curvy girls will find they look darn good in a simple tank top. Don't wear anything revealing, men's imaginations fill in the blanks incredibly well.
I like CarolTucson's reply, you want to go for "sex queen" not "slu*ty."
Your comfort with what you're wearing is most important, as your discomfort will show, and to others it might seem like an act.
If you're wearing revealing, make it accidentally revealing, unless it's some shoulder as CarolTucson said. Men love shoulders. Don't ask me why. If I ask my male best friend why, he'll probably say "we think about rubbing our FILL IN THE BLANK on it." When I say accidentally revealing, I mean wear a shirt that might show some belly when you bend over, or stretch or any movement out of the normal. Who cares if you're creating the "accident" that reveals? Men love sneaky peeking.
It doesn't have to be skin revealed, it can be underclothing like a bra. If you wear them, and you intend to accidentally reveal, use your most well-worn one - something you normally wouldn't intend for someone to see. You know that bra you might have, that has the strap that stretched in the washer so badly you had to sew and cut a few inches off it, and there's that gobbledygook of thread of a totally different color than the bra. One of the hooks on the back is missing. Yeah, that bra. Not the Victoria's Secret one. I'm not kidding! Save the pretty bras for when you're taking your shirt off on purpose.
Attracting him to you, and then get past his initial "wanna tap that" impulse. Accidentally revealing your underclothing can't be seen as slu*ty in the slightest.
As an aside, you know...guys advise one another to masturbate before a date, saying you'll have a good time and be more relaxed in front of her because you're not thinking about sex all night long, translating to the man not appearing as a sex-seeker and therefore more attractive and fun and memorable for the woman to be around.
For you, once you have him attracted to you, you can shoo away "wanna tap that" and bring him around to "wanna stay with that" or "wanna marry that." And you do that by never being obvious that you want to attract him which is how the accidents work. Teehee, I got to sneak a peek, and she didn't notice, teehee!
He's attracted, and now you have a chance to talk with him. At least three rules apply: don't talk about sex at all, don't ask how much money he makes, and don't gossip about your friends (hopefully more posters will join in with some helpful rules or guidelines to work with). While you're talking, "wanna tap that" is operating, churning in the middle of his head, two tiny little people in a tiny circle, going at it in the center of his skull. But outside of that tiny circle, there's plenty of space, and he starts to entertain other ideas, which start to grow to fill the space and envelope the two tiny people. Wow, look at that great sex he's having. Man, he's got a couple of great moves there, doesn't he? Go, dude. Go, dude. Rock on. Getchyer groove on. And look at all these cool things that came with it, like an intelligent woman who'd make a great partner and mother who is interesting and has many interesting things to say. The tiny people become one thing among many things, and those things are the ones a man thinks about when he's choosing a longterm partner. You want him to know right away that you are intelligent and you're not a doormat.
You know, I may be totally wrong about all this.
Just trying to help a sister out.
But I still agree with both posters that I quoted. I wonder, if there's a man in your life you'd feel comfortable asking what would attract the kind of guy you're looking for?
Half of the friends I've had over the years have been men, and I don't hesitate to ask man-brain questions. I've been alternately disappointed, surprised, pleased, encouraged, discouraged and scared by the answers.