Any of you Aspie women have a significant other?

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1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
I'm in a committed long-term relationship with the hopes of marrying in the future when my divorce becomes final.

2) How many relationships you've had?
2 serious, several not worth mentioning.

3) Where did you both meet?
My partner and I met on a city bus.

4) How old where you both when it happened?
I was 17, he was 19.

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
He has strong Aspie traits...he is very supportive of my seeking a personal diagnosis and he is aware of the possibility of such an event in the future for our son, of which he is also supportive. He is not interested in pursuing a diagnosis or anything for himself.

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
That he is the most beautiful creature I've EVER laid my eyes upon!

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
Much to his own surprise, he did. I was terrified! LOL! As I exited the bus, he rose and followed me (and his friend struggling to follow him!) I had been drooling over him from afar for months beforehand but did not even dream that he could ever be interested in a girl like me - the weird girl, the freak, the odd-ball

8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
He is the most considerate and thoughtful man I could ever imagine. He does everything for me that I need when I need it. He cares for me when I'm not well, he brings me flowers, he MAKES me take care of myself when taking care of our son gets too much for me. He has seen me thru some of the worst times of my life, including a near fatal illness during my pregnancy and he has always been by my side, holding my hands and wiping my tears.

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
I lost it to my soon-to-be ex-husband at 19, and I thought it would be special because I had waited until I was with someone I thought cared about me...however, I was extremely disappointed with the entire experience.

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
My partner and I were only together for about 5 months when we were teens. We parted ways because of my social problems (even though for years I tried to blame my mother for it because she didn't like him). I thought of him always over the years, and 10 years later, he found me on facebook and we started talking again. I left my husband for him almost 4 years ago, and it was the most intelligent decision I've ever made in my life!

11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?
My own social problems and fears led to our original break-up. I had been abused by my previous bf's and I didn't want to think that he could be horrible like those guys. I was so terrified of being alone with him, I refused nearly all of his invitations out. I would always make up an excuse as to why I wasn't allowed out because I knew my mom would say I couldn't go out with him, and I didn't trust myself around him anyways! I had desperately wanted to lose my virginity to him, but couldn't bring myself to let him get close to me. I honestly didn't know how to act around him and didn't want to do something weird that scared him away or made him hate me.

12) Do you think you'll find someone new?
I did, and trust me...he was NOTHING like the original, so I ditched him! LOL!

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
Married, I love my husband and kids and my husband does a lot of executive functions for me.

2) How many relationships you've had?
About 3 major ones before him. I didn't start dating until I was 20 and met him at 26.

3) Where did you both meet?
Through my ex boyfriend.

4) How old where you both when it happened?
I was 26 he was 37

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
NT, we found out about our oldest son first then realized about me. It's actually been great for him to understand my tendencies are because of sensory stuff.

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
He was actually a good friend of mine while I was dating someone else. We clicked immediately as friends. My ex boyfriend thought of himself as perfect because of his looks when he was really so coniving and predatory. So after we broke up (after me finally seeing the light), it was natural for my husband and I to take the next step since we loved being around eachother so much.

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
Both kinda

8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
Coffee and a clean kitchen in the mornings, always going to the stores, dealing with others/strangers.

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
I was 21 and in college with a mutal V. I was a disaster socially then.

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
My hyusband and I had 2 kids, bought a house and then got married. We have been married now for 3 years.

11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?

12) Do you think you'll find someone new?
No, if I lost my husband, I would not want someone new.

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
In a long-term relationship. It's difficult to maintain alongside work and a degree, but worth it.

2) How many relationships you've had?
Not sure what counts as being significant enough. Looking back, only three other than the current one seem significant.

3) Where did you both meet?
At a small music festival in London, through a mutual friend.

4) How old where you both when it happened?
Me: 21, him: 22. Although, we didn't get together then - I bumped into him a year later and somehow we remembered each other.

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
He's the least autistic person I've ever met. I explained it to him - badly - about three months in. It was difficult because he refused to read any literature on it, he said he was only interested in how it affected me personally, and I found it very hard to describe. I think he finds it all a bit embarrassing and awkward, although he's getting better now.

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
I felt a lot more relaxed talking to him than anyone else.

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
Him - I enjoyed it. I was fed up with exchanging vaguely flirtatious texts and emails and nothing ever going anywhere.

8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
He made me a tape which I've only ever listened to about five tracks of - it isn't my taste at all! He also brought me a cuddly toy monkey, which I still love.

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
I lost my virginity about a week after turning 16. It wasn't a nice experience, but it's not like I lose sleep over it now. I don't view it as symbolic/important.

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
We were together for a year, broke up for a year, got back together over a year ago now.

11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?
It probably sounds bad that we were apart for a year... We do have difficulties, and things got to a point where I couldn't cope. I eventually decided that I couldn't imagine ever preferring anyone's company to him, so we'd just have to make it work.

12) Do you think you'll find someone new?
I hope not - that would be complicated!

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
Long term relationship, planning to marry but not engaged yet

2) How many relationships you've had?
Two worth mentioning

3) Where did you both meet?
Uni

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
I always assumed NT, but I'm thinking more and more that he is probably more "aspie" than I am also when I told him i thought I was, he shrugged it off, he doesn't think there's anything wrong with me

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
I thought he was cute and interesting and health minded

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
He did, but I did lead him into it


8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
What doesn't he do? I work and he doesn't at the moment, so he does all the house chores. He also cares about me getting sunburnt when I forget, reminds me I haven't eaten yet etc. He gives great massages, and though he doesn't understand the whole "siblings are a pain in the arse" thing (no siblings of his own) he still hugs me and tries to make me feel better when I'm upset. He spontaneously tells me he loves me and makes me feel beautiful yeah i know...soppy...but true...

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
We were both horribly nervous, wasn't very fun the first few tries and it was a bit embarrassing, All good now though

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
Five years this week.

11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?
Not applicable. But my last BF and I broke up because I was 17 and starting uni, and he was talking about getting married and having kids, and I freaked and pulled the plug...

12) Do you think you'll find someone new?
No, and I don't want to.

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
I live with my partner. He's not AS, but he's very patient and understanding. He understands me better than anyone else, and he makes an effort to look after me and support me when I need him. I'm very lucky.

2) How many relationships you've had?
5 or 6 short ones (less than a year), and 3 longer-term (over 2 years).

3) Where did you both meet?
At the roleplaying society at my university. He finished his degree over a decade ago, but is still a prominent society member.

4) How old where you both when it happened?
I was 24, he was 34.

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
He is neurotypical, and admits that he can only ever have a limited understanding of what I experience, but he tries very hard to understand.

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
Tall, handsome, smart, interesting, lovely accent. We didn't start going out straight away though, it was over a year before we actually interacted, and then several months before we developed above friendship.

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
He asked me out not long after we met, but I said no because I didn't know him. We basically didn't interact for most of the following year. Then both of us had bad breakups quite close together, and we got back in touch through wanting to talk to someone about it. After several months of hanging out, I asked him out.

8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other do for you?
He is always there for me if I need his help. Even if I'm having a meltdown in the middle of the night or the middle of the street, he always tries to protect and help me. He is one of the most patient people I know, and he almost never gets angry. He sometimes brings me presents when I am feeling down, and he tells me often how much he loves and values me.

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
I lost my virginity at 15, to my first proper boyfriend. We went away for a weekend sightseeing holiday together. It was very gentle and loving.

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
We were only together for about 11 months.

11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?
I think once he got the confidence of being sexually active and desired, he wanted to have that experience with other people.

12) Do you think you'll find someone new?
I found several someones new. I kissed a lot of frogs, but now I have my prince =)

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
Married. I am happy when it's just my husband and I. I believe that when we are alone, we both accept each other's tastes in movies, books, topics to talk about, looks, etc...but as soon as others are around, I believe he tries to go with the "gotta fit into the group mentality" and he instead turns against me finding constant faults.

2) How many relationships you've had?
Many. Two marriages.

3) Where did you both meet?
At a restaurant/bar I used to frequent. He chased me for 4 years. He always had girlfriends and I did not trust or want to be with any man. After 4 years I believed he actually loved me for me. Not sure I believe it now.

4) How old where you both when it happened?
I was 30 and he was 27.

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
He is NT. Neither of us knew about my condition until our son was diagnosed. Until then, we had our issues, but most were related to his crazy ex-wife, his pathetic family and his horrendous kid.

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
I was not impressed by his looks at all. He chased me for 4 yrs and I figured he was actually in love with me.

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
I did in the sense that after I asked him to dance (we frequented the same place for 4 years and had mutual friends) and thus we became at least somewhat friends. But before that day he did constantly ask me out and I always said no.

8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
Back then he listened to me. He made me feel special. He actually thought I was a good person, as I helped him a lot in his life.

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
It was too many years ago to count, but I still remember. Not really that great. But he was a very nice guy, whom I do believe truly loved me vs. my husband.

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
Together with my first for about 1 1/2 yrs. Never married him. With current husband 12yrs.

11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?
With my first, he moved to college...I found out he cheated. I don't give second chances.
With current husband, his need to be like "the other people" and fit in...and to be happy constantly, and not worry about anything in the world...because life is too short and we should always enjoy it...thus we should not worry about what could happen, etc...which makes him irresponsible and when things do happen because of his lack of planning, he plays the victim. It's destroying our marriage.

12) Do you think you'll find someone new?
No. I don't want to after this. I am tired. I am worn out. I will never date or marry anyone with kids and an ex-wife again, and at my age, it will be close to impossible to find someone like that (I'm 43).

[quote="ttqs84"]
1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
Married. Lucky that I found the only guy on the planet that I would ever want to marry.

2) How many relationships you've had?
several pointless ones before I met my husband.

[b]3) Where did you both meet?
At my ex's house

[b]4) How old where you both when it happened?early 30's

[b]5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
I was not diagnosed with anything, husband has aq of 30. When we got together, we just liked that we were odd in similar ways.

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
He was perfect. (still is nearly 10 years later.

[b]7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
me, I figured it was worth the risk. it was.

[b]8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
He lets me be me.

[b]9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity?
I wished it hadn't happened, I didn't enjoy it one bit although i was glad it was over and done with. It was crap. I only did it because boyfriends kept dumping me because I wouldn't do it.


[b]10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
with Ist serious bf, about half a crappy year.
With my husband, 10 years almost, and its forever.

[b]11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?
One of us will have to die for this to end.


[b]12) Do you think you'll find someone new?
never. I'd rather be alone than be with someone else.

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
Married. It depends on the day. Some days I'm happy that I'm married and others I wish I was more financially independent so I could live on my own, but mostly I'm happy about it.

2) How many relationships you've had?
Just the one.

3) Where did you both meet?
My mom used to clean his house. He mentioned that he was going to a Globe Trotters game but didn't have anyone to go with and my mom volunteered me (even though I had never really even met the guy)

4) How old where you both when it happened?
I was 18 and he was 26.

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
NT. I only recently found out about Asperger's. He kind of won't talk to me about it, but seems to be understanding. I'm not officially diagnosed but we both think I have it.

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
He seemed nice, but when we first started hanging out I wasn't interested in dating anyone. I thought he smelled nice, I think I was more attracted to his smell at first then his looks.

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
I did. I didn't know if he was interested in me in that way or not and we had been hanging out for months. My parents were getting a divorce so he would let me hand out at his house when he wasn't working. He invited me out on St. Patrick’s Day to a club and I agreed even though I HATE clubs. All of the people and the noise made me really nervous and I got pretty close to having a meltdown at one point so I clung to him most the night. He asked me to dance and for what ever reason I agreed. I was so tired of not know where I stood with him so I just kissed him when we were dancing and he kissed me back. One of his friends asked us latter it we were going out and we were like, Yah I guess we are.

8 ) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
He makes sure I have cloths to wear to work (if he or my mom didn't take me shopping I would wear the same thing over and over until it fell apart). He doesn't push me to be social and is understanding if I don't want to go out. If I want something he does his best to make it happen. He will lay in bed with me when I'm having a meltdown and hold me untill I feel better. When we first started going out he bought me flowers and all I said is why would I want dead flowers, so now he buys me potted plants instead.

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
I didn't think it was that big of a deal.

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
We have been together for 5 years and married for 2 and a half. Still together.

11) If not, what led for you both to break-up?
N/A

12) Do you think you'll find someone new?
N/A

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
In a long term relationship, we've been together for a few years now. I feel good about it. I find our relationship to be enjoyable

2) How many relationships you've had?
I've had a lot of meaningless short term semi-relationships/hookups, but I don't really like commitment too much. But serious relationships? 3. One relationship that started and ended in highschool, but that was my first serious relationship, then another one from high school till a little into my time in college. Then the man I'm with now.

3) Where did you both meet?
Work. He walked in and instantly I thought he was extremely good looking. I later found out he worked for the company and he eventually ended up as my boss. Funny how things happen.

4) How old where you both when it happened?
I was 18 when we inially met, but we didn't start dating till I was 19. He was 31 when we first met and started dating.

5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
He's NT. He does have anxiety attacks sometimes, and he's got ADD. He's okay with it. I told him how I had previously been diagnosed with ADHD and that it was suggested that I have AS by a doctor a few years ago, but I never followed through with any testing for a diagnosis, (but that I may be in the future). I didn't mention it until we already had moved in together (he is very laid back with most things and completely okay with my quirks), and he really didn't have much to say about it. He asked if it was dangerous in anyway, and I told him of course not, it's just how my brains wired and why I am the way I am. The conversation never came up again.

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
Honestly? His good looks. I mean, I saw him walking towards the door so obviously my first impression was based off looks. After talking to him, I found him to be interesting with good intentions and a very nice laid back man.

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
He did. He asked me if I'd like to get dinner at a very tasty local place. I was happy he asked, since I'm not fond of making the first move.

8) What sort of nice things did your significant other for you?
He does a lot of little things for me at unexpected times. =] Even a simple like cleaning the bathroom from tip to toe (HATE cleaning the bathroom) or doing the grocery shopping when I'm having a hectic week!

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
I felt confused about how to really do "it" haha. It was with the boy from relationship #1. It was awkward the first time, but we were both virgins, so that's not a surprise.

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
We've been together for a couple years, and yes, happily. =]

1) Are you single or married? How do you feel about it and why?
Single, just got out of a long marriage
2) How many relationships you've had?
I had several boyfriends growing up. And now one ex husband.

3) Where did you both meet?
Work. He used to walk by where I worked and one night I had a dream and there he was in the background walking by.

4) How old where you both when it happened?
I was 19 and he was 23
5) Was or is he/she an NT or ''special''? How did he/she reacted about your condition?
He is NT and I didnt get diagnosed until about 3 years ago. But he thought it explained alot about me.

6) What was your 1st impression of him/her?
He interested me. He was a "bad boy" and I was a "good girl".

7) Who made the 1st move? How did you feel about it?
I can't remember. It could have been either of us.

What sort of nice things did your significant other do for you?
He used to make those romantic gestures like flowers from time to time. But it is really hard to remember because for the past 10 years or so things were so messed up between us.

9) How did you feel the first time you lost your virginity? If you did, then with who? Optional question, of course!
It wasn't my husband. It was the boyfriend before him. It was a good experience. I enjoyed sex until the last half of my marriage when he quit thinking about my needs and forced himself on me.

10) How long were you both together/married? Are you still together?
We were married 19 years. We will be officially divorced next month.